


Lucky Sometimes

by hannahmaebe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aurora Sinistra - Freeform, F/M, OC is a slut, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Seer OC, Severus Snape Lives, Severus has a sense of humor, Sex, Slow Build, Slow Burn, That's Not a Bad Thing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:06:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 79,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22106782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahmaebe/pseuds/hannahmaebe
Summary: After his first summer as a war hero, Severus returns to Hogwarts as the Deputy Headmaster. Charged with teaching the new American Transfigurations Professor about her duties, Snape begins to understand it was not luck that saved him from death. Despite his survival, there is still danger in the Hogwarts halls and darkness still brews in the hearts of many young witches and wizards.Slow burn romance with a plot!
Relationships: Severus Snape/Original Character(s), Severus Snape/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 103
Kudos: 158





	1. To Rebuild

The damage to the Hogwarts castle and its grounds was profound and significant. Not only were entire wings in need of rebuilding, but the bridge, the courtyards, and Hagrid’s hut had sustained immense damage. Even the ancient stones riddling the grounds had been upended, some blown apart entirely. Rebuilding had taken the entire summer and was still in process. The Daily Prophet framed it as a way of healing the magical community. Severus had not helped, but then again, he had not been asked to help.

After nearly dying in the shrieking shack, it was agreed upon by the Wizengamot as well as the Minister himself that Snape had done more than enough. Beyond that, healing was slow. Despite perhaps the only good luck he had experienced his entire life, the snake bites were still quite extensive. Dumbledore, prior to his death, had insisted Severus find the antidote to Nagini’s venom after Arthur was attacked. Through some ingenuity and innovation, he had been able to replicate and improve upon it. He always kept a vial on him , though he never expected to use it on himself, and perhaps that was where his good luck ended.

Severus had been heralded a hero, even receiving an Order of Merlin. He had not attended the ceremony, but was told that many were in attendance by McGonagall. In fact, aside from healers, McGonagall was perhaps the only person he had spoken to in months.

She had offered him a generous apology as well as an equally generous offer of early retirement. He refused, feeling at a loss as to what he would do outside of being a professor, but also fearing that being out in the wizarding world at this juncture in time would be difficult with his newfound celebrity. Besides, Potter and his ilk had been allowed to graduate without attending their final year and he could essentially resume what he had done prior to Potter’s first year: teaching incompetent young wizards and witches.

He had, of course, considered the coveted position of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, but even with the curse lifted, the thought of the subject left a foul taste in his mouth. The appeal it had as a young man had faded with each death that he saw, and he had seen many.

A memorial had been put up for the lives lost in the battle of Hogwarts, as well as those lost in the war effort in general. There was talk of having a statue erected of Potter himself, but Harry thankfully rejected that offer. It was one of the few good decisions Potter had ever made, Snape thought.

With Potter well on his way to being an auror and Snape left only with a few faded scars and an award, life had moved on. His summer in St. Mungo’s and then Spinner's End had been quiet, with many books to read and well-intended letters to discard immediately. Before he could even think to question why on earth he was going back to the place that held many of his worst memories, Snape found himself apparating back to the gates of Hogwarts prior to term starting.

The gates were apparently one of the last things to be fixed, as he was greeted by the sight of Filch ordering around some wizards and witches as they levitated stones to form the archway and repaired the wall near the gate. It was purely ornamental. Though many of the magical wards had been obliterated in the attack, they were immediately recharmed and reinforced. Minerva had taken several extra precautions, only a few known to Severus, as well to protect the students. Despite Voldemort being dead, there were still many dangerous wizards about.

McGonnagall hoped that Snape’s cynicism would decrease after the war was won, but had been mistaken. He eyed the crowd warily, noting every person he recognized. Some were parents of students, even a few former students of his which he eyed particularly closely. There was also a group behind him, lead by Hagrid, who were repairing the stone building of Hogsmeade station. Snape quickly turned back to the gate, intending not to be caught in a conversation with his colleague.

Though Hagrid was not his least favorite colleague, that was reserved for whoever was in the role of Defense professor in that particular year, he certainly did not offer the most interesting of conversations and frequently reminded him of exactly why he owned so many books. He had always regarded Hagrid as being a kind, though occasionally oafish, wizard. His trust for Snape was always appreciated, but Hagrid had always liked dangerous creatures.

“Hullo Severus!” called Hagrid, stepping away from the crowd of workers and walking toward Severus.

Severus closed his eyes tightly and exhaled through his nose. He quickly turned around, his robes billowing around him and smiled tightly at his colleague.

Hagrid was, Severus had to admit, exceptionally brave, even for a Gryffindor. Between his recruitment of various magical creature, capture by death eaters, and subsequent carrying of Potter to the castle, Hagrid had saved many lives in the war. He did deserve a conversation and kind hello, though Snape did not necessarily think it should come from him.

“I hope yer summer treated you proper.” Hagrid said, clapping Snape on the back in greeting.

“As properly as can be expected.” Snape said, vaguely gesturing to his scarred neck.

“Aye, I wanted ter write yer but…” He trailed off, unsure of how to apologize for something he knew Severus wasn’t actually offended by.

“I was very busy. I didn’t even notice.” That wasn’t a complete lie. He hadn’t noticed. The only name that stuck out in his pile of letters was Potter’s and even that name had appeared less frequently as the summer months went on. However, Severus was not busy. Despite this, he had a difficult time getting rid of the feeling of urgency that had followed him for years. Like a shadow, the stress of the war had stayed with him and left him feeling rather exhausted. It likely didn’t help that he had trouble sleeping.

“I can imagine tha’. Been busy ‘ere ma’self.” He gestured around to the grounds, before he turned back to Severus. “The new Transfiguration professor has been a real help this past week. She’s around her somewhere. I’ll introduce yer.”

Snape feigned disappointment for a moment before saying “Unfortunately I have other things to attend to, such as lesson planning.” Another lie. Snape had not had to plan lessons in years, but Hagrid didn’t need to know that.

They said their goodbyes, and Severus turned back toward the castle. His eyes were drawn to the spire of the astronomy tower and a sharp pang went through his neck. He lowered his gaze and began the long walk to entrance hall, giving a slight nod to Filch as he passed.

While the year prior’s summer was a fowl, grey, distinctly British summer, the late August sun was out in full force. It was as if nature herself was taking its revenge on the dark wizards who had ruined her for the past year, and Severus’ well being was the direct consequence of that. He occasionally cursed his affinity for buttons, and this was one of those moments. Years ago, he discovered a need to keep his sleeves from riding up, prior to even taking the dark mark. After singeing more than one set of robes, Snape had custom ordered one set for every day of the week from Gladrag’s Wizardwear. The seamstress, though talented, was not quite as gifted in charms as Madam Malkin and he felt the weatherproofing charm had faded significantly over the years.

He imagined going back and ordering a new set, and perhaps a different style that would be a bit cooler so he could enjoy the remainder of this unseasonably warm summer, but quickly dismissed it. He hadn’t enjoyed a summer since he was a child. There was no reason to think that might change now. He would simply have to perform the charm on himself. In the meantime, he muttered a weak Glacius spell and felt a chill run down his body. No sense in spending money, especially if his position at Hogwarts was tenuous at best.

Despite Harry Potter immediately coming to Snape’s defense, public opinion was slow to change. Rita Skeeter had published a nonsense book about his life. He was sent a copy by Rita Skeeter herself. It was used as kindling to keep a dreamless sleep potion simmering overnight. Many parents had written the school to protest him taking up the position of Potions Professor again, especially considering his continued association with the Malfoy family. The Malfoy’s as well as Snape had been pardoned almost immediately, but long held biases were slow to change. Of that he was very aware.

Beyond being unsure of what to do besides teaching, Snape felt a need to be a guiding figure to the Slytherin students. They would need someone to look to in the new world that was emerging that did not tolerate their outdated beliefs on blood status. Many students had lost their parents on both sides. Many of them felt they had lost the war. They were misguided at best, a danger to their peers at worst. Snape knew he was needed, as the war was not over in the minds of many young Slytherins.

As he approached the entrance to the castle, Severus was struck with an intense urge to turn around and return to his dingy home by the fowl river of his childhood. There were too many bad memories in this place. It was hard to imagine another fifty years of seeing the faces of children. They were children of people he killed, or children of people who had killed. Perhaps some of them were killers themselves. 

But he pressed on, watching the giant doors open before him to the entrance hall. The ceiling had been erected again after its collapse and the giant hourglasses filled with house colors stood in front of the entrance to the great hall. He could smell the familiar scent of candles and felt the slight glimmer of tangible magic that is unmistakable in the Hogwarts halls. For some reason that comforted him.

Minerva would want to see him before he went to his rooms for the remainder of the day. He imagined she had information to pass on to him. He was appointed as Deputy Headmaster rather quietly over the summer, though she sternly reminded him not to favor his own house and told him that there would be consequences should he allow for his students to behave improperly. As if he tolerated misbehavior from any student.

He began the climb to the Headmaster’s tower, only stopping to greet the ghosts and paintings he was familiar with. It seemed even the paintings had heard about his heroics, as they kept apologizing to him profusely. For only having to climb to the second floor, the walk was exceptionally long.

McGonagall chose to continue on the tradition set forth by Dumbledore of candy-named passwords. Severus begrudgingly muttered “candyfloss” and entered the Headmistress’ office.  
Minerva sat at her desk looking over a long list of names, before looking up at him from over her spectacles. She smiled at him, which he returned tightly before she pushed the papers to the side and gestured to a chair in front of her desk.

“I would prefer to stand.” Snape said, glancing around the room. The décor had drastically changed since his abandonment of his role as headmaster. He was not able to get rid of all of the trinkets and instruments that Dumbledore had adorned the office with, instead letting Minerva do with them what she wished. In his short tenure as headmaster, he had left the office barren save for the portraits with which he communicated in secret. He had not wanted to decorate, as he thought his time as headmaster would be short. He thought his time alive would be short as well. It was admittedly nice to see some of the whirring silver instruments back, as well as a few personal touches of Minerva’s, including a portrait of her deceased husband.

“Very well. I trust your summer was sufficiently restful?” She asked, already knowing what his summer was like as she insisted on popping by every week or so. Her comments about his dark under eyes are what spurred him to brew a batch of dreamless sleep to begin with.

“I did.” He responded curtly.

“As you know, we have a few new teachers this year. As Deputy Headmaster, I’d like you to be responsible for informing them of their duties and patrol schedules. Perhaps you can let them shadow you. The new defense professor is a former student of mine, prior to your time at Hogwarts. You may have heard of him, Gawain Robards.”

Severus had. A talented auror who was notably absent during the war, but very eager to be the voice of the Auror Office after. 

“Our new transfiguration teacher is American. She may need a bit more hand holding than you would prefer.” Minerva shot him a look. “However, I expect you’ll find her a competent professor.”

This information caught Severus by surprise. Though there were people from all over Europe in attendance at Hogwarts over the years, rarely was there someone from America. Especially after the first wizarding war, immigration slowed significantly. During the second war he imagined much of the same occurred.

“Quite delightful for an American to teach at Hogwarts, isn’t it Severus?” Dumbledore said from his portrait, catching Snape off-guard.

“I have never met an American I would describe as delightful.” Snape replied.

Minerva let out a snort before replying “Well, while I would not describe Mrs. Sometimes as delightful, she is a very intelligent young woman and an excellent conjurer. I would not underestimate her.”

“I have no intention of doing anything of the sort.” Snape replied before turning toward the door. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to retire to my chambers until the meeting this evening.”

With a slight wave, McGonagall went back to making notations on her list of names.

Snape descended into the dungeons, finding his chambers mostly the same as when he left: bare save a bed, suitcase and wardrobe. It wasn’t the first time he had skipped dinner with the rest of the staff in favor of his own company, but he knew he had to join after for the staff meeting where he would have to interact with the disillusioned auror and the American.

He never liked meeting new people and thought that this would be no different. Little did he know that there was something very different about Mrs. Sometimes.


	2. To Begin Agin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucia begins her new life at Hogwarts and is introduced to Severus for the first time.

“It’s not usually this hot.” Hagrid assured Lucia for the third time that afternoon as she wiped sweat off her forehead. In fact, it seemed every person she had interacted with insisted that this summer was unseasonably warm and apologized on behalf of the entire United Kingdom. Lucia took that to mean they were grateful for her help.  
It had been a few months since she had moved here from New York City. She had arrived shortly after the war ended. The portkey took her to the ministry, wherein she was thoroughly searched along with all her luggage then interviewed for what felt like hours. She had to wait for a confirmation from the MACUSA that she was legally allowed to travel abroad. Even though she had a signed letter from Albus Dumbledore inviting her to teach at Hogwarts “at any time that is convenient, Hogwarts would be delighted”, they were still more than a little cautious to let a relative unknown into a country that had just experienced the highest level of wizard and witch casualties it had ever known, let alone the murdered muggles.

It seemed everyone was just as confused in England as her friends back home by her choosing to take up the position right after the school had been decimated by the battle. Everyone except Minerva McGonagall.

Lucia Sometimes and Minerva McGonagall, despite being very different women, shared the same sort of tense emotional depth. They immediately recognized that they both had the same reason for coming to Hogwarts in the first place.

Widows are rather excellent at recognizing other widows.

Thankfully Minerva didn’t question how she got the letter from Albus in the first place and accepted that they knew each other through MACUSA channels. Lucia had worked for The Office for Magic Relations and Education since she had graduated, working closely with schools across the world to make sure curriculum was up to date at Ilvermorny. She had met with Dumbledore a handful of times over the years and corresponded with him heavily over letter. This explanation seemed to satisfy Minerva’s wonder, but it was not the full truth. The full truth was much more complicated than that.

There were three positions open at Hogwarts: Defense Against the Dark Arts, Muggle Studies and Transfigurations. It was a pretty clear choice for Lucia. She had never been very good at defense and had never seen anything darker than a boggart when cleaning out a particularly old corner of the MACUSA basement to make room for her office. She would not characterize herself as brave, and she certainly had never been interested in dangerous things. Her mother was pure blood and her father was mostly pure, giving her little to exposure to the muggle world. Living in New York City, she had obviously been around muggles and interacted with them, and even dressed like one as was common in America, but she could not pretend that she understood or was interested in them either. She was, however, very interested in conjuring, vanishing and transforming.

One of the first things Lucia did after getting appointed as the new Transfiguration was volunteer to help repair and rebuild the school. It was partially selfish: the wing she was supposed to reside in had been destroyed and she would have to live in the dungeons until it was at least stable enough to reside in. But she also felt strongly that she had to do something. Repairing the ceiling of the entrance hall seemed like a modest start.  
Over the past few months she had found herself paired with each of the instructors who lived on castle grounds during the Summer, besides Professor Binns who, despite being a wealth of knowledge as to the history of Hogwarts, was not actually practically helpful as a ghost.  
Trelawney had essentially just gestured to things around her and told Lucia to beware of the trophy room. Lucia had been excited to meet Trelawney, as she had heard of the prophecies she had made regarding Harry Potter and he who shall not be named. Unfortunately, it seemed Sybil was incidentally psychic and not particularly good at interpreting the things she saw outside of the trances she fell into. It was unfortunate. Lucia would have liked to connect with someone else who could see the future like she could.  
Flitwick had been her first introduction. He informed her of the standard protection spells as well as charms that she might find around the castle that she should be wary of. She quickly learned that just because something had been blasted into pieces didn’t mean that all the previous spells weren’t active. Some of the more protective structures were easier to destroy than they were to repair, and what should have been a fast process ended up taking a full day sometimes. He was delighted to find out that she was a classically trained vocalist and invited her to help with the frog choir if she wished. Lucia thought the frog choir was a rather unfortunate name, but agreed none the less.

Hagrid, naturally, had become her favorite. His childlike interest in creatures reminded her of her husband, Ryan. That was the end of their similarities, but it was enough to give her some comfort. It was he who oversaw finishing the outer wall and gate as well as Hogsmeade station prior to student’s arrival.

The entire last 50 feet of the train tracks had been blasted off their path, likely by a particularly powerful reducto. Lucia reached out with her magic and felt around to see if there were any spells put on the lines that might make moving them back more complicated than a quick flick of the wand.

It seemed that whenever the tracks were laid, that person had used various protective wards and shields to prevent it from being shifted accidentally. This was likely done to the entire line to ensure the safe arrival of students. Unfortunately, that meant the gentle nudge of magic she could use to lift a rock or raise a ceiling was not going to work for this specific task.

After 6 hours of meticulous push and pull with the protective charms, Lucia had managed to not only exhaust herself, but also lay a functional train track. It was still a few hours before dinner, but she hoped Hagrid wouldn’t notice her disappearing for a shower and nap. Her curly brown hair had frizzed out in the heat and her bangs were sticking to her forehead. Her clothes were dirty, and she didn’t want to meet the rest of her colleagues dressed in muggle clothes.

Lucia slipped past Hagrid while he was immersed in conversation with someone she couldn’t see and began heading for the castle. It would have been a quicker walk if Lucia had remembered to go right at the lake instead of left, but instead of passing the greenhouses and the whomping willow, she found herself passing the quidditch pitch before making it back into the castle. She would not have time for a nap after all.

The first thing Lucia did after her office and attached quarters were repaired was decorate. She was always told by her mother that the décor of a home reflected those that occupied it. 

Her mother specifically told her that when Lucia was a teenager and had a large poster of David Bowie in Labyrinth taped to the ceiling above her bed. Lucia, at the time, took that to mean that she had excellent taste in men.

She kept her office space relatively simple. The bookcase provided by the school as well as the desk, but with various transfigured objects, some cages of birds, and a few paintings that Lucia was assured were very quiet.

Her quarters were much more personalized. She immediately transfigured her bed sheets to be a dark shade of purple, giving the pillows a silver trim. Her piano from back in America was too large to easily transport from America, but she was able to procure one in Hogsmeade that had a lovely cedar finish. All the wood furniture was transfigured to match it, including the picture frames and door. She had a large window overlooking the lake, which she promptly covered in dark grey curtains that blocked out any and all light. Her nightstand, already littered with books, prominently featured a picture from Ryan and her wedding.

She glanced at it fondly as she opened her closet and pulled out the stuffy robes that she was expected to wear as a professor. They were married when she was 21, a typical age for couples. Ryan didn’t like to think they were typical though, and neither did Lucia.

Instead of a ceremony with family in friends, Lucia wore her favorite dress and they eloped in Savannah, Georgia. Lucia insisted on the city because, as she argued to her then fiancé, “They have a lot of Spanish moss and graveyards in the middle of the city. It will be beautiful!” Surprisingly, none of their family friends were surprised or angry. They had all expected Lucia and Ryan to get married in a fashion that was out of the ordinary and getting married in an actual graveyard seemed right up their alley.

Even in America, Lucia was considered to be a bit of an odd duck. She pierced her own nose in the dormitories at Ilvermorny when she was 16, insisting her best friend do it with her. After turning 18 she started a small collection of tattoos, covering most of her arms with various images, both meaningful and meaningless. Her hair had been more colors than she could remember, including a pink mohawk at one point. Being a part of the MACUSA had tempered her style but not entirely gotten rid of it. While she had to dress like a professional every day, she still managed to keep her nose piercing and occasionally throw in a leather pencil skirt or a slightly too sheer blouse.

None of that would be acceptable here, she thought grudgingly as she donned her stiff dress, oversized robe and practical boots. Self-expression was going to have to be reserved for weekends and summer break.

Lucia exited her quarters, heading toward the great hall where there was a room attached that served as a meeting area and teachers’ lounge for larger groups.

Much of the staff had already arrived, including Aurora Sinistra whom Lucia had taken to drinking a glass of wine with every now and then over the course of the summer. She sat down next to Aurora, giving her a nod of greeting and smiled politely at everyone else at the table.

McGonagall sat at the head of the table and to the right of her was the only remaining seat. Lucia sat in anticipation, knowing very well who that seat belonged to. Right before the clock struck 7 and the meeting was set to start, a tall figure donned in black robes with equally black hair and eyes entered the room. His eyes scanned the table, passing over Lucia before landing on his empty seat. He took it gingerly, seeming to float down onto it. It would have been entrancing if he didn’t have such a foul expression on his face.

“Headmistress.” He greeted formally and unrolled a sheet of parchment and quill to take notes with.

“Hello, I’d like to welcome you all to a very significant year at Hogwarts. I’m sure you need no reminding of what happened last year, but as you know, even though we have been able to repair most of the damage done to the castle, our work has not even begun on repairing the damage done to our students.” Minerva began.

“I have compiled a list for each one of you of students that I believe may have been affected particularly negatively.” She said as she began distributing a long parchment that had names with notes scribbled next to them. “Perhaps they lost a parent or dear friend, maybe they were direct witnesses to the attack, perhaps they went into hiding, their parents may have been arrested after the war. It’s safe to assume every single last one of your students has come into this year with trauma, but these may need more help than others.”

Lucia glanced down at the list. Easily 200 names were there, many under the age of 15. She felt here eyes start to well with tears but tried to hold them back. There was nothing she could have done to help them at the time, but she hoped she could help them now.

Lucia looked up and saw professor Snape had not even unrolled his parchment. Instead he was looking at the door with what she could only approximate to impatient longing.

Minerva began speaking again. “I know we have some new staff this year that need introduction, but first I would like to take a moment to let anyone speak about the late Charity Burbage.”

A handful of teachers rose and spoke of her dedication and passion, her belief in equality and her kindness to her students as well as the staff. Professors Snape’s expression grew progressively grimmer, and she noticed he chose not to speak.

“Lucia, would you like to say a few words about yourself?” Minerva asked after everyone had said what they wished to say about Charity.

Lucia stood up and pulled awkwardly at her too-long and too-loose sleeves. She never liked talking about herself, especially when she didn’t have personal information, she would prefer to keep personal. “Hello, my name is Lucia Sometimes. I’m obviously very American.” This earned a chuckle from at least one of her colleagues. “I’ve worked in education in one capacity or another for about 9 years now, since I graduated from Ilvermorny. Though I’ve never taught Transfigurations, I was a vocal coach for about 5 years while I was still performing. I sing opera, play piano, and have definitely placed silencing charms on my quarters so don’t worry about that.” That earned another chuckle. “I’m very happy to be at Hogwarts, even though this is a difficult time. I hope I can prove myself worthy of this excellent institution.”

McGonagall nodded her approval and then turned to Gawain Robards, a middle-aged looking man with a receding hairline and what looked to be at least one prosthetic finger. “I’m not nearly as interesting as Miss. Sometimes here.” Gawain started, but was interrupted by Minerva.

“Mrs. Sometimes.” She glanced at Lucia meaningfully.

Gawain started again. “Mrs. Sometimes. I am Gawain Robards. I’ve been an auror for the past 20 years,” Severus scoffed from across the table “And I’m pleased to be able to pass on my knowledge of Defense to a new generation of aurors.” He sat down, his face flushed with displeasure at being both corrected and mocked.

McGonagall began speaking again “We have not been able to find a replacement Muggle Studies professor and I have decided that instead of forcing the subject, perhaps it is best that this year we do not offer the class and resume when we find an appropriate and willing candidate. I think there will be significant changes to the course content, as well as possibly making at least one term of it mandatory for all students.”

The rest of the meeting was discussions of scheduling, requests for lesson plans, and small side conversations about possible events throughout the year. Flitwick and Sprout had been working on a memorial event in the courtyard in front of the newly erected statue that would honor the fallen. Lucia had been asked to sing but refused. She found it very difficult to sing at memorials and didn’t feel it would be appropriate since she was not involved in the battle.

At the end of the meeting McGonagall pulled Lucia to the side and asked her if she would like to be sorted into a house. Lucia had been a Horned Serpent at Ilvermorny and strongly suspected her house at Hogwarts would be Ravenclaw, but was surprised when the hat had, after a moment of consideration, yelled out “Slytherin!”

Minerva looked at her quizzically before gesturing for Severus to come speak with them. “Severus, as Deputy Headmaster you may find it helpful to have another professor watching over your house this year. Would you like to discuss with Lucia your patrol schedules along with her other duties on the way back to her office?”

Severus looked as if something particularly malodorous had been placed directly under his nose. “I suppose I could help Mrs. Sometimes learn the simplest duties of a Hogwarts professor.”

Lucia inhaled sharply, knowing well enough that holding her tongue was more important than giving him the verbal lashing she preferred. “Why thank you for that kind offer.” And with that she spun around and started walking as quickly as possible toward the door, not checking to make sure he was following.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucia has some secrets, what could they be?  
> Severus doesn't seem to thrilled to meet her.


	3. To Save a Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucia and Snape have an interesting interaction and we learn more about Lucia's past.

Severus watched Lucia Sometimes storm out of the room with a detached expression. If anything, the action further proved to him that the woman was exactly what he thought she was: a fairly stupid American who couldn’t handle criticism.

McGonagall shot him a look of disappointment, before raising an eyebrow at him and gesturing toward the door. Despite Lucia’s clear dislike for him at this point, he was not off the hook for escorting her back to her quarters. “Here is the schedule for patrols. I suggest you apologize immediately.” She handed him a roll of parchment which he tucked into his robes. “It may also be prudent to show her the Slytherin dormitories.” She added.

Severus started after Lucia, his long stride catching up with her easily. She couldn’t have been much more than 5 feet tall, probably a full foot shorter than him. Her dress seemed to restrict her as she stomped through the great hall.

She wore a knee length royal blue dress with black trim around the hem and high neckline. Her robe was the typical black with loose sleeves. It looked like it had hardly been worn and he suspected, as she was American, that she hadn’t worn it prior to moving to England. He glanced at her hands, trying to spot an engagement or wedding ring. Instead of a ring she had a tattoo of a gordian knot. He remembered that the Horned Serpent crest was in the shape of a knot and wondered if it was one in the same. It was unusual to have a tattoo instead of a ring, but he was slowly beginning to realize this woman was not very usual at all.

“Decided to be helpful then?” Lucia asked as he started walking next to her. “I hate to be so terribly inconvenient.” She didn’t look at him, choosing to speed up her stride.

“I can’t imagine you will be able to guess the schedule and route on your own, which would be even more inconvenient.” Lucia let out a snort of laughter and glanced over at him, a smirk on her lips.  
“Wouldn’t want to inconvenience you at all, would I?” She picked up the pace once again, her short legs straining at the thick fabric of her skirt.

Severus thought for a moment that it was amusing to see this young woman annoyed at him. Something about her small frame and expression reminded him of a cat being held too tightly by its owner.  
“Since you will be helping me with the Slytherin students, perhaps a tour of the dungeons is in order?” Snape proposed, knowing it would have to be done at some point.

Lucia let out another snort, something Severus found to be highly unfeminine for an otherwise delicate woman. “What on earth could be so funny to make that noise come out of your nose?” He asked.

“The last time someone asked me that, it was a very different kind of dungeon.” She glanced at him again and the damn smirk reappeared.

Severus stopped walking beside her for a moment and let his brow furrow, before picking up his pace yet again to catch up.

“So Slytherin house is rather infamous,” Lucia started, “Primarily for its dark wizards and ruthless members. I’d like to think, since I am now an honorary member of the house, that there are other more admirable traits.”  
“Slytherins make excellent leaders because of their ambition, are often shrewd and cunning, can be determined and resourceful in difficult situations, value fraternity and lineage and often display a knack for self-preservation.” It was a rehearsed response, but true nonetheless.

“And what did the sorting hat see in you those many, many years ago?”

Snape knew she was trying to goad him regarding his age. She appeared to be in her mid twenties, maybe a bit older but certainly not as old as him. “My cunning I imagine, as well as determination.”

“Well it certainly wasn’t fraternity.” Lucia scoffed, not offering up her own reasons for being selected.

“Why did the sorting hat place you in Slytherin?” Severus probed, knowing she didn’t want to answer.

“It was self-preservation.” An unexpected answer, but Severus assessed it to be the truth.

“It’s very unusual for an American to come here to teach, especially after the war.” Severus commented.

Lucia was silent in response, ascending the stairs into the dungeons carefully in her heeled boots.

“One might think you’re running away from something.”

Lucia stayed quiet as she reached the bottom of the stairway.

“Perhaps a husband? You wouldn’t be living in the castle if he came with you.” He sneered, knowing he was touching a sore subject. “Tell me Mrs. Sometimes, how did he react when he found you with another man?”

“He died.” She replied quickly, looking back at him and waiting for him to lead the way to the common room. “It isn’t a long story, he got hit by a car in the city. I wasn’t with him to help him. He died as soon as it hit him.”

It wasn’t the response he expected. The fire he had seen behind her expression earlier was gone, replaced by a sad smile.

Severus thought for a moment about apologizing, but instead walked in front of her and toward a bare stone wall. “Unforgiveable” he projected, making sure she heard the password.

The stone wall opened, leading to a dark common room adorned with various shades of green. There were windows that showed the depths of the black lake, which was truly black at this time of night.

“This is where the students live. To your right is the girl’s dormitory. To the left is the boy’s dormitory. We do not allow the boys to go into the girl’s rooms.” Snape explained.

“Well that seems idiotic.” Lucia stated.

Snape looked at her perplexed.

“I don’t know if you don’t think teenage girls have sex drives, but they do. I was a terror. I’m surprised I never got pregnant.” Lucia smiled to herself.

Snape looked at her as if she had sprouted a new head.

“That’s probably not very professional to say, but you implied I cheated on my dead husband so frankly I don’t give a shit.” She shot him a smile that looked more like a snarl and started walking up the stairs to the dormitories.

Each bed had green velvet curtains shrouding them. The walls were covered in a silver floral wallpaper that, if you looked closely, had snakes slithering around the flowers. Each bedframe was carved wood with ornate designs. There had been many generous donations to the house over the years that had made the students especially comfortable.

“Oh for Merlin’s sake!” Lucia cried as she picked up a silver pillow. “I have a feeling your students are absolute brats.”

Snape was half inclined to say something along the lines of ‘if that is the case, you’ll find yourself in good company,’ but held his tongue instead, watching her look around the room.

“Is it normal that there are so many students in one room?”

“Yes, we don’t give preferential treatment, even to the richest families.”

“We had private rooms in Horned Serpent. I think they knew we were a bunch of social recluses. If I had a roommate, I’m sure I would have driven us both insane. Even my husband got sick of me singing the same line of a song over and over again, and apparently he enjoyed my voice.”

Severus had the distinct impression that she was mostly talking to herself at this point, so he let her continue uninterrupted.

“I suppose if fraternity is a value that is important to Slytherin, shared rooms make sense. It never made sense to me that Wampus students shared a dorm. Those idiots only know how to talk with their wands, if you know what I mean.”

Snape did know what she meant and once again held his tongue.

“Anyway, I believe McGonagall mentioned something about patrol schedules?” It wasn’t a statement as much as a question. He could tell she was getting bored of him since he stopped mocking her openly after she told him about her husband’s death.

Severus pulled out the parchment from his robe and unrolled it, scanning it for her name. He let out an audible sigh and said “It looks like you and I are going to be doing patrols at the same time. Monday, Wednesday and Saturday starting at curfew and going until 1 am.”

“Saturday night? God damnit!” Lucia huffed.  
“Do you have something better to do with your precious time?”

“Wine, mostly.” She smirked at him.

“As a teacher, it is highly inappropriate that you be drunk while in the castle.”

“I think you will find me highly inappropriate in a number of regards.” She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

In truth, she had pegged him as a man with limited experience and was enjoying making him uncomfortable just as he seemed to enjoy making her angry. She had no intention of actually seducing the man, just making him squirm a bit. It had been quite a few years since she had been given the opportunity to flex that particular muscle, and she missed it.

Lucia had met her husband Ryan when her grandmother was in the hospital when she was eighteen. He was a healer there and she, as she later mentioned in their wedding vows “grief fucked” him. She initially thought he was just another pretty face and might be a bit of fun, but after a couple months of “just a bit of fun” they ended up moving in together. Two years later he proposed without a ring. Lucia requested him not get one because she wanted the perfect design. When they got married, Lucia still hadn’t decided on a ring she loved, citing a strong opinion that most engagement rings are terrible and a wedding band seemed too boring. Instead they got a tattoo representing their respective houses. Her knot to his Pukwudgie Arrow. She touched her left ring finger fondly, remembering how fun it was to tease him. They had only been married for two years when he died, and she had never found a ring she liked.

Ryan was incredibly annoying. If he wasn’t mocking her, he was bothering her one way or another. If she was reading a book he would intentionally cast a spell to scramble the letters. Whenever she made a bad joke he would make fun of her mercilessly, possibly even for years. He would often cast a levicorpus as she was playing the piano, causing her to float up to the rafters of their apartment. She loved it when he did those things, even if sometimes she wasn’t totally in the mood for it.

Severus noticed a shift in her mood and started heading toward the door back to the common room, eager for the unpleasant and odd interaction to end.

He hadn’t meant to be insensitive about her husband earlier. He genuinely suspected that she had left him, perhaps for another man, and been ostracized by her community enough to want a total change of scenery. Knowing what he did now, it made sense for her to want to leave America. After Lily’s death, the last thing he wanted to do was be back in Cokeworth where he had seen her for the first time. The happy memories he had of them felt like cold knives for years after she passed, and they still hurt if he let them.

This new information did not fully assuage his cynicism, however. It may have made sense that she came to England, but her getting a position at Hogwarts with no connection to the school was highly unusual. As far as he knew, McGonagall had never met the woman before. Certainly, Dumbledore had never mentioned her, and his portrait had seemed surprised by the news of an American coming to teach at the school.

“Well I suppose I best go back to lesson planning, though I’ll probably end up playing piano instead.” Lucia said, noticing him clearly wanting to leave the dorm rooms. “I would invite you for wine, but that would be ‘highly inappropriate.’” She tried her best at a British accent.

Severus thought her attempt sounded more like an Australian with a head cold, but it amused him nonetheless. “That would be entirely dependent on the year.” He lobbed back.

“Oh, it’s a fine vintage. The cardboard box it comes in adds a nice flavor.” She winked at him.

After they exited the common room, Severus went back to his quarters and Lucia climbed the stairs to the second floor.

It struck Lucia that their interaction had rapidly cycled between playful and painful digs at each other, with the occasional flirtation. She thought that, perhaps if she were a different person, she would have found him to be repugnant and unpleasant. But she was often seen as somewhat repugnant and unpleasant, as well as “highly inappropriate,” so their conversation had yet to convince her that he was the foul git that Rita Skeeter’s book had portrayed him to be.

Of course she had read the book. The title was too tempting to pass up on. Snape: Scoundrel or Saint? What a fucking title.

There was also a certain morbid curiosity. Literally morbid. Lucia had, after all, seen him die in one of her visions.

Over the years Lucia had seen many people die, all from the comfort of her own bed. When she was a child her parents told her that the dreams were just nightmares and not to worry about them. Her grandmother on her father’s side, a half-blood witch from Italy, seemed to think otherwise. She insisted that on the muggle side of her family, the women tended to see visions of people dying. It wasn’t until she was 6 years old that she recognized one of the people in her dreams.

It was a hot summer night in July and Lucia had woken up, like she always did when she had these dreams, freezing cold and shivering. She had seen a couple die in her dream. The man was hit with a blast of green light in the hallway outside of a nursery, then the woman, sobbing over her infant son, was killed too.

It didn’t feel particularly profound or important. She had seen dozens of people die in her dreams, some violent and some not. She preferred it when they died in a hospital or in their sleep, but she had seen men suspended upside down and gutted by magic, women being choked by their husbands, and children climbing onto a broom unsupervised and breaking their necks. The St. Mungo’s healers said she had an overactive imagination. She had, after all, seen both her mother and father fade from Vanishing Sickness slowly over the years. They attributed her visions to the trauma of seeing her parents disappear limb by limb.

It wasn’t until months later, in November, when she saw her grandmother reading the newspaper that she realized they were real people.

“Nonna! Nonna, I know them! I saw them. I saw them die.” She pointed at the front page. The headline read “Dark Lord Defeated: The Boy Who Lived!” And showed a couple holding a small child and waving.

Her grandmother had at that point told her about her own muggle mother who could see how people died. She tried to encourage Lucia to focus in on her ability, explaining that her mother had been able to save lives. Lucia had, instead, started to take a dreamless sleep potion nightly as soon as she started attending Ilvermorny, hoping to get rid of the dreams she was having.

She had taken the potion every night for years. Her husband was a talented healer, and therefore was able to make the potion for her any time she needed it. She had told him about her terrible nightmares, but not about the nightmares coming true.

When Ryan was killed by a drunk driver, Lucia immediately thought that if she had accepted her visions and not repressed them, she may have been able to save him. Maybe she would have not let him go walk alone at night on New Years, or perhaps she would have gone with him and saved his life. Either way, she stopped taking the potion.

The dreams started up again immediately. None recognizable or rescuable, but all a bitter reminder of her failure as a wife. None until Dumbledore, that is.

She had met Dumbledore a handful of times in her time with the congress, often in passing. He didn’t come to the United States often, but when he did it was often for a meeting she was invited to. He was also a very famous wizard, even in America, and most any witch or wizard that had cracked a textbook would recognize him. Her only conversation with him had been about his exceptional transfiguration skills and his tenure at Hogwarts.

When she saw him fall from the Astronomy tower after being blasted with the killing curse by a man with black hair and black robes, Lucia immediately sent an international owl to him requesting an audience. 

Instead of asking her to travel to Scotland to see him, Dumbledore arranged a port key for himself and met her in her apartment in New York. The conversation lasted for hours. He wanted every detail of what happened. The blonde boy, the man with black hair and eyes taking his wand, the killing curse, Dumbledore himself falling off the tower. She begged him to find the man who would kill him and be careful. Dumbledore assured her that there was nothing she could do and that, if what he suspected was true, his death would be necessary. He refused to explain further and returned to Hogwarts with one simple request: for Lucia to inform him about every death that she dreamt about, even if it seemed unimportant.

This went on for months. Every week or so she would have a dream and immediately write it down and send it to Dumbledore, hidden with documents pertaining to MACUSA educational material. She was almost desensitized to it, that is until she recognized another person.

The man who killed Dumbledore, the man with the black hair. He was being bitten by a snake, brutally attacked and murdered, in a rundown shack. Instead of owling, Lucia took a portkey to London under the guise of MACUSA business and immediately visited Dumbledore at Hogwarts. It was the summer of 1995, just months after Harry Potter had claimed that He Who Shall Not Be Named was back. Lucia had immediately known it to be true. The deaths she saw in her dreams had begun to turn violent and dark, with flashes of green light and black robes and masks behind wands. She saw a mass murderer fall through a veil into shadow, a purple haired woman getting blasted with a killing curse, her body being held by a man in tattered robes, and then that exact same man dying, and a young red haired man getting caught in an explosion by the gates of Hogwarts.

He listened to her story about the man bleeding out in the shack, gifting a memory to a boy she recognized as an older Harry Potter, and the man asking to look at Harry’s eyes. After she finished the story, she noticed a tear creeping at the edge of Dumbledore’s eyes.

“Isn’t this a good thing?” She asked. “The man who killed you dies.”

“No Lucia. It’s not a good thing.” She looked at him confused. “He is a good man Lucia. Thank you for telling me. You may have saved a life today after all.”

She went back to America in a state of confusion, feeling like she hadn’t helped at all. That man wasn’t worth saving. Were any of the visions she had any use to him at all?

In June, months after the meeting with Dumbledore, Lucia grabbed her newspaper off the doorstep of her 5-story walkup apartment. The front page was titled “He Who Shall Not Be Named Returns!” The article detailed the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, Cornelius Fudge’s resignation as minister, the infamous Malfoy family being exposed as death eaters, and finally the exoneration of Sirius Black.

Folded up below the paragraph about Sirius Black’s innocence and participation in the battle was a note with three simple words: “You saved him.”

Lucia cried that night. It was the first time she had cried since her husband had died. An innocent man was able to live in freedom because she had told Dumbledore about her visions.

Perhaps in another woman, this news would lessen her guilt, but it only grew for Lucia. After Dumbledore’s death, Lucia had shut down entirely. Her work gave her a leave of absence, assuming that her grief for her husband had, for whatever reason, returned with a vengeance.

In many ways it had. She didn’t want to admit it, but when Sirius had lived, she was angry. Angry with herself even more for being able to do something and choosing not to. Angry with Dumbledore for not telling her that he was using her information for something. Angry with the god she never believed in.

Lucia looked around her quarters, taking in the meager pieces of her life she had brought with her. Her small, empty life seemed even smaller and emptier outside of the apartment she had shared with Ryan. She thought that she may never stop grieving. If Snape was any indication, she would spend her entire life as the rotten, bitter woman she felt herself turning into.

She opened her nightstand and fingered the bottle of purple liquid. Since the war ended, the dreams were not as bad. Lots of deaths in hospitals, some in Azkaban, no one she knew and no place she recognized. She closed the drawer. She could live with knowing death. It was something she had known for almost her whole life. Perhaps it was time she accepted it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nonna is grandmother in Italian.
> 
> Lucia has a long and complicated story. I wanted to present it over a few chapters as opposed to just information dumping it all on you immediately. Hopefully this was a decent way of finding out her role in the war.
> 
> How do you think Snape will feel when he finds out?


	4. To Be Lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucia gets a new cat and Severus is mostly unimpressed.

There weren’t very many noises inside the halls of Hogwarts that Severus hadn’t heard, which was saying something since the corridors were usually filled with any number of unusual sounds. Between Peeves the poltergeist, students pulling pranks, potions going catastrophically wrong in any number of ways, and a menagerie of creatures brought into the school, it took quite a lot for Snape to take pause and listen thoughtfully.

It was still well before term started and Severus was on his way to the hospital wing on the first floor to deliver a few batches of potions to Madam Pomfrey. There was what sounded like singing coming from down the hall. Snape had heard mermaids down in the dungeons, but they were muffled even in his private chambers. There were no students and as far as he was aware, none of the other professors sang besides Flitwick.

He followed the sound until he reached the cracked door to classroom number 1, the transfigurations room. After a moment he vaguely remembered Lucia mentioning that she was a singer, though he admittedly was not paying attention during her introduction to the rest of the staff. He had wanted very badly to go back to his potions lab wherein he had multiple sensitive projects under a stasis spell.

Severus lingered outside the classroom door, listening to her voice above what sounded like a guitar in the background. He recognized the song. It was one Lily had played for him more than once when they were teenagers, though it was not one of his favorites. Pink Floyd was the only band he willingly listened too, though he had a secret fondness of David Bowie.

“Your beauty is beyond compare  
With flaming locks of auburn hair  
And ivory skin with eyes of emerald green.

Your smile is like a breath of spring  
Your voice is soft like summer rain  
And i cannot compete with you, Jolene.”

He had always thought this song had described Lily perfectly, though her hair was more of a copper than auburn. An image flashed across his memory of them sitting in his bedroom. She had brought her record player over and they had listened to this song. He made a comment about how annoying the voice of the singer sounded and Lily admonished him for being too critical, all while smiling her dazzling smile at him.

He was taken out of his thoughts when the lyrics of the song shifted from what he recognized as the chorus to some strange bastardization.

“Nuit, Nuit, Nuit, Nuit  
You’re such a pretty little girl, Nuit  
Nuit, Nuit, Nuit, Nuit  
I will snuggle you all night long, Nuit.”

Severus must have made a noise because Lucia paused in her singing and called out “I know you’re out there Severus. Come meet my kitty!”

He let out an audible groan before entering the classroom.

It was clear that she had been hard at work setting it up for next week. There were only a handful of days until term started and she had three separate classrooms to make her own. They were segregated by year, with the first and second years in one classroom, third through fifth in another, and finally the sixth and seven in the largest classroom. She was currently working on getting her first year classroom set up with various objects for students to practice switching spells on, matches, cages of mice and rabbits, and of course the unfortunate beetles that would soon become buttons.

Lucia herself was standing in front of a guitar that was apparently charmed to play in accompaniment with her, as it was still strumming along to the melody that she hummed as he walked into the room. She was holding a slightly overweight black cat over her head, gazing at it with affection. The cat looked less than impressed with the situation, but was not attempting to leave her arms.

He first noticed her outfit: a loud pair of high waisted red pants with wide bell bottom legs, something that was probably trendy when he was in elementary school and a cream colored camisole. He hadn’t seen her arms bare before, and never knew that they were covered in tattoos. Her right arm was covered in purple and coral roses. He thought he saw a black snake slithering between the flowers, but he couldn’t be sure without looking forward. On her left shoulder she had a small crown, almost like a children’s book illustration, with a series of dates right below it. Her forearm was covered with a sprig of Lavender with the number 13 scrawled across it in typewriter font.

Severus had never cared much for tattoos. They usually indicate a lack of responsibility, or, in his case, a less than savory past. For whatever reason he did not think either was the case with Mrs. Sometimes. She was odd in many ways, and this seemed to fit the bill for her somewhat unbillable personality.

Lucia looked at him with a broad smile, bringing the cat to her chest. “I just got her. I figured I could use a companion. Her name is Nuit.”

“As in the french word for the night sky?” He asked, knowing that to be the case.

“Yes, I figured when in Europe I should do what every single self respecting witch and wizard family does: give their child some cliche latinate or romantic name.”

“In case you are unaware, Lucia is romantic.”

She scoffed in response, “My father chose that name. The meaning of it is purely coincidental. It was the only Italian thing he was allowed to pass on to me. My mother did not want me to get his obnoxious Italian New Yorker accent.”

“That’s probably for the best, because then your voice would match your personality.”

“At least my name doesn’t translate to severe. That’s just too on the nose.” Lucia smirked at him, placing Nuit on the ground before crossing her arms in front of her chest. “You know, I read that Rita Skeeter book.”

Severus let out a noise of disgust and wrinkled his nose in response. The noise caught the attention of the feline and she approached him, using his leg as a scratching post before laying down on his feet.

Lucia smiled brightly and clasped her hands in front of her chest. “Oh my goodness, if only I had my camera. What would that horrible woman say if she could see you now. Oh I know! ‘Surly Severus Something or Rather Snape Cuddles Cute Cat’.”

“Idris.” Severus threw out blandly.

“What?”

“My middle name. Idris. It means prince.”

Lucia nodded in recognition, immediately remembering his mother’s maiden name. “I don’t think I’ve heard that name before. It’s very unusual.” She smiled again, enjoying him sharing pieces of information about himself.

She had always prided herself on being an honest person, sharing most of her thoughts and feelings out of sheer inability to do anything but that. Her husband always jokes that she only had strong opinions. It felt unusual for her to have secrets, especially such a large one like the fact that Lucia had helped to save his life. She wanted very much to know at least one person who she had helped, even if he could sometimes be rather unpleasant. It was unfortunate that he could not know her in that same way.

“What about you, Mrs. Sometimes.”

“I’d prefer it if you called me Lucia.” She said, while turning around to resume levitating books onto her bookshelf.

“That didn’t answer my question.”

Lucia closed her eyes tightly, knowing her answer would, at the very least, bring up bad memories for him. She turned around slowly and smiled sadly at him. 

“Liliana.”

Severus took a moment to look back at her. Was she joking? She had read the book, and he knew for a fact that Rita Skeeter had brought up his love for Lily Potter many times in it. Perhaps this was Lucia’s poor version of teasing. Or perhaps she’s just cruel. He wouldn’t put it past her. She had no reason to be kind to him.

Lucia opened her mouth to speak, but before she could say anything, Severus interrupted her.

“I must be on my way, Mrs. Sometimes.”

He spun around and quickly left the office, but not before he heard her call out “It’s Lucia!”

There was a note of sadness in her voice, but not enough for Severus to want to stay. He did, after all, have potions to deliver to Poppy as well as a variety of potions ingredients to pick up from Pomona.

Lucia sighed and picked up Nuit again. She had been rather lonely since coming to Hogwarts. A few of her friends had written her since moving as well as her in laws, but they were busy and couldn’t make up for the lack of company.

She hoped that would change once the school year started. At Congress back in New York, Lucia had been constantly surrounded by people. Her job involved lots of meetings with administrators, researchers, writers and the occasional student. She often lamented her lack of alone time, but secretly knew it was the only thing keeping her sane.

After she had been informed that Sirius had lived, Lucia had turned into somewhat of a social recluse. She moved out of her two bedroom apartment in Greenwich Village that she had shared with Ryan and opted to leave Manhattan island entirely, settling in Brooklyn. Brooklyn was still considered one of the least safe neighborhoods, but in some ways it felt quieter. She felt, most of all, that there were less expectations of her. She slowly fell in love with the small city outside of the city, and even after she returned to work, Lucia had opted to stay in Brooklyn after all.

Since coming to Hogwarts, most of her work day had been spent alone in her office and chambers that, while still somewhat decorated, didn’t have the same feeling as her brick walled garden level studio near the subway station.

It was this loneliness that had spurred Lucia to go to Hogsmeade village over the weekend, thinking there might be some cute shops to visit as well as a bar she could grab a drink at. Her first stop was Gladrags, hoping they had robes that were moderately more comfortable than those she purchased in America. She hoped her colleagues had not noticed or cared about her walking around in what they likely thought of as muggle clothes, but McGonnagal didn’t seem to mind so she continues. After picking up a navy blue set of robes that reminded her of her house colors at Ilvermorny, Lucia stopped into The Three Broomsticks.

Lucia couldn’t say that she didn’t love a glass of wine, but she usually tried to limit herself to a single glass of wine. When she found herself four glasses deep into the evening, she could only blame Madam Rosmerta’s strikingly beautiful face. Lucia had always prefered older men, with Ryan being 6 years her senior when they met, and the same was true for women.

She got the distinct impression that Rosmerta was perhaps more amused than interested in Lucia’s antics, but that didn’t make the interaction any less delightful.

Just when Lucia thought her evening was over, Hagrid walked into the pub with a metal cage of what looked like cats.

“I think these be what was troublin’ ya.” Hagrid said, placing the cage on the counter.

“Cats? Cats were getting into my cellar and eating my foodstock?” Rosmerta cried, a look of shock and annoyance on her face.

“Aye, though by the looks of it, it was mostly this one.” He pointed to an especially chubby one.

Lucia reached out and stuck a finger in between the metal of the cage. There were four of them, 2 of them were tabbies with green eyes, one was mostly black with large swatches of white across its chest and paws, and the last was a somewhat overweight black cat with green eyes that were gazing back at Lucia.

It may have been the wine, or perhaps she just really was that lonely, but Lucia decided at that very moment that she wanted, no she needed, that cat. 

“I’m going to make you so fat!” She exclaimed, allowing the black cat to rub her face on her finger.

Rosmerta looked at her with an amused expression before saying “Well, whatever gets it out of my storeroom.”

Hagrid carefully placed the cat in Lucia’s arms, telling her he’d stop by with some food later. He also explained that the other three would be delivered to Diagon Alley shortly, where the pet shop owner would be happy to take them, as they were half kneazles.

Lucia walked back to the castle, thoughtfully stroking the cat in her arms. She was a little tipsy still and somewhat shocked that she not only had a cat, but had also said the words ‘I’m going to make you so fat’ in front of a fellow teacher. Though she supposed if anyone understood the sentiment, it would be Hagrid.

She hoped that this would assuage some of the feelings she’d been having over the past weeks. It often felt like a stupid mistake, coming to Scotland. It didn’t help that most of her interactions with Severus Snape had been rather unpleasant.

That first conversation in the dungeon has put them on a strange footing, but one she didn’t mind. She wasn’t sure if he liked her, but she entertained him, and she often found that if she entertained people, eventually they’d like her. Other professors, like professor Binns and Trelawney, did not seem to be amused by her even remotely and treated her with a professional apathy.

But ever since then, he had been rather cold and distant. The only conversation they had managed to have since then was when she was going over her curriculum with McGonagall and Snape earlier that week.

“Mrs. Sometimes, I can’t imagine giving students the option of turning into an animagus while they are still students.” Severus had exclaimed, putting the parchment containing her plans for her seventh year students. “Do you have any idea how inconvenient it would be to have even more creatures roaming these halls?”

“I can assure you that most would be unable to complete the transformation, either because the spell is too difficult or because they can’t tolerate having the mandrake root in their mouth for a month.” Lucia argued back.

“The potion is highly advanced.” McGonagall commented.

“Which is why I invited Severus here for this meeting. I am fully capable of instructing students about the potion, but would need use of his labs and ingredients.” Lucia assured her.

“And what if something goes wrong during the transformation? Merlin knows that even the seventh years are a bunch of blithering idiots.” Snape shot back.

“Then they will be under strict observation by an experienced animagus.” Lucia countered.

Snape looked at her with a cynical expression. “You cannot expect Minerva to take time away from her duties as headmistress to help a first year teacher.”

“She was not the experienced animagus I was referring to.” Lucia crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Just because you never wanted to do anything fun in school doesn’t mean your students don’t either.”

Severus was about to interrupt her but she continued.

“Besides, this way we can get them properly registered if they can successfully transform. As I’m sure you are aware, there are only seven legally registered animagus with the ministry, but there are plenty of unregistered witches and wizards. In America we have nearly four times that number of animagus, simple because we give students the opportunity to do it in a safe environment under supervision.”

McGonagall stood up, rolling the parchment and placing it in a filing system in her office. “Mrs. Sometimes, I think it’s an excellent idea to give students the opportunity to learn how to become an animagus in a controlled environment. I agree that you are a competent animagus and would be an excellent resource for anyone looking to transfigure.”

Lucia grinned in triumph, glancing over at Severus with proud eyes.

“However,” McGonagal began speaking again, “I do not know of your experience with potions. As it is a difficult and sensitive process, I will ask Severus to help you.”

Both of them let out an audible groan, clearly displeased with the arrangement.

Lucia was the first to turn and face the other, extending a hand to Severus. “I look forward to working with you on this potion that I am fully capable of doing on my own.”

He shook her hand and said nothing, watching her spin away from him and leave the room. He could have sworn he heard her mutter “fucking bullshit” as she went through the doorway but wasn’t sure.

Severus then turned to Minerva, eying her suspiciously. “The ingredients are more difficult to prepare than the actual potion, Minerva. I don’t suppose you have picked up Albus’ habit of meddling.”

Minerva looked at him innocently before picking up a quill and going back to her writing. As Severus was leaving the room she called after him. “You never did get to have fun here at Hogwarts.”

Severus closed his eyes, immediately knowing what she meant.

It was uncanny how quickly Lucia had garnered a certain fascination within him. He found the young woman to be interesting, if not a bit odd. Certainly spending time with her was not as unpleasant as it could have been.

Severus shook his head and returned to his chambers, ready to return to his books and potions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is Jolene by Dolly Parton.
> 
> Please leave a comment and let me know what you're thinking. Also include your house in the comment! I'm curious about who is reading the story.


	5. To Be Curious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucia learns more about wizarding UK and digs into her family's past.

Lucia had never been much for breakfast, preferring to drink a cup of coffee with an absurd amount of cream instead and then starve until lunchtime. Beyond just a general dislike for the typical greasy and heavy breakfast food, Lucia also prefered to fit in every single moment of sleep she possibly could into her day, not bothering to brush her curly hair even as she blearily got ready for the day.

Hogwarts had somewhat shifted that routine for her. Out of sheer loneliness she had started appearing at the staff table in the morning, hoping to fit in a conversation with Aurora before she went to bed for the day. Having the reverse of each other’s schedule was inconvenient when maintaining a friendship, as Aurora was naturally nocturnal and often studied the stars well into the morning hours.

It was the Sunday before classes began and Lucia caught herself sitting between Severus and Aurora, sipping her coffee and picking at a croissant in front of her. She found herself particularly tired this morning. One of her dreams had woken her up after an especially gruesome death involving what she presumed was a muggle instrument called a gun. The loud bang had woken her up at 4 am, causing her to get up and play piano in peace for a few hours. At least it was a quick death, she thought.

“My dear, you look positively dreadful.” Minerva commented, handing out two scrolls of parchment to every teacher at the table.

“It was likely too much wine.” Muttered Severus from next to her.

Lucia picked up her croissant and took a large bite, silently reminding herself that verbal assault was probably ill advised on very little sleep. Or ill advised in general. At this point she didn’t really care, she just didn’t want to cause trouble before term had even started.

Aurora thankfully interrupted. “I understand that Lucia tends to have very bad dreams.”

Lucia had not told her the nature of said dreams, but spend enough time with another person and they do tend to ask why she is always yawning.

Severus looked at her from the corner of his eye with an expression of thoughtfulness before unrolling one of his scrolls.

Lucia unrolled hers as well, looking over the roster of students in each of her classes. None of the names in the first few years were familiar to her, though that was to be suspected, all things considered.

“Granger is back? I thought Potter and his adoring gang of idiots were all recruited to be aurors?” Snap snapped, directing the question to McGonagall.

“Potter and Weasley may have opted to not sit for their NEWTs, but I’m sure you can imagine Granger had no such intention.” McGonagall responded, her brow arching in response to his harsh critique of Potter.

Lucia scanned her list of students for her seventh year NEWT level class again and sure enough saw two names she recognized immediately: Hermione Granger and Ginevra Weasley.

“Isn’t that Ginevra girl dating Harry Potter?” Lucia asked, remembering an article she had scanned in Witch Weekly during a hair appointment.

“Firstly, I wouldn’t put it past Ginny to hex you for calling her Ginevra so I’d advise referring to her as Miss. Weasley or Ginny. Secondly, yes I believe they are in a relationship.” Minerva responded.

“Young love, how exhausting.” Severus labored out with distaste.

“I believe the muggle term is ‘high school sweethearts’, at least in America.” Aurora commented.

“Is that common with Hogwarts students? To marry someone they dated while in school?” Lucia asked, thinking about the couples she had heard about from the UK.

“I suppose so, though it’s not uncommon to never marry at all. The wizard population is quite small in the UK, only about three thousand, likely less after the war.” McGonagall explained.

“That seems dangerously low.” Lucia commented. “Ilvernmony’s student body is well above that, with over seven thousand students attending every year.”

“Well I’m sure with the ever expanding Weasley family, the UK will soon catch up.” Severus responded.

Lucia choked on her coffee, feeling it escaping through her nostrils.

“Well you could always help, Severus.” She said, coughing all the while. Aurora chuckled as well, covering her mouth.

“Mrs. Sometimes!” McGonagall exclaimed. “I realize there are no students, but I expect a certain level of decorum from a Hogwarts professor at all times. I expect such comments from Severus, but not from you.”

Lucia took an apologetic sip of coffee and smiled widely at the Headmistress before turning and grimacing at Severus. “Whoops.” She mouthed, taking a large gulp of coffee before standing up.

“Well if you will excuse me, I want to make sure my first day of classes is Granger ready, also I need to wash my mouth out with soap.” Lucia grabbed her class roster and pranced off before anyone could say anything else, waving goodbye to Aurora in the process.

“Are you quite sure she was a good addition to the staff?” Severus asked Minerva, watching the woman leave, noting her muggle sneakers underneath her blue robes.

“I was aware of how… American she was prior to hire.” McGonagall began. “Albus left her a glowing recommendation and specifically said that, should we win the war, she would be an invaluable person to have on the staff.”

“Invaluable is not quite the word I would use.” Severus snarked.

“He also mentioned her having a part in the war, though that was never made clear.” Minerva said, quieter this time, noting that Aurora was now in conversation with Professor Flitwick.

“Have you asked his portrait what he meant by that?” Severus inquired, his interest in the young witch piqued with this new information.

“I did and he was… well he was Albus. He said something about ‘sometimes secrets can only be told by the living’ and then began humming a tune. I couldn’t get him to explain anything else.” She replied, clearly unsure of what he meant.

“Have you asked her about it?” Severus continued the line of questioning.

“I didn’t want to be overt, but I mentioned The Order and she acted like she had no idea what that was, and then mentioned something about feng shui being important even in war times.” Severus let out a snort.

“How could she have been involved in the war effort but not known about The Order?” He asked, knowing Minerva likely did not have the answer.

“I’m not sure, but I suspect Ms. Sometimes is here for a reason besides needing a change of scenery.”

“You called her Ms. not Mrs.?” Severus asked, noting the change in language.

“Well Severus, she is a widow but it seems she is not quite the mourning bride I initially thought her to be.” Minerva shot him a quick wink before turning to Aurora and beginning a conversation about the upcoming weather events possibly obstructing her teaching schedule.

Severus gave her comment a moment to sink in before quickly dismissing it. He never imagined he would survive the war, let alone move past Lily. Her death defined him in a way he was never able to define himself. Through the first war, all his years at Hogwarts, and now after this second war, there was always Lily and his love for her.

How could the one thing that had kept him alive be discarded so easily by anyone, let alone a snarky American who didn’t even drink tea?

He did often feel aimless. His duty to Lily had been complete. Potter was alive, The Dark Lord was dead. There was nothing else he could do for her to make up for her death. He often wondered if she forgave him and then wondered if he could forgive himself.

Severus unrolled the second parchment, noting it was a calendar for the term. The typical dates were emphasized, with the Halloween Feast, beginning of the Christmas Holiday and Easter Holiday as well as the quidditch schedule.

He noticed a few conspicuous additions as well: the memorial which was to be held the second week of classes, a yule ball, and finally a day honoring the heroes on May 2nd, the first anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts.

Severus immediately turned to McGonagall, his voice sharp and fierce. “I don’t suppose Potter will be present for any of these additional events, as he is no longer a student of this fine institution.”

Minerva sighed “Actually Severus, he has been invited to attend all of them. I thought he would be an excellent speaker at the memorial. I do seem to recall, I also asked you to speak and you declined.”

“I don’t need to be adored by droves of fans like that Potter boy does.” He knew he was being particularly foul this morning, but he did not like the idea of facing Harry again after the night in the Shrieking Shack. It was the last time he had seen him, and he fully intended to keep it that way. In many ways the revelation of his love and admittedly somewhat of an obsession with Lily was something he didn’t enjoy discussing or even thinking about, and Potter knew better than anyone after he had given him that memory.

Severus remembered the night well. He lay there after being attacked by the snake, hoping the potion he had made was enough to heal the extensive damage done to his body. Potter and his friends had come to save him, or perhaps gloat in triumph over him. But he knew it was his only and last chance to let him know the truth and to guide him to do what he needed to do: die.

He had sent Potter to his death. There were few things he could forgive himself for, and that was not one of them. The fact that Harry had lived was merely coincidental.

“As far as the Yule Ball goes, I expect it to be an excellent way to pick up the spirits of our students. I meant to announce this while Ms. Sometimes was here, but I expect you all to teach your houses how to dance appropriately. Severus, I advise that you work with Ms. Sometimes. I don’t know if she can dance, but perhaps she can assist you in teaching.”

Severus had to choke back another groan and eye roll. Normally having an accomplished witch sorted into Slytherin would give him a sense of pride, but this specific witch was clearly more trouble than she was worth.

Professor Flitwick perked up immediately at the mention of a ball and said “Oh how delightful! The Frog Choir can perform! I shall ask Lucia to prepare some music as well.”

“That would be a lovely compliment to The Weird Sisters.” Minerva responded, clearly enjoying the enthusiasm. “In fact, the more involved each professor is, the better. Please consider how you and your house could add a personal touch to each event.”

Severus imagined what that might look like. An underground gambling ring run by the sixth and seventh years? A best dressed contest in which only dress robes costing over one hundred galleons would be considered?

He knew the request was primarily to get the houses to interact on a more amiable level, and by houses he meant Gryffindor and Slytherin. The time when blood supremacy was acceptable was coming to a close and it was a hard potion to swallow for many of his students.

~~~~~~~~~

Lucia had opted to go to the library after her verbal scolding by Minerva. She did not have to prep for the seventh years as she had claimed, but instead wished to look into the genealogical records of her family.

MACUSA had fine libraries, many of them exploring various fascinating topics, but very little exploring the lineage of the many wizarding families. Due to the Salem Witch Trials, many pureblood families chose to leave America, returning back to the countries they originally emigrated from and thus taking their records with them. Those that chose to stay were often left only with a vague idea of where they came from.

Lucia was aware her grandfather’s side, the Italian side of her, was from the longstanding Zabini line, which partially explained her being sorted into Slytherin, although her father’s line had not shared that surname for many generations.

Her mother’s side had a handful of psychics, primarily farces by her research. Lucia remembered her mother claiming that she was loosely related to the Picquery family as well, but that seemed to be a dead end. Nothing psychic or interesting on any of the witching sides of her family.

Which lead Lucia to exploring her grandmother’s side: the muggles. It was highly unlikely that the women in her family, supposedly going back generations, who had the dreams just like her were actually muggles. Perhaps they were practicing magic in secret, not knowing exactly what they were doing but using intuitive magic. Lucia only suspected this because she and her father both were strongly intuitive in their magical practice, often feeling the magic around them instead of commanding it. 

It was what made Lucia such a strong practitioner of transfigurations. She imagined many witches and wizards had the same sort of skill. Severus, for example, seemed to have an intuitive connection to potions and their ingredients, knowing better than the books themselves how to create concoctions of astounding power and effectiveness. Similarly, some of the best duelers in the world had cited a seemingly secondary instinct of how to protect and attack themselves in battle. Lucia knew what things were made of and how to change them. It was second nature to her and often did not require spellwork, though for the purpose of her education she had learned how to channel her magic in traditional ways.

In her first year out of Ilvermorny, Lucia had spent a fair amount of time researching these intuitive magic users, finally submitting a research paper to MACUSA that showed a correlation between accidental magic use in children with future skillsets and career paths, further proposing that children’s accidental outbursts should be documented by the ministry and passed on to the Ilvermorny headmaster and professors to better teach their students. It had been the paper that got her the position at MACUSA all those years ago. Lucia loved to research, which was good because tracking down her grandmother’s heritage was trickier than she thought it would be.

She had reached out to her closest living relative in Mirto, asking if she could get a list of names associated with the small commune of wizards there. There was no guarantee any names would pop up, but she had to be sure as there was a much larger pool of names to investigate on the muggle side of her family.

With some help from her MACUSA contacts, Lucia had managed to get the birth and death records for her grandmother’s side of the family. They had primarily lived in Tuscany, a place Lucia had only been once on her honeymoon which she, to be perfectly honest, was mostly drunk during. She hoped, with some cross references to the comprehensive records in the Hogwarts library, that she could find out the origin of her family's gift. She suspected that it may have been a curse put on the women, seeing as she would hardly consider it to be a helpful skill to have. Lucia didn’t dwell on what she would do if it was indeed a curse, perhaps she would break it, but craved to know either way.

Occasionally while scanning her records, a non italian name would pop out from the pages. Those were more of interest to her than the Italian names, as she had looked into all the known Italian wizarding families and none had any indication of the visions she experienced. She was only about a quarter of the way through her records when she realized it was already dinner. She sincerely hoped the house elves had prepared some pasta.

After arriving back at the staff table, Lucia took her place next to a refreshed looking Aurora.

“You look particularly well rested!” Lucia commented.

“You still look like a hippogriff knee’d you in the face.” Aurora commented back, playfully jabbing her in the side with her elbow.

“Yes well we can’t all be perfect, can we?”

“Did you hear the news? That we are going to have another Yule Ball?” Aurora asked.

“Another would imply I knew there was ever a first one.”

“Oh yes, that was before your time.” Aurora said. “The last one was five years ago. We had The Weird Sisters perform.”

Lucia let out a load, whining moan.

“You don’t like The Weird Sisters?” Aurora asked.

“No I love them, I saw them in America a couple years ago.” Lucia responded, aghast that she would imply anything besides adoration for the band.

“Then why are you so upset that they are coming.”

Lucia leaned into Aurora and quietly muttered “I may have slept with the bass player.”

“You slept with the bass player?” Aurora asked, a little too loudly for Lucia’s taste.

“It was right after my husband died, I was feeling very vulnerable.” Lucia defended in a loud whisper. “Plus, bassists have strong hands.” This she said a little bit louder, looking knowingly at Aurora.

“Well you’ll be happy to know they will be performing again.” Aurora responded.

“Oh no, I could barely get him to leave me alone after the last time.”

“I suppose you will need a date then.”

“Do you think Hagrid will be a good enough deterrent?”

“Not quite as good as Severus and his permanent scowl.”

Lucia giggled, a noise that she seldom allowed come out of her mouth and glanced over at Severus.

Severus, who sat on the other side of Lucia, had overheard the entire conversation and was desperately trying to prevent his ears from turning an unflattering shade of pink.

Lucia winked at him, something he was beginning to enjoy seeing her do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Thank you very much for reading.  
> I really appreciate everyone who has given me kudos and bookmarked this story.
> 
> Any feedback would also be appreciated, as I am still so new to this.
> 
> Also comments are the bread and butter of engagement.  
> I've been thinking of adding some pictures of what I imagine Lucia looks like, and I'm curious what you guys imagine her as, so if you think of her as resembling any specific celebrity or person, let me know.
> 
> And if you leave a comment, make sure to include your Hogwarts house so I know who is engaged.
> 
> Also also, Lucia is kind of a slut. I'm going to get into that more later, but I'd just like to say that slut shaming is not welcome in my comment section. There are lots of reasons for someone to have more than one partner in their life, including just wanting to, and if I have to say that in 2020, I'm really disappointed.


	6. To Take a Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Start-of-term Feast commences and Lucia has a disturbing dream.

It was September 1st, and while Lucia was not an anxious person, she was a bit intimidated to be teaching students who were closer to her age than most of her colleagues. Her first day of classes involved first years and seventh years, the two age groups she anticipated would be the most difficult. Twelve year olds were infamously awful, and she was helplessly intimidated by the near adults who would be in her most advanced classes. Even though she wasn’t teaching her first class until the following day, Lucia still felt immense pressure to make a good impression on her students.

Typically if she were going into a meeting with intimidating peers she would wear her power bitch outfit: a well fitting pencil skirt, flowing sheer blouse, red cape and matching red heels. Unfortunately red heels and tight pencil skirts paired with 17 year old boys seemed like an objectively bad idea.

Instead she had opted for a more conservative but still very muggle outfit consisting of pants, rather trousers if she didn’t want to get laughed at, and a blouse paired with her black robes.

Normally she wouldn’t bother doing much with her hair, finding that the more she did with it, the less it seemed to cooperate, but today she put her hair into a bun, or at least a close approximation of one. Her wild curls stuck out the sides, giving the distinct look of a poodle in great need of a trim.

With a sigh, she gazed at herself in the mirror. She looked tired, she knew that. She just hoped she didn’t look like a sheep about to be picked up by a dragon.

Lucia carefully placed her wand in her robes and put on her heeled boots, not considering whether they went with her trousers. Upon exiting her room she noticed a bottle conspicuously placed in the center of the hallway. She picked it up, glancing at the coloring, a bright orange. The label read “For particularly bad nights” and she knew immediately it was an invigoration draught, and a particularly powerful one at that.

Without thinking much about the dosage, Lucia took a heavy swig of the concoction, immediately feeling the energizing effects.

Severus earned at least a peck on the cheek for this one. Or she suspected it was Severus anyway.

With a newfound enthusiasm in her step, Lucia made her way toward the great hall. She had been informed by Minerva that professors were not required to be there prior to student’s arrival for the start-of-term feast, but it was highly encouraged. Lucia did feel bad for her inappropriate outburst the day before and wanted to assure McGonagall that she would be a dedicated member of staff. She also just loved a good feast. 

Lucia noticed immediately upon entering the great hall that the space felt somehow bigger, the tables expanding to seat the 300 odd students who would be swarming the school in a matter of moments. They were covered in candles. Well covered was not the right word. The candles were floating above the runners of the table, adorned in the house colors.

She couldn’t help but compare it to Ilvermorny, though they were founded in very different times. Ilvermorny had always adopted more of a gothic aesthetic, with more than a few unnecessary buttresses and various curved ceilings. The great hall reminded her somewhat of the giant dining hall at Ilvermorny, though the enchanted ceiling was arguably just as beautiful as the stained glass windows of her home.

Minerva waved at her from the staff table, gesturing to the seat she had been sitting in arbitrarily all summer. Aurora was already there, carefully stirring what looked to be a cup of tea. It was, after all, very early for her to be up. On the other side of her seat there was a conspicuous absence in the form of Severus Snape.

Lucia took her seat, smiling at her professors. She felt wonderful, though her nerves were still very apparent. Underneath the table her leg was uncontrollably shaking and she clasped her hands in front of her in anticipation.

“Where’s professor Snape?” Lucia asked Minerva, hoping to not seem to eager to see him.

“As deputy headmaster he is assigned to the first years before they begin the sorting ceremony.” Minerva replied. “You may have also noticed Hagrid is also attending to the students.”

Lucia hadn’t noticed and immediately felt a little guilty. She spent the remainder of their time before the students arrived trying to calm her nerves, even occasionally muttering to herself “Get it together Sometimes.”

Aurora had taken notice of her colleague and friend’s apparent distress and tried to reassure her that the students weren’t so bad and that she had total confidence in Lucia’s skills as a teacher, but it did little to lessen her nerves.

And then the voices began. First she heard the door to the entrance hall open, a load creek, and then what sounded like hundreds of children crowding into the castle. The great hall opened up and in poured her future students.

The first thing that struck Lucia was how young they looked. She could have sworn when she was seventeen she looked much older than these actual children. There were zits, girls with skirts that they had clearly hiked up above dress code (which Lucia loathed to admit she did as well), boys who hadn’t learned how to get intimate with a razor yet, and she could only begin to imagine the body odor. For whatever reason, all of these facts comforted her immensely. For whatever reason she pictured what she thought of herself as when she was a teen: a thoughtful, powerful, capable witch. In retrospect she was exactly like all of these students: overly sweaty, hormonal and mostly interested in which person she could ask out next.

As the students filtered to their tables, Lucia noticed a clear difference between the attitude of students. The Gryffindors were boisterous, cheering on their peers in greeting and obviously happy to be back at the school they adored, but glancing cautiously across the hall at the Slytherin table. The Ravenclaws all were similarly excited, if a bit less boisterous. Hufflepuff was more difficult to pin down, as it seemed many of them greeted students at other tables as well as their own. Slytherin, however, was very quiet. The greetings were serious, perhaps even a bit solemn. It was clear that there was fear at that table. Of what, she could only imagine.

After a few moments of settling in, the doors opened again and Snape led in the first years. Lucia couldn’t help but think it was a bit adorable to see him surrounded by a bunch of wide eyed and terrified children, if not a bit silly as well. His scowling expression did little to temper the clear nerves they were experiencing.

All the first years stood in the front of the hall, crowded around a stool with the sorting hat placed on it. Lucia barely had a chance to examine the faces of the first years before Minerva introduced the ceremony and the sorting hat began it’s song.

Lucia tuned out most of it, finding it to be mostly nonsense with a melody she could write in her sleep and instead smiled at Severus. He seemed a bit flustered when he saw her grin, which only spurred her on further, throwing a wink in for good measure. By the time the song had ended, Severus had turned back to the students and pulled out a list of names.

By the time the sorting ceremony had ended, there had been at least fifteen additions to each house. The Gryffindors had welcomed their new students loudly, while the Slytherins had systematically cheered certain students and barely acknowledged others.

Lucia took notice of an especially alienated boy who looked to be in second hand robes by the name of Quentin. He wore thick glasses and seemed to be very focused on the ceiling of the great hall. She would have to make sure to spend extra time getting to know him.

McGonagall stood up and walked to the front podium, commanding the attention of the student body “Hello to all new students, and welcome back to all returning students. Before the feast begins, I think it would be prudent to say a few words. As much as I would love to be as charming as Headmaster Dumbledore and just say nonsense, I’m afraid we do have some business to go over. Firstly, I would like to thank you all for returning. I know for some of you that was not an easy task. I’d like to acknowledge the difficult sacrifices made at the end of last year, the lives lost, and those who lost loved ones of their own. We will be erecting a statue for the fallen at our memorial service in the coming weeks, but should you feel the need to speak with someone regarding the difficulties you may be experiencing personally, please know our staff is available at all times to help in any way possible. We also have two new additions to our staff this year! Gawain Robards of the auror department is our new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor and Lucia Sometimes of the MACUSA Office For Magic Relations and Education will be replacing me in my role as Transfigurations professor. I need not remind you that the Forbidden Forest is, true to its name, forbidden to students. Also, I am excited to announce that we will be having a Yule Ball this year for fourth years and up.” A groan erupted from the younger students. “Perhaps with some consideration we can arrange something for the younger students should they behave.” During the speech, Severus had taken his seat next to Lucia, picking up his glass of pumpkin juice and carefully sipping. The speech ended with some well wishes for the school year and a reminder that all students should be on their best behavior.

Lucia turned to Severus, about to thank him for the potion that she could only assume he had left by her chambers, when the table was suddenly filled with various plates of food. Everything from pasties to flaming kiwi cups to succulent pork. Lucia had primarily been surviving on the standard fair of british food, which she described in her letters home as being mostly flavorless and overcooked. This was perhaps the first instance of actual flavor that she had been able to experience in months.

Her eyes widened as she began loading up her plate like an eager first year. Severus looked at her from the corner of his eye, allowing a small smirk to appear on his lips.

“Feeling quite well, Ms. Sometimes?” He asked, a knowing tone hidden behind his voice.

“I told you to call me Lucia,” she responded through a mouthful of sweet potato, “but yes I am thank you.” She said meaningfully.

“If we are to be friends, then you should know your hair looks like a bird laid roost on top of your head.” Severus said, a smirk on his mouth.

Lucia nearly spit out the potatoes, feeling a laugh coming on. “Well at least I don’t look like I am entirely unfamiliar with the concept of shampoo.”

Severus’s expression soured significantly and Lucia could tell she had struck a nerve.

“You still look very handsome, in a brooding sort of way.” She said, trying to backtrack. In truth Lucia did find him handsome in the way only certain people could be. She always believed that people who had perfect features were forgettable; beautiful but not unique or enthralling. Those individuals who had particularly large eyes, high cheekbones, strong jaw lines and prominent noses had always struck her as being especially good looking. Her husband had a prominent nose as well that he often complained about, even requesting Lucia transfigure it at one point. She had always kissed it and told him he wouldn’t be her Ryan anymore. Severus was much the same with his slightly crooked teeth and a hooked nose. Though he genuinely could use a scourgifying charm on his long hair.

Severus coughed slightly, hoping to change the subject. “I hope you are feeling quite prepared for your classes. You have been spending a large amount of time in the library recently.” He drawled slowly.

His cyncisims had gotten the better of him as he had noticed Lucia going to the Library quite often in the past weeks, something even Minerva has made a comment about in private. Severus had asked Irma Pince, the librarian, what Lucia had been studying. Madam Pince had no idea, only noting she spent a large amount of time in the archives. She was clearly not there to study Transfiguration course material.

Lucia could hear the mild accusation in his voice and silently reminded herself that even though the war was over, Severus was still a talented spy. She did not want to give him any reason to suspect that she was being any less than transparent.

“Oh I do feel very prepared, but I have been working on my own personal project in the library.” She hoped that grain of truth would be enough to stop his curiosity.

“And what sort of personal project did you need to come all the way to Hogwarts to study?” He asked, taking a bite of the pork roast.

“Well I’ve been trying to trace my family back to London. As you know, America doesn’t have very good records of families and I don’t know much about either side of my family.” Also not entirely untrue.

Severus could tell she wasn’t lying, though he was inclined to think she wasn’t saying everything. But the admission seemed harmless enough. He did not like to make it a practice to use legilimency on every person he thought to be even moderately suspicious, especially as often thoughts were difficult to garner much information from in passing. In order to truly know her intentions, Severus would have to invade her mind in a way that was obvious to both her and everyone else around them. So as much as it bothered him to know she perhaps wasn’t being fully transparent with him, he didn’t think going through ancestry records would lead to anything more harmful than another obnoxiously family obsessed pureblood in the Slytherin house.

Lucia noticed him looking thoughtfully at his food and breathed a silent sigh of relief. She wasn’t sure she could carry a lie effectively. The saving grace of her psychic ability was she often did not have to lie, she just had to omit certain truths. She didn’t sleep well because of a bad dream. She didn’t need to tell them that the dreams came true.

The rest of the feast continued with relative silence between the pair. Lucia chatted with Aurora about the exciting upcoming lunar cycles.

“Do you happen to follow the practice of astrology?” Lucia asked politely, genuinely curious what Aurora thought on the subject.

“That would be more a question for Professor Trelawney or Professor Firenze. I know a bit about it, but I’m not sure I believe in it.” Aurora replied.

“What is your sun and moon sign.” Lucia leaned in, clasping her hands.

“I only know my sun sign. I’m a capricorn.” Aurora replied.

“No wonder we get along! I’m a Scorpio sun capricorn moon, thought to be honest I don’t really believe in the stuff. It’s just fun.” Lucia laughed.

“You know a lot about it for someone who doesn’t believe in it.” Aurora commented.

“My mother practiced it. I believe she was a bit entrenched in the 1970s craze.” Lucia remembered fondly. “Anyway, I’m an emotionally volatile, naturally stubborn and passionate person , but with a fair amount of discipline and a desire for success.”

“That would explain the Slytherin sorting.” Aurora commented.

“Hmm, I suppose it could be that or a culmination of life experiences leading me to be the person I am today.” Lucia said, after a moment she continued on saying “You know, I think if we just looked at people based on what they’ve done with their lives and not how they were born, perhaps we’d have a better idea of who they are. Not that I don’t like the house system, I’m a proud Horned Serpent and now I suppose a proud Slytherin, but I really hope the things that define me when I die aren’t the houses I was sorted into or the family that gave birth to me. Or my fucking astrological sign for that matter.”

“Now you sound like a Hufflepuff.” Aurora snorted.

“I will take that as a compliment!” Lucia said, taking the napkin off her lap and placing it on the table. “I’m afraid I should be going to bed. I’m anticipating a very poor night’s sleep and am hoping I can negate that by going to bed early.”

Lucia said her goodbyes to the table and exited the great hall, climbing up the stairs to her chambers.

She glanced at herself in the mirror and couldn’t help but chuckle. It did look like a bird’s nest, it just needed an egg or two. She made a mental note to avoid buns in the future and prepared for bed, realizing this was the last Monday in awhile she wouldn’t be doing patrols with Severus. This realization didn’t make her feel as annoyed as it initially had when he informed her.

In fact over the course of the past couple weeks she had grown quite fond of their conversations. He was a difficult man to predict, but when they were able to banter back and forth, he reminded her quite a bit of her husband. Certainly he was a bit more mean sometimes, but Lucia was inclined to believe that if she just didn’t take his comments seriously, she would be fine.

Lucia got into bed with her lesson plans for the next day running through her head. She contemplated a dreamless sleep potion, just to make sure she was awake and ready the next day, but drifted off instead, thinking about the excitement tomorrow morning would bring.

Her dream that night began as all others do. She felt the temperature lower, her body becoming cold and stiff in her bed.

It was difficult to recognize where she was. It looked familiar with suits of armor all around, the figure in front of her walking briskly. It was so dark she couldn’t make out who they were or what they looked like, but they were tall, perhaps a bit over six feet and seemed to glide across the floor.

Lucia followed them, knowing that even if she tried to stay where she was, she would somehow find herself right next to them the moment they died. They went into another larger room, this one she knew immediately.

It was the trophy room. She was dreaming of someone dying in Hogwarts. Lucia raced around, trying to get a look at the fact of the person in her dream. The black robes and buttons seemed so familiar.

Then she heard the voice. “Lucia, I thought you weren’t feeling well this evening?” She recognized the voice immediately. The baritone stabbed into her like a knife.

“My love, I wanted you to join me.” Lucia turned around and looked into her own eyes, or what looked like them. There was nothing behind them, just an empty smile. But the face was hers, the body was hers. It was Lucia but not at the same time.

This imposter posing as Lucia reached out a hand for Severus.

“No! No, don’t touch him!” Shouted Lucia, desperately trying to stop this version of herself from hurting Severus.

“You can’t stop me.” The imposter said, looking at Lucia.

“Who are you speaking to?” Severus asked.

“No one, my love.” And with that she caressed his face softly. He immediately began gasping for air, almost as if he was being choked before he collapsed into her arms. “Yes my love, I’ve been so alone. No one can keep us apart.” The imposter looked at Lucia and smiled her empty smile once more.

Lucia stared down at Severus, his eyes glossed over and skin pale. His mouth was agape and his hands were clutching the imposter’s arms. 

“It’s time to wake up.”

Lucia gasped for air, her body rising from the bed in a panic. “No, no, no, no, no I saved him. I fucking saved him!” She cried to the night air, tears streaming down her face. The sudden urge to vomit came over her and she rushed to her bathroom, collapsing over the toilet and emptying her stomach. “Why do I kill him? What is wrong with me?”

After sobbing against the wall of her bathroom for what felt like hours, Lucia stood up and glanced at the mirror, examining her own eyes in earnest. She needed to know they were not empty. She needed to know she was still Lucia. But most of all, she needed to know that she’d find a way to stop this from happening to a man who she had already saved once before. She would not let him die again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the Kudos and comments.  
> Tomorrow I will work on creating a banner for this fic, including a picture of Lucia for reference.
> 
> This was kind of an intense chapter.
> 
> I have a pretty clear idea of where this story is going and I think it will be unpredictable enough where no one will guess, but I'm wondering if anyone has any idea's. So let me know in the comments what you think may happen!
> 
> Thank you very much!


	7. To Tell The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucia teaches her first day of class and scrambles to figure out how to save Severus.

[](https://ibb.co/4KMT4w9)

It took all of Lucia’s emotional effort to compose herself enough to appear at breakfast the next morning, looking much like she had just seen a ghost. Both Severus and Aurora had tried greeting her, but she had only responded with a grunt. She wasn’t able to look either of them in the eye, too afraid that the truth would spill out of her.

It wasn’t until the owls began swooping in with mail that Lucia looked up from her breakfast that consisted of barely touched oatmeal and a large mug of coffee. Hundreds of birds entered the great hall, dropping packages and letters from family members. Many of the first years looked relieved to receive word from home while the older students rolled their eyes when they saw their parents names on the envelopes.

Lucia had received a letter as well from her only friend in the United States, Emily Ito, or Harborough now after her marriage over the spring.  
_  
Dear Lucia,  
I am writing to wish you good luck on your first day as a professor, though I hardly think you need it. You were always quite good at lecturing me after all. Knowing you, you’ve already prepared some exciting and groundbreaking course material and ruffled a few feathers._

_  
Dillon and I had a lovely trip to Portland, OR last week and I wanted to send you a few pictures._

Lucia stopped reading and began examining the photos attached to the letter. Emily and her husband Dillon were an exceptionally beautiful couple. She was a tall and lean Japanese woman with strong cheekbones and kind eyes and he was equally good looking with his shaggy brown hair and gentle smile. They were in front of a city waterfront, smiling over the pier with boats floating by behind them. The other photos were of the city and its various sites that they had explored. It looked lovely and it made Lucia miss Emily terribly. They had done quite a few weekend trips together, with Emily third wheeling with Ryan and Lucia. After Ryan had passed, Emily had taken her to San Francisco to sprinkle his ashes over the Golden Gate bridge, one of the favorite sites of the city he was born in. 

_  
There was so much food, Lucia! You would have loved it. Also the music was delightful. I believe we saw a band that did the funk music that you showed me once._

Lucia chuckled. Despite Lucia’s mood, ‘the funk music’ still managed to cheer her up.

_  
I miss you terribly at work. No one else here has a sense of humor and you always did make me smile. I know that you said you needed the change but I hope you will reconsider coming home after this year. You are so loved and missed. Also you’re going to be an aunty!_

_  
I didn’t want to tell you before you left because it was still so new, but I’m pregnant! The healers offered to tell us the gender, but there are so few true surprises in life so we are just going to wait until he or she joins us. But certainly if it is a girl I will name it Lucy after her aunty._

_  
We are due in April, right before Easter Holiday so I hope you can make it back to meet them. Please let me know if you can come and we would be happy to host you in our guest room._

_  
All my love, Emily_

Lucia couldn’t help but smile despite the terrifying dream she had the night before. No one deserved a child more than Emily. She had been patient and caring to Lucia when Ryan died and allowed her the space she needed without judgement. Emily had always been uncommonly kind and good natured, but never a pushover.

She grasped a piece of parchment and quill from her back, scribbling out a quick reply before the owls left.

_  
Emily,_

_  
You have no idea how much I needed good news on this day. As always you are my angel of kindness and joy. I am so happy for you and Dillon. I will return Easter Holiday, but do not worry about hosting me. I will stay at my grandmother’s home in the Bronx. It has been empty for many years and I need to make sure it is clean and in good condition any way._

_  
I love you dearly and I hope to hear from you soon._

_  
Lucia_

Lucia folded the letter and sealed it by transfiguring another piece of parchment into an envelope. She attached it to the owl’s leg and gave it a piece of bacon before sending it on it’s way. 

________“Ms. Sometimes, isn’t your morning class with first years?” She heard Severus ask next to her, clearly trying to start a conversation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia sighed and closed her eyes tightly before abruptly responding “Yes.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Severus was silent for a moment before he leaned in to Lucia and whispered “You should really have taken the potion this morning.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia rolled her eyes and stood up, not bothering to say goodbye to anyone at the table, especially Severus. If there was any way to prevent him from dying, including getting close to him, Lucia would do it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Unfortunately, her first class for the day was all the way in the dungeons, dangerously close to the potions classroom. As she went down the stairs to the dungeon, Lucia replayed the dream she had last night, trying to parse out the details._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He had called her Lucia, something that he had yet to do. And she had called him ‘my love’. It was something she had never called anyone and thought it sounded unusual coming from her lips. Usually when she was close to someone she came up with some useless nickname or stuck with the traditional babe, especially when she wanted them to do something for her. Further, he didn’t seem shocked by her calling him my love. In fact if Severus could look happy, he certainly did seem happy to see her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She tried to recall what exactly the imposter version of herself was wearing, vaguely being able to visualize a white nightdress with a high collar. After searching her memory she realized she knew the dress. It was a gift from her grandmother when she turned 18. She told her it was an heirloom and to care for it well. It had always struck Lucia that the nightdress did not seem fragile like she imagined a muggle heirloom would be, but she never thought to investigate the item. It had never been worn, sitting in her wardrobe like all of her nightgowns had. Lucia had slept in the nude since she was a teenager, much to her grandmother’s chagrin. She had always imagined that she would pass on the nightgown to her daughter should she have one, but Ryan and Lucia had decided to wait to have children, both wanting to focus on their careers before giving up the joy they had for a different kind of joy. Now Lucia regretted that, wishing she had any piece of Ryan at all with her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The classroom was empty, with students still in the great hall for at least a few more minutes. Lucia took a seat behind her desk and closed her eyes, trying to hold back the tears that pushed behind her eyelids. She let out a deep breath and opened them again, allowing herself to let go of the stress she was experiencing and focus on the task at hand. There was nothing she could do until at least lunchtime and she knew exactly what she needed to do: speak with Albus._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Students from Slytherin and Ravenclaw began pouring in, setting their satchels down next to their chairs and taking out a piece of parchment and their quills. There was a bit of nervous chatter, but mostly they were quiet, likely intimidated by this being their first class. They didn’t realize Lucia felt exactly the same._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________As soon as the class time officially began, Lucia stood up and introduced herself to the class, giving them a brief overview of the study of Transfiguration as well as handing out a course outline._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“As you can see on the schedule, today we will be going over the Transfiguration alphabet and the transformation formula.” Lucia wrote the two subjects on the chalkboard behind her with her wand. “While you will be tested on the alphabet and it is something I recommend studying, you will find very little practical use for it in this classroom. If you think you will go into the NEWT level classes, then I would encourage you maintain this knowledge as it comes in handy when looking at the theory behind transfigurations.” Lucia began to write out the alphabet for the students to copy down before moving on to the next topic._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“As for the transformation formula, I have some ideas that may stray a bit from your textbook. I encourage you all to make your own assessment on the subject, but you will be tested on what is in the book. You will find that the effectiveness and powerfulness of a transfiguration spell is directly influenced by the body weight of the caster, the viciousness of intention, the wand power, concentration and a final unknown factor.” Lucia wrote A+V+W+C+Z on the board before circling the Z. “There are many theories on what Z could be, as it is something that many witches and wizards have not been able to put their finger on. Many scholars claim it is the caster’s ability to visualize the transfiguration they are attempting. While I do not think this is wrong, I think there is a secondary skill that only a few select witches and wizards can use. Something stronger than visualization.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia looked at her students, hoping they were paying attention to her first lesson and was pleased to find them frantically taking notes and looking up at her with interest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Can anyone tell me if they showed any signs of uncontrollable magic as a child? Things they did often without even thinking about it?” Lucia asked, hoping to get a better idea of her student body._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A few students raised their hands, giving her examples of exploding soup in their brother’s face when they were angry, accidentally turning themselves invisible when they were scared and then not being able to reappear for days, and making a drink that made the user hiccup uncontrollably for hours. None of those were transfiguration skills, but she made a note to tell Robards, Flitwick and Snape respectively about their possibly gifted students._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She was about to resume a lesson when the boy with thick glasses raised his hand. “Yes Quenton?” She called, inviting him to speak._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Well uh, when I was in primary school and kids made fun of me, I’d sometimes turn them into spiders accidentally. They always turned back! But I was pulled out of school after the third time.” Lucia stopped writing on the chalkboard and smiled at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“When I was a girl, I used to turn myself into a cat when I wanted to sneak around without anyone noticing me.” Lucia motioned to the Z on the board. “By some innate intuition, I knew how to do an advanced form of transfiguration, something you will only learn in your 6th year. It seems Quentin may also have that exceptional ability as well.” She winked at him and turned back to the board. “I expect a foot long paper about your own personal view on what Z could be by next week. There are plenty of books available in the library on the subject, but I encourage you to think for yourselves. Magic is sometimes very scientific and formulaic, but occasionally it is simply magic. If you have any questions, please see me after class. I have office hours for the next hour and I’d be happy to help point you in the right direction.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The class started milling out the exit and Lucia erased the chalkboard, allowing herself a small smile as she felt her first class had gone rather well. When she turned around she noticed Quentin standing by the door. She approached him and gently inquired if he had any questions._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I was wondering. I read something about animagus’. Are you an animagus? You said you turned into a cat.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia laughed and explained to him “While I am an animagus, that process is much longer and more difficult than a spell that transfigures the body. I can transfigure myself into any animal, ant or elephant, but I cannot maintain that shape permanently. The spell will wear off and I will return to my human form. It also is taxing and takes energy to maintain that form, as you’re aware. Turning other humans into creatures is no small feat either.” She looked at him knowingly. “Now as an animagus I can stay in my form for as long as I’d like, years even! It’s the only form I feel truly comfortable in besides my human form. I suspected I might become a cat after undergoing the process, but alas another creature chose me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What is your animagus, Professor?” He asked, genuinely interested._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Well I don’t usually like to tell people usually, as it is something that can come in handy when trying to be inconspicuous. But I suppose I can trust you.” Lucia raised her eyebrows at him, hoping he wouldn’t betray her confidence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Of course not! I don’t know who I would even tell. Most of my classmates don’t like me because I’m a muggleborn.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia smiled sadly at him and said, “Very well then.” before transforming into a red fox. She did a lap around the classroom, making sure to prance and leap for him a few times before morphing back into her human form. “This form chose me when I was 17. I feel as if the fox is a part of me now. We’ve had many years to get to know each other and I realize that she is just as much a part of me as my human form.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Quentin nodded in understanding and awe before looking at the clock on the wall. “I have potions in a few minutes. Is Snape as dreadful as they all say?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia let out a gentle laugh and said “I have found him to be rather delightful, just don’t take his mood to heart. Underneath I think he is a rather kind man.” She smiled softly and opened the door for him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She watched him, her smile dropping off as she rushed into the hallway and up to her chambers. She opened the drawers and found the nightdress, hoping she could pick up some traces of magic on it. Perhaps that was the cursed object that had followed her family for generations? She admitted she wasn’t great at detecting curses and was worried that if she cast any spells on it she might activate some latent spell. Instead she reached out with her magic to see if she felt anything. Besides a charm to fit the wearer properly, there wasn’t anything of note. Though the charm felt… old. There was no way to describe it. Old magic felt different. When Lucia had come into contact with artifacts in her studies, she had always been able to sense when something was older than a hundred years because the magic seemed to be antiquated in a way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________With no new information besides the confirmation that there had been magic in her family before her grandmother’s generation, Lucia decided that perhaps her best course of action was to ask Albus about the nightdress as well. Though limited in capacity as a portrait, she was sure she could glean some wisdom from him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She had at least an hour before lunch, which was when she planned on sneaking into the headmaster’s office and decided to go over her coursework again for the seventh years in silence. Her cat, Nuit, had affectionately climbed onto her lap and was purring as she shuffled through the papers. She knew Hermione Granger and Ginevra, Ginny she reminded herself, would be in her class this afternoon and was admittedly a bit intimidated by the accomplished young women. Both had a profile written about them in Witch Weekly after the war and were painted as fierce and intelligent war heros. Lucia had always hoped that she too would be considered fierce and intelligent, but she was not brave like the two Gryffindor girls were. Seldom she stood up for what she believed in, unless what she believed in was herself. She only hoped she could channel some of their bravery today._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Noon had finally arrived and she hoped that all the students and teachers would be in the great hall. It was not unusual for Lucia to eat lunch in her quarters, or sometimes in the library much to Madam Pince’s chagrin, so she hoped she would not be missed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She made her way through the courtyard and up to the gargoyle guarding his office chambers. The nightgown was folded neatly in her bag which she had slung over her shoulder. She had noticed a furry tail disappear around the corner as she arrived at the gargoyle and immediately recognized it to be Mrs. Norris, the dreadful cat Filch seemed to worship like a goddess. A grimace crossed her face as she turned back to the statue and quietly murmured “candyfloss.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The office was dark as she entered, with various candles erupting in flame with each step she took._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“My dear, what brings you to the Headmistress’ office on the first day of class?” Albus asked. “I can ask one of the other portraits to fetch her for you, if you wish.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No Albus, I came here to speak with you.” Lucia replied, pulling a chair close to his painting and sitting down. “I had another dream.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Albus’ eyes turned sad for a moment before he gestured for her to continue._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia described her dream, only excluding that there was some implied romantic familiarity between herself and Severus. She told him about the nightgown and how she had recognized it as one that had been in her family for a very long time and asked him to look at it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh my darling girl, I’m afraid even with my skills, I cannot transcend death.” He smiled sadly at her. “Have your sources given you any new information on your family history?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m all the way back to the 1500s now and there haven’t been any names I recognize as witch or wizard names.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Perhaps you will have to go back even further.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia sighed, feeling defeated. “I had really hoped that the nightdress would reveal something to me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Perhaps it still can, though I suspect you may need to ask for help. I seem to recall Severus being a skilled cursebreaker.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________With a scoff, Lucia replied “I hardly think that’s wise, Albus. I do, after all, kill the man.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I think we both can agree that whoever, or whatever killed Severus was not you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia paused for a moment, trying to find a way to avoid having to interact with Snape more than she already had to when she was interrupted by another voice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Ms. Sometimes, when I was told there was someone sneaking into my office, I never imagined it would be you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia squeezed her eyes shut and turned in her seat to see headmistress McGonagall looking at her with an eyebrow raised in question._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Perhaps, Lucia, it is time for someone living to know your secret again?” Albus said from his perch on the wall._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What in Merlin’s name is he referring to?” Minerva asked, her arms crossed over her chest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia turned back to Albus, her eyes pleading. “Please, I need this position Albus. I need to be here to figure out what is happening to me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“That doesn’t answer my question, Lucia.” McGonagall asked sharply._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia sighed in defeat and turned around, knowing it was time to tell someone about the real reason she was at Hogwarts._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia tried to abbreviate her story as much as possible, only letting Minerva know what she felt was absolutely necessary. She told her about her visions, how she had come to communicate with Albus, her first vision about Severus, her goal of discovering more about her family history at Hogwarts, and finally her most recent vision._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“How very unusual for a Slytherin to avoid praise for their actions.” Albus commented._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What do you mean?” Lucia asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You left out the other lives you saved. Sirius, for one. Remus and Tonks also have you to thank for allowing them to raise their child. And Fred for saving him during the battle.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“How did Ms. Sometime’s dreams save their lives?” McGonagall asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You’ll find that you can do exceptional preventative magic when you know exactly when and where someone is going to die.” Albus replied, a twinkle in his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Fine, keep your secrets.” McGonagall responded. “As for you, I am shocked you did not inform me of this prior to today.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia hung her head in shame. “For every life I have saved there are hundreds I have not been able to. I am not a hero, I am just a messenger of death.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Now is your chance girl, now is your chance to do something. To truly save someone.” Albus said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t know if I can! I feel like I am no closer to the truth than I have ever been. All I know is that this nightdress is very old and that there were witches on that side of the family, as I had suspected.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You know more than that.” McGonagall said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What do you mean?” Lucia inquired._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“She saw you. Whoever was in your body saw you. Perhaps it was a possession. Some dark magic.” McGonagall replied. “I would reach out to Severus, as he knows much about the dark arts.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“And how would I do that without making him suspicious?” Lucia asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m sure with your feminine charms you can convince him it’s just harmless curiosity.” Albus smiled from the portrait. “And while you’re at it, have him examine the nightdress.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia groaned. The last thing she wanted was to get closer to Severus, let alone charm him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“If it will make it easier, I can tell him the nightdress was discovered in some abandoned classroom in the castle and asked you to look into it for me.” McGonagall offered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I am a horrible liar.” Lucia responded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I would argue you are actually a very talented liar.” McGonagall offered up, “Though very little gets past Severus.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Perhaps Miss. Granger would be of help?” Offered up Albus._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yes! I do believe she would be an excellent resource. Though I believe asking both her and Severus would be ideal. The more minds working on this task, the better I do think.” McGonagall replied._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia’s feeling of despair only deepened. “You don’t seem worried at all. I killed someone!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Lucia, my dear, you did not kill someone. Someone else is going to kill someone, and I have the distinct suspicion that regardless of you being here at Hogwarts or somewhere else entirely, this entity will cause you to do something you would never do of your own volition.” Albus responded. “Besides, Hogwarts is the safest place in the world.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The irony of the statement struck Lucia like a stunning spell to the chest. So many people had died here, many of them in the last year alone. She couldn’t help but let a tear leak out from between her eyelids._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t deserve to be welcome here.” She said through her tears._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________McGonagall approached her, kneeling down beside her. “We have all seen death Lucia and wondered what we could have done to stop it. I think you will find everyone here understanding of that, including Severus should you choose to tell him the truth.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucia smiled at Minerva before her mouth transformed into a grim line. “I will never tell him.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm crunching in quite a few chapters before I start my new job. I have to study quite a bit this week as well.
> 
> The plot is just beginning and I promise the romance will begin to take off soon as well. I had to set the table first.
> 
> Thank you for the feedback, favorites, and subscriptions. I can't tell you how much they mean to me.


	8. To Apologize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus is annoyed at Lucia's mood swings and Lucia has a full day of teaching and investigation

Lucia left the office feeling like she had not gotten any of the answers she was looking for. Albus and Minerva had been kind and thoughtful, but not the fountain of knowledge she had hoped. In fact just as she was walking out she had heard Albus call out to her, saying some hokey sentimental bullshit about love being the ultimate weapon. Lucia shook her head even thinking about it. Love hadn’t saved her parents or her grandmother, and it certainly hadn’t saved Ryan.

Her second class of the day would be starting soon with the seventh years and she didn’t want to be late. It was relatively easy to impress a bunch of first years, but she knew the older students would be more difficult to win over.

There were already a handful of students in the classroom when Lucia arrived, including Miss. Granger and Miss. Weasley. Lucia walked quickly to her desk, pulling her wand out of her robe and writing her name on the board. She waited a few minutes, allowing the rest of her NEWT level students to trickle in before beginning her lesson.

She introduced herself much the same as she did with the first years, but added additional information regarding her various research projects with MACUSA and her unique skill sets. “I’m especially excited to teach your year because we are studying primarily two of my favorite types of transfiguration: conjuring and human transformation.” Lucia magicked the two subjects onto the board. “While it may seem easy, as you have probably transfigured birds many times, conjuring a bird is much more difficult. It is extremely difficult to turn something into nothing. You all should have learned how to do this in your sixth year and I expect a high level of proficiency. But a bird is a simple thing to conjure. This year we will be looking at more complicated life forms; things like monkeys,” she flicked her wand and a monkey appeared in a cage, “dogs,” a dog appeared between the aisles and scampered between the students “and humans.” Lucia conjured a perfect mirror image of herself and had it wave at her with a smile. The sight, though it was something she had done many times in school, now disturbed her immensely and she vanished all three conjurations swiftly.

But the image also put an idea in her head. What if the person was not her at all? Perhaps it was a polyjuice potion, or maybe it was a simple conjuring of someone who looked like her. It would take a skilled witch or wizard to make a duplicate version of her that would move and speak, let alone kill someone. Somehow that felt very unlikely. There was also the option of possession, though again that would mean either a cursed object or an exceptionally strong wizard, or some combination.

Lucia realized she had been in silent thought for too long and coughed. “It is perhaps even more difficult and a battle of will to transfigure oneself. This year I will teach you how to disguise yourself, how to make yourself turn into an animal of your choosing, and, if you so wish it, I am also offering students the option to work with me to become animagi.” A murmur went through the group of students and Lucia had to raise their voice above them. “It is not an easy process. It takes dedication and patience as well as bravery, so I don’t expect every student to choose to participate, let alone complete the process. I will warn you that things can go horribly wrong in the final steps of the spell and can be irreversible. Should I feel that you are in any way unable to complete the spell, and I will be able to tell, then you will be asked not to continue with the transformation. It is my utmost feeling that this has nothing to do with your skills as a witch or wizard, but rather with the form you will take. If there is chaos within your soul, your animagus form will reflect that.”

Lucia took in their faces in silence, noting the looks of interest and some apprehension. She was happy to see that they at least looked engaged.

Hermione’s hand shot up after a moment and Lucia nodded at her to speak. “If it is so dangerous, why are we being allowed to do it?”

Lucia sighed and looked at her classroom “Once you get advanced enough in any subject, everything is dangerous. I’m sure in potions you have been one wrong stir from an explosion, or in Herbology just inches away from being poisoned. You trust those teachers to protect you properly and to have your best interests at heart. I should hope you would have the same trust for me.”

The rest of the lesson continued on with Lucia introducing the beginning processes of complex conjurations in great detail. Before she knew it, it was time for her third and last class of the day with the other first year students. She let her students know that should they be interested in becoming animagi, they would have to let her know by next class, but they could sign up now. A handful of students put their names on a sheet of paper she had provided, which pleased Lucia immensely. She was excited to guide them in the journey that was becoming an animagus and knew they were excited.

Hermione lagged along behind the other students as they were leaving and Lucia sighed, anticipating another question.

“Professor, I was wondering if I could just observe the process of becoming an animagus? I don’t think I want to become one.” Hermione asked, her hands wringing nervously in front of her.

“Of course Miss. Granger, in fact I think that’s very wise of you. While it’s certainly a skill that I enjoy having, it's quite painful and… intense process. To be perfectly honest I mostly did it to say that I could. A bit of Slytherin pride I suppose.” Lucia said.

Hermione was about to leave when Lucia called out to her.

“I was told by Minerva that you are excellent at research and I have… well I have a personal project that I’m working on. I’m at a bit of a dead end.”

“Of course, perhaps we can schedule a time to discuss it? Without Ron and Harry here to distract me I’m afraid the only thing I am able to do is study.”

“When do you have a free period over the course of this week?”

“I don’t have any free periods, professor.”

“Of course you don’t.” Lucia muttered. “Well then, how about we meet this Friday after dinner and discuss it then? In my office?”

“That sounds perfect, thank you professor!”

“No thank you.”

Her third and final class of the day with the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs went off without a hitch. She made a few tweaks to her speech to make it more exciting and showed a few upper level transfigurations to get them excited about the subject and then sent them off to dinner.

Dinner. Lucia didn’t want to go. Beyond being tired, she had almost forgotten about the almost insurmountable task in front of her: saving Severus Snape. Moreover, she didn’t want to see him. Not only was she afraid of him figuring out the truth, but the emotional intimacy they had shared in her dream had scared her.

She hadn’t dated much since Ryan passed, at least not with the intention of falling in love. She had slept with arguably a lot of people. Objectively it was a lot. She had always been a bit promiscuous, finding both men and women an excellent escape from whatever reality she was trying to avoid, and for the first year and a half of being a widow, Lucia hated her reality.

It had eventually slowed down and then even stuttered to a halt, with Lucia entering the longest dry spell she had ever had. She kept telling herself it was a good thing, even choosing to self identify as celibate, but in truth she was getting lonely. And not just lonely for sex. She missed the easy emotional intimacy she had with Ryan. He had seen her for what she was and loved her for it, and sometimes despite it. She had screamed at him to leave her alone after her grandmother died and he had stayed. She had eaten both of their desserts and he had simply laughed at her and asked if she wanted more. And when she told him she wanted an abortion, he took her to a healer he trusted and held her hand. He was a good man, better than her and, in many ways, kinder. She always felt simultaneously lucky and guilty that she had managed to trick him into marrying her. 

She wasn’t sure what kind of man Severus was, but she knew she liked him. He was smart and made her laugh and was probably an excellent cook which was perfect because Lucia couldn’t boil water if she tried. She knew he had at least the propensity to be kind. But apparently she had the propensity to murder him. It seemed like a bad match.

Lucia laughed at the irony as she walked through the crowded great hall toward the staff table. It would only make sense that the only person she had even considered being romantically involved with since Ryan would be on death’s doorstep. Everyone else she had loved had died too, after all. Everyone except Emily.

Lucia took her seat in the great hall, glancing over at Severus. He wasn’t acknowledging her and she sighed, knowing if she wanted his help that she would need to apologize.

“Severus, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for being an absolute brat this morning.” Lucia had hoped he would turn and speak to her but he was silent. “I had a very bad dream the night before and I didn’t take the potion. It’s not an excuse, though. I shouldn’t have treated you like that.”

Lucia turned to Aurora and said “And the same applies to you. I was rude and awful.”

Aurora was quicker to forgive. “It’s alright Lucia, I know how stressed you were about your first day.”

Lucia thought that it was pretty clear who the bigger adult in this situation was.

“Severus, I do need to talk to you about a few things. Firstly, we have a handful of students interested in becoming an animagus and I would like to discuss the timing of the potion.”

Severus just grunted in response, something she would normally not put up with but had to in this circumstance.

Lucia’s voice quieted and she spoke loud enough for Severus to hear and no one else. “And I wanted to ask you to examine a family heirloom. I think… I think it may be cursed? I am not good at those kinds of spells. Minerva told me you would be an excellent resource.”

“I see, you are only speaking to me because you need my help? How very Slytherin of you.”

“No Severus, not at all! I want to be your friend. I enjoy spending time with you.” Lucia defended, genuinely disappointed he would think that about her.

“Very well. I expect to see you in my office after dinner this evening.”

Lucia nodded in understanding and continued chatting with Aurora for the rest of dinner.

“I would ask you how your first day went, but I imagine you haven’t even taught your first class yet.”

Aurora chuckled in response and said “Yes, though once you’ve been here as long as I have, it no longer seems so exciting.”

“How long have you taught at Hogwarts?”

“I started around the time Severus did. We were around the same age too. So nearly 17 years now.”

“18 years ago I was begging my mother to let me go to Ilvermorny early.”

“You certainly know how to make a witch feel old.”

Lucia laughed “Aurora my darling, you look not a day over 25.”

Aurora laughed and nudged Lucia playfully. The conversation continued and Lucia occasionally tried to pull Severus in with no avail.

As soon as Severus had completed his meal he stood up from the table and looked at Lucia expectantly.

Lucia glanced at Aurora who nodded at her and began a conversation with Professor Flitwick. Lucia stood, grabbing the bag that contained the nightdress and began following Snape down to the dungeons.

Severus’ gate was wide and it was clear he was trying to outpace her. With her slight frame, Lucia had to jog to keep up with him.

“Severus. Severus! Could we slow down? I haven’t been to a Fit Witch class in weeks.” Her breath was coming in huffs and she was glad to see he had slowed his pace. “Do I need to apologize again? I’m sorry.”

“Ms. Sometimes, you will find that I do not have much patience for the mood swings of young witches.”

“Really, because it seems like you only know how to have mood swings?” She snapped.

“If you don’t want my help then I’d be happy to let you figure this out on your own.”

“Unfortunately you seem to be everyone’s first and only recommendation for things of this nature.” Lucia muttered, following him into his office.

Severus took a seat behind his desk as if she were a student of his rather than an equal and a colleague. He wanted to make it clear that she was still not in his good graces after his dramatics this morning.

Lucia looked around the room, debating pulling up a seat in front of the desk or just standing. After a moment of thought she opted to instead perched herself on the edge of his desk directly next to him. She enjoyed a good game of social chess and she very much preferred to win.

Severus stared at her as if she had just murdered a child and Lucia simply smiled at him, pulling a paper from her satchel and placing it in front of him.

“I am giving the seventh years until next week to decide if they wish to undergo the process of becoming an animagus, but here is the preliminary list. As you can see I have circled Miss. Granger. She wishes to observe the process but not actually transfigure.” Lucia pointed to another name. “And I’m sure you’re delighted to know that Miss. Weasley opted to participate.”

Severus raised an eyebrow at this, clearly dismayed to see both their names.

“Now I’m sure you are familiar with the potion’s process but as you are aware, students must keep a mandrake leaf in their mouth for a full month starting at the full moon. Conveniently there is a full moon next week, so I will instruct my students to begin the process on the evening of the 10th of September. They’ll unfortunately have it in their mouth for the memorial that Friday, but everything should be complete by Halloween.”

She went on to explain the next few steps, including them going and collecting enough dew for each student’s potion and storing it away from sunlight for 7 days, finding a Death’s-head hawk moth’s chrysalis, and then keeping it in a dark place until a lightning storm. It was a long process and she did not want to wait until late in the term in a case a lightning storm did not occur in time before the students graduate.

Severus had never done the potion before but seemed interested in the process. The potion itself was not difficult, but the ingredients were sensitive and required special care. It would be an interesting project to work on and he couldn’t help but feel slightly pleased that he had been volunteered to assist Ms. Sometimes, despite her less than pleasant personality.

Lucia smiled at Severus, happy that he seemed to be genuinely interested in the conversation. He looked up at her, his expression hardening.

“You mentioned an heirloom.” Lucia’s smile dropped and she reached into her bag again, pulling out the nightdress.

“I’m not sure how to explain this but I- I’ve been researching my family as you know, and I’ve started to suspect a side of my family that I have traditionally thought of as being muggle may actually have a magical history.” She unfolded the nightgown across his desk, covering the books and papers. “This has been passed down from generation to generation. It is in astonishingly good condition, though admittedly I never wear it. When I examined it to see if I could detect any spells and I noticed a fitting charm had been placed on it. But it is an old charm, very old by the feel of it.”

Severus stood up and circled the dress, being careful not to touch it. His arm grazed against Lucia’s and she shivered.

“Why would you suspect it is cursed?” Severus asked.

Lucia cursed in her head. She had hoped he wouldn’t ask too many questions, but she supposed it was inevitable. “I have always had terrible dreams and last night I saw myself doing something terrible and I was wearing the nightdress.” She tried to be as obtuse as possible, hoping that was enough to satisfy him.

“Thankfully, Miss. Sometimes, it was only a dream.” But he continued to examine the dress. “You missed another spell.”

“Really?” Lucia rushed to his side and stared at the area of the address that he was examining.

“Yes, a simple concealment charm, easy to overlook unless you were thoroughly examining every section of the garment.” Severus cast a silent revelio. “How unusual that a charm would last so long after the caster had died.”

A scroll of words appeared on the collar of the dress, revealing a name Lucia had not come across before in her studied: Euphemia E. Webber. It was a british name, likely the one she had been looking for over the past weeks. A breath caught in her throat and she felt a thrill run through her with this new realization.

“The good news is that you have a new name to look into, and I can assure you there is no curse on the nightdress. Sometimes a dream is just a dream.”

Lucia smiled sadly and folded up the nightgown again, eager to return to the library and begin her research. She had a strong suspicion that even if the dress wasn’t going to curse her, it did belong to the person who had caused her family to have these dreams.

She was about to leave when she realized she had forgotten to ask an important question. “Severus?”

He looked up from his desk where he had began grading quizzes from his pour second year students.

“What if- Is it possible that you weren’t able to detect a specific spell. Perhaps a spell to detect possession, or other dark magic?”

“Lucia, I can assure you that I am very well versed in the dark arts. It takes very specific conditions for someone to be possessed, and as this is neither a horcrux or a cursed object, I can guarantee you that you are safe.”

He had called her Lucia. She couldn’t help but smile at him, though her questioning had not ended. “Have you ever been possessed before?”

“Besides an imperius curse or two, I have not. I know very few wizards who have been possessed and even fewer who have successfully broken the possession on their own. Ginny Weasley was possessed in her second year, and boy wonder Potter was possessed by The Dark Lord in the Battle of The Department of Mysteries and of course he successfully banished Voldemort from his mind.” Severus responded.

Lucia was thoughtful for a moment, considering this new information. Perhaps a more in depth conversation with Ginny was in her future. She was less sure how she could reach out to Potter, as he was no longer a student and she could not as easily convince him to help her. Hermione was clearly looking for something to do, but she was sure Potter was very busy with his new position in the auror’s department.

Either way, Lucia was happy to have a clear idea of what she needed to start looking into. The situation that felt hopeless this morning was starting to feel as if it may have an actual solution, and Lucia was loathe to admit that it wouldn’t be the case if she hadn’t told people the truth and asked for help.

Severus locked and sealed his office door and placed the stack of tests he had been grading in his top drawer. Lucia Sometimes was quite a mystery to him still. First she ignored him all morning and then by the evening she was coming to him for help regarding some family artifact. He looked back at the interaction and thought it to be odd. Normally people would not think twice about an item they owned appearing in their dreams, but Lucia seemed very concerned. And when he said that a dream is just a dream, her expression changed so something unreadable.

Severus wasn’t sure why he cared so much. He even found himself considering offering up his help in scouring the Hogwarts records for her after he saw her look of concentration. The way her brow crumpled up and she bit her lip when she was thinking reminded him of someone, though he couldn’t place who.

He couldn’t deny that he found her beautiful. Despite always looking like she had a rough night of it, her brown eyes always had a special warmth and spark behind them. She was small but not childlike and when she moved, though not particularly graceful, she moved with a purpose. It was hard to like someone, however, when they seemed to be keeping a secret.

Severus headed into his chambers, planning to read a few books for the evening. An idea struck him and he summoned a house elf.

“Hello Master Snape, how may I serve you this evening?” asked the Hogwarts elf. She was a particularly small elf, with a dress made out of an old curtain and a single clip on hoop earring.

“Good evening Sippy, I am quite well. I was wondering if I am correct in saying that you help Madam Pince in the library?”

“Yes sir, I have spent lots of time in the library over the years as I love books very much.”

“So do I, Sippy. Would you happen to know a way to find records of all students from previous school years?”

“Why yes! There are records all the way back to 900 AD. What year would you like?”

“That is the problem, I do not know the year. I only know a name.”

“Well there is a book that can sort the names alphabetically as well as by year, would that suffice?”

“That would be wonderful, Sippy. Could you deliver it to Professor Sometime’s room?”

“Of course sir, is there anything else you need?”

“No. You may return to Madam Pince after delivering the tomb.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The table has been set and we are heading into time jumps and fluff chapters. Thank you for the patience!


	9. To Be Caught In a Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucia receives excellent advise from Hermione and Severus's suspicions about Lucia come to a head.

[](https://ibb.co/1rJ8LN2)

The week had gone by relatively quickly all things considered and Lucia had made some headway on her research, almost entirely thanks to the book that appeared on her desk Tuesday evening. Lucia assumed that it was Hermione, planning to thank her at their meeting.

Unfortunately the name did not show up on any records, but that would make sense if Euphemia had moved to Italy before attending Hogwarts, essentially ending her magical education before it started. The most recent Webber on record graduated in 1232 and was named Isabella. There wasn't any information she could find about Isabella in any of the books dated around that time, but she hadn't gotten through all of them. The only information that she had gathered from the book was her name, age and that she was a Ravenclaw.

Lucia sat patiently through dinner, waiting for the meal to be over so she could discuss her findings with Hermione. Severus was absent on this specific evening and she couldn't help but note that he had been rather cold to her since Tuesday evening. Perhaps his apparent forgiveness of her snippy attitude was short lived and he was back to being angry with her, perhaps it was something else. Either way she was disappointed, having found their short conversations to be some of her favorite moments at Hogwarts.

She had discovered that she actually enjoyed teaching, though she was still intimidated by the sixth and seventh year students. Most, if not all, had been more than kind to her. She supposed it helped that they had chosen to be in her class and wished to pursue a field related to the subject, but Lucia also liked to think it was because she made thoughtful lesson plans and was an engaging teacher. Time would only tell when their exams came around.

Aurora had skipped this meal as well, probably to sleep a little extra as she had more classes on Friday than any other day of the week. Without the only two people she had really spoken to at the table, Lucia found herself sitting next to Flitwick discussing the choral arrangement for the memorial service.

"Really Filius, I don't think it's wise to just make every witch a soprano just because they are women." Lucia lectured, having overheard some of the older girls struggling with parts of the song that their younger counterparts were able to accomplish easily during their practice that week.

"What would you recommend?" He responded, obviously a bit irritated by her criticism.

"I would like to voice type each student and place them in either soprano, alto, tenor or bass harmonies. Usually a mezzo soprano will fit comfortably in either soprano or alto, so we can use them to bolster the altos."

Flitwick thought for a moment and nodded in approval before saying "I wish you would sing with some of the older students for the memorial."

"You know I feel strongly that it is not my place. I will happily support them but I am not going to sing with them."

The rest of dinner was spent discussing the thin line between transfigurations and charms and how they could possibly collaborate on certain classes, such as charms that transfigure like spells that change the color of objects or size.

Before she knew it, Lucia was heading back to her office and pulling up a chair in front of her desk to discuss her findings with Hermione.

The fellow curly haired witch arrived promptly after dinner ended, bringing a variety of books.

"Hello Miss. Granger, I hope your first week back at Hogwarts was good."

"To be frank professor, it's been a very difficult and emotional week. I know you weren't there for the battle, but I'm sure you can sense it."

Lucia had. Severus had mentioned in passing that he was brewing triple the amount of dreamless potions and even more calming droughts. Gawain had mentioned student's leaving in the middle of Defense Against the Dark Arts because of anxiety attacks. In the Frog Choir they had been trying to learn a traditional gaelic mourning song and many of the students began tearing up, making them opt for something less emotional.

"I understand. And though I was not involved in the battle, I tried to help with the cleanup as much as I could. It made me acutely aware of everything that was lost and the bravery of those who fought." Lucia hoped her admiration was felt through her words, as she genuinely regarded the young woman to be a far superior witch and all around person to herself.

"You can imagine many of the young Gryffindors are looking to me and Ginny. I don't think they realize that we are also having a difficult time."

Lucia tried to imagine the young redhead having a difficult time with anything, as she had shown herself to be as fiery as her hair.

"Have you discussed this with your head of house?" Lucia inquired, trying to remember who had replaced McGonagall after she was promoted to Headmistress.

"Gryffindor currently does not have a head of house. Hagrid has informally taken on the role, but there has been talk of Professor Sprout retiring next year and Neville Longbottom taking her place, so I imagine he may get the role."

"I'm sorry Hermione, I can't imagine how difficult it is to bear the burden of your house." Lucia realized her mistake corrected herself. "I mean, Ms. Granger. My apologies."

"You don't need to apologize. Hermione is perfectly acceptable."

"Well then you may call me Lucia."

"I will try to remember that."

"Perfect! So first I would like to thank you for sending me this." Lucia held up the thick book. "It was a wealth of-"

Hermione cut her off. "I didn't send you that book, Professor. Err Lucia."

Lucia looked confused for a moment before realization hit her. Severus. He had the book delivered to her.

That explained why he had been inexplicably pouting since Tuesday night. He truly was like a whining child feeling like he didn't receive the attention he deserved. While she was loathe to admit that he deserved thanks, she knew she should reach out to him.

Lucia turned her attention back to Hermione before saying "Oh, well that was my mistake. I shouldn't have assumed that it was you, given that you don't know anything about what I'm researching."

Lucia went on to explain the situation, further giving Hermione the name she had found in the book as well as showing her the nightgown.

"Very curious that a charm made by a dead woman has lasted this long." Hermione commented.

"You are not the first person to have said that." Lucia muttered, remembering Severus saying the same thing.

"Have you been looking through books from that time period?" Hermione asked.

"Yes but I have yet to find anything about the Webber family. It is also curious that Euphemia had the same last name as Isabella. I tried to see if Isabella had any male relatives, but there are none in the records. I suspect that perhaps she changed her name for some reason and moved to Italy. But that's assuming that she immigrated. She may have married and had a child by another name. Either way, at least I have a starting point."

"Why are you so interested in knowing about this specific woman?" Hermione questioned.

Lucia sighed. Everyone seemed to ask her questions she could only answer in partial truths. "My family on that side has some unusual magic which I would like to trace back." It wasn't a lie but she hoped it would satisfy her curiosity.

Hermione furrowed her brow in thought and looked at Lucia as if expecting more of an answer. When Lucia did not continue, Hermione turned back to the book and looked at the name.

"Ravenclaw. Perhaps you can ask the grey lady? Harry found her quite helpful. She may remember Isabella."

"Do you really think a ghost would remember that far back? She must have had nearly a thousand students in her house at this point?"

"Perhaps if she had these unusual skills that you have she would have made an impression?"

"You would think she'd turn up in a book if that were the case. Besides, doesn't the Grey Lady only speak to students in Ravenclaw?"

"It still would be worth asking. She spends time around the Ravenclaw tower and I know Luna Lovegood speaks with her sometimes. I'll let Luna know you wish to speak with Helena. She'd be happy to help."

Lucia thought for a moment about the endearingly odd blonde girl. People were getting increasingly more involved with her investigation by the day and she was inclined to believe that though they may not be in immediate danger, there was potential that they could be hurt.

"Thank you very much Hermione. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your help. I think I will speak with Luna about the Grey Lady."

"Before I go could I ask you a question?" Hermione asked.

"Of course! I am, after all, a professor."

"What is the tattoo on your left ring finger?" She gestured to the tattoo of tangled ropes wrapped around Lucia's digit.

"It's the gordian knot, symbol of the Horned Serpent. In Greek legend, it was said to be an unsolvable puzzle, impossible to untangle. Alexander the Great solved it by cutting the rope." Lucia smiled fondly, touching the tattoo. "But perhaps more importantly, it is my wedding ring."

"Oh I didn't realize you are married!" Hermione exclaimed.

"He passed away a few years ago. I know, I'm a young widow." Lucia smiled as if to comfort Hermione who had suddenly turned ashamed of her statement. "Now the knot means something different to me. It represents how our lives are impossible to untangle. Even in death he is a part of me. Especially in death. You may find that even those who leave us will reappear in the moments that matter most."

"That sounds like something Dumbledore would say."

"Yes well, he did give me quite a few speeches about death after Ryan passed away." Lucia chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

"Does missing him get easier?" Hermione asked.

Lucia knew she wasn't just asking about Ryan, but rather about death as a whole. "I was so angry after he died because no one wanted to talk about him with me. I missed him so much and all I wanted was someone who knew him to tell me some beautiful thing he did for them. He was such a good man. I will never know half of the kindness he gave to this world. After awhile I just started telling people about him, anyone who'd listen. He deserves to be remembered and that makes me feel like he is still here in some ways."

"Would you consider remarrying?"

Lucia laughed. "I barely considered myself the marrying type to begin with, but I suppose so, with the right person. They would have to know that they can't replace him though. I don't want someone to take up the space he has in my heart. I want someone to make a new space."

"I understand." Hermione nodded. "One of my friends lost her boyfriend. I know it's not the same, but could she come talk to you sometime if she wanted?"

Lucia smiled kindly. "Of course. And if you ever need to talk I'm happy to take time as well. No problem too small, no sadness too little, no cut too shallow. Alright?"

"Alright." Hermione agreed.

Lucia sat in silence for a moment after Hermione left, letting the conversation sink in. She had been so caught up in her own problems that she had nearly forgotten the immense tragedy that the school went through in the past year. She remembered Severus and how he always seemed like he was moments away from breaking down, either in anger or sadness. Perhaps she was a bit harsh to accuse him of acting like a child.

Over the course of the next day Lucia did some research on the Grey Lady, learning about her jealousy of her mother, the violent and obsessive Baron of Slytherin house, the diadem she had stolen and her tragic murder. She hoped her association with the same house as the Bloody Baron would not count against her.

She glanced at the clock. It was nearly time for patrols with Severus. The last time she went with him was rather unpleasant. He kept walking ahead of her at a grueling pace, something Lucia had learned to associate with him having a fit and not wanting to talk about whatever was bothering him.

As it was a Saturday, Lucia had opted to wear her normal clothes. It was rather chilly in the castle, even in early September, so she put on a long sleeve flannel over a camisole and paired it with jeans and sneakers. If she were back in America, Emily would have made a comment about her looking like a cliche bisexual. Lucia pulled her hair back in a ponytail, not caring too much about it being neat, and headed down into the dungeons to start the rounds.

Severus was waiting in his office in his typical attire. It would figure that she would be the only staff member to take advantage of the casual weekend attire.

"I see you have decided to be the consummate professional." He commented, looking her up and down.

Lucia rolled her eyes and resisted the urge to put up her middle finger. "It's not my fault I'm not incredibly dull."

"At least I don't frivolously spend money on clothing."

"You wouldn't think it was frivolous if you saw my lingerie drawer." Lucia gave him that god awful wink.

Severus had to actively suppress the blush he felt rising to his cheeks.

"By the way," Lucia started, casually looking at her fingernails. "I wanted to thank you for the book. I must confess I didn't peg you as the willingly helpful type so I assumed it was Hermione that gave it to me."

"On first name terms with Granger I see?" Severus said through clenched teeth.

"I can't help that I'm innately nice and likable." She shot him a smirk. "Besides, she is a very smart young woman and has given me some invaluable leads."

"Did you find the name you were looking for?" Severus asked as they began walking down the hallway, occasionally peaking into classrooms.

"Unfortunately the person that owned that nightgown was never a student. However, there was someone in Ravenclaw with the same surname." Lucia continued to explain what she had discovered, happy that he was talking with her again.

"What do you hope to discover down this line of inquiry?" Severus asked.

"I'd… I'd like to know about her. About why she left England if it was her." Lucia was lying and Severus could tell, but there was no professional way to accuse her of that.

They entered the trophy room and Lucia immediately felt a chill rush over her. It was eerily silent and the reflections on the glass and metal of the trophy cases were extremely disconcerting. She felt herself inch closer to Severus, hoping he didn't notice how close she suddenly was to him.

A loud bang sounded from the other end of the room, followed by a shriek and the clanging of metal.

Lucia screamed and pressed herself into Severus's arm, placing a hand on his chest. She felt tears wicking at her eyelids, threatening to spill over. Lucia was not a brave woman, afterall.

Severus let out a chuckle and Lucia looked up at him in confusion.

"Peeve's, our resident poltergeist. It seems he wants to give you an initiation." He smiled down at her before he remembered that she was pressed flush against him and coughed.

Lucia stepped back from him embarrassed, her pale skin turning hot and red in the cold night air.

"Little Liar Lucy telling her tales, what will she do if she fails?" Peeves called as he floated by them. "Doesn't she know that in Hogwarts halls, ghosties can listen, even through walls." The smug poltergeist snickered as it disappeared through a trophy case, leaving Lucia mortified.

"What does he mean?" Asked Severus, his eyes narrowing at her suspiciously.

"I have no idea." Lucia lied, even more unconvincing than she was earlier.

"You're a terrible liar."

Lucia wanted to tell him she knew. She wanted to tell him she was sorry. She wanted to tell him the truth even, if only to get him to stop looking at her with the cold expression he held in that moment.

"I can't tell you Severus." She pleaded.

"Don't call me Severus." His voice was stern and unforgiving.

"I wish I didn't have to lie to you but I have to. You can ask McGonagall. I'm no danger to the students. I just- I can't tell you." She said, tears starting to flow down her cheeks. She didn't want him to hate her and she thought if he knew he would. But it seemed like he already did despise her.

Lucia felt a presence pressing against her mine and a few flashes of his first death appeared in her vision. Him in the Shrieking Shack, Nagini striking him over and over again, him bleeding out and finally dying.

Lucia pushed him out of her mind with all the force she could muster and yelled hoarsely through her tears "How dare you! How fucking dare you!"

Severus looked shocked, unsure how to process the glimpse of her mind that he had seen. That wasn't what happened. He had the potion and he had lived.

"But that- that's not how it happened." Severus said.

"I don't have to explain this to you. You invaded my mind. You're a fucking bastard." Lucia turned sharply and started walking back toward her chambers.

Severus took about two strides and caught her arm. He turned her face with his hand to look at him and tilted his head to the side in question. "I died?"

Lucia sighed, knowing that this conversation was happening whether she wanted it to or not.

"Yes. Well no. You would have if I hadn't told Albus." Lucia went on to explain her dreams, letting him know about her arrangement with Dumbledore and the subsequent alterations he had made to events but made sure not to include the most recent dream. "I have told more people in the past week about this god damn so called gift than I have in my entire life."

Severus was silent for a moment. "Why didn't you tell me this when we met?"

"Because I didn't want you to look at me like this. Look at me like I'm some sort of entity other than a human." Lucia said. "And I didn't want you to hate me."

"You saved my life, even though it wasn't a life worth saving."

"Dumbledore saved your life." She corrected. "I simply let him know that it needed saving."

"But why the sudden almost frantic interest in this nightgown and your family history?"

"I'd like the curse to stop." She had started telling half truths again, almost as if it were second nature. Perhaps it was second nature at this point. "It does not feel like a gift anymore. I have done good with it and I would like to be done."

Severus nodded, knowing what kind of burden knowing someone's fate was.

Lucia's eyes softened, much of the rage from earlier having left her. "I saw the Potters die. I was just a kid, it was before I even knew the dreams were real. Most of my dreams have been British families, from the beginning. I knew I needed to come here to find how they began and hopefully how to stop them."

Severus looked away from her, a pained expression flashing across his face for a moment before it resumed his neutral, cold facade. "Perhaps it is best if I finish patrols for the evening. Alone."

Lucia nodded in understanding. "Will you at least take me back to my chambers? I know it was just Peeve's but I'm a bit shaken."

Severus sighed but agreed. The walk back to her chambers was silent aside from their footsteps and the occasional sniffle from Lucia.

When they reached her door, Lucia glanced up at him, noting he looked like he had aged five years since their evening began. She had the sudden urge to caress his cheek, but instead she settled for squeezing his upper arm and giving him a small smile.

"Goodnight Severus."

"Goodnight Lucia."

She entered her chambers and closed her eyes tightly. In no way did this evening, or this week for that matter, go as planned. But she couldn't stop herself from thanking Merlin that he still called her Lucia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments! It's really encouraging to know people are enjoying this story. I'm loving writing it, hence the frequent updates.
> 
> Lil bit of touchy touchy in this chapter. I foresee more substantial fluff perhaps by the 12th chapter? You can guess what substantial means.


	10. To Mourn and Drink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucia and Severus attend the memorial and Lucia drinks too much.

Meals with Severus had been rather awkward, with both of them unsure of how to interact after the night in the trophy room. Severus still did not know about her most recent dream involving his death, but he was at least less suspicious of her intentions. She had felt a weird emotional intimacy between them afterward and felt it was best if that feeling was left unexplored. They had even started walking separate routes on their patrols, only meeting up at the beginning and end to let the other know what students were in need of a detention.

Lucia had only caught one student, a Slytherin by the name of Cecilia Prescott. Her hair was ruffled and she was adjusting her skirt in the hallway when Lucia spotted her.

"Kind of a shitty boyfriend if he won't even walk you back to your common room?" Lucia asked, shocking the young woman.

"Yeah well, what's new." The girl muttered after a moment.

"I think you should hold him to a higher standard."

"As if he would want to walk in with a halfblood." She scoffed.

"Look, I don't claim to have particularly high standards. Merlin knows I was a lot of people's dirty secret at one point or another. But I do know it doesn't feel good to be someone's secret."

"Aren't you going to take away house points or give me detention?" The girl spat.

"Seems like that guy is punishment enough for you."

Lucia reflected on the conversation, hoping the girl had taken her advice but she had a sneaking suspicion that she had not. Fortunately she had better luck with her actual students.

After her meeting with the seventh years Hermione had quietly asked if she could speak with Lucia, asking in confidence if the mandrake leaf would make her taste bad when she kissed her boyfriend.

Lucia laughed, realizing that Ron Weasley would likely be at the memorial.

"I can assure you, he has missed you so much that he won't mind."

Hermione nodded, placing the mandrake leaf in her mouth and grimacing at the taste.

As she had anticipated, one student opted out entirely once they tasted the leaf. The bitter taste of the plant did not dissipate over the month, and she made sure to warn them of this, having a strong recollection of the flavor still ten years later. She also told them the taste went particularly poorly with beer, though she advised they not let any of the other staff members know she had informed them of this.

Lucia looked over her office at the mess she had already made. Papers were strewn across the room, with general piles allocated to each year. Her lesson plans lay on her desk in disarray due to her deciding to rearrange some lessons for the year, and she had books everywhere.

There was still no mention of Euphemia or Isabella in any of the books she had read, indicating either a painfully average witch or one purposefully stricken from them. That left the Grey Lady as Lucia's only option moving forward.

It was the Friday of the memorial and Lucia had essentially no progress with the Grey Lady. Her best attempt had ended with eye contact, but primarily Helena Ravenclaw just floated through the nearest wall every time Lucia had attempted to speak with her.

Hermione explained that He Who Shall Not Be Named had tricked her into giving him the location of her mother's diadem and she had since started to think Slytherins were the root of all evil. Lucia had tried her hardest to explain the situation to Helena, but the ghost seemed to easily tune her out and disappear before she could get very far.

Lucia had finally caved, deciding she would need to speak with Luna Lovegood. Luna wasn't a student that she had a particular opinion of. She seemed odd, which was a quality Lucia always appreciated in a person. To be unabashedly different was something Lucia was all too familiar with, having spent most of her years at Ilvermorny with purple hair and an attitude that had only marginally improved over time. But the timing was bad. She couldn't ask her on the day of the memorial service.

She glanced in her mirror, assessing her all black outfit. It looked out of place with her typically at least somewhat colorful wardrobe and she couldn't help but feel like it looked foreign on her. The only black dress she owned was a black form fitting pencil dress with a crisscross halter. She had transfigured it to have a more conservative neckline, opting instead for a high collar. Lucia considered adding sleeves but figured her black robes would cover her arms and tattoos well enough.

The ceremony was being held in the great hall where the statue would be revealed before being moved to the courtyard. She knew there would be speakers but she wasn't entirely sure who. Perhaps Harry Potter, whom Lucia had never met or even thought to meet despite his importance.

She had, of course, read every article preening about him in Witch Weekly, which may have turned her a bit sour toward him. Lucia had always had a fondness for the underappreciated underdogs.

The Great Hall was crowded when she arrived, with many of the older students as well as members of the ministry and various individuals who had been involved in the war already milling about. She scanned the crowd for a familiar face and recognized a few people she had dreamed about, including Sirius Black.

He looked like he had actually seen the sun over the summer. The pale skin she had seen in her dream had achieved a slight tan and his hair had more lustre. She imagined the wrinkles around his eyes may actually be from happiness now, rather than a face crumpled in pain and fear from Azkaban.

Her eyes continued on the room, landing on Severus standing in a back corner of the hall. He was already looking at her, a solemn and brooding expression on his face.

She approached him, hoping it would be alright with him if she stayed by him during the ceremony. He wore what he always wore, but he looked as if he had actually washed his hair that day. She considered for a moment that he looked especially handsome.

"You did something with your hair." He commented as she stood next to him.

Lucia looked at him surprised. "You noticed! Yes I decided to tame the beast with a potion that Hermione recommended to me." She ran a finger through her curls, something she was usually not able to do.

"It looks… beautiful either way."

"Why Severus, I knew you liked them wild." Lucia teased, before sobering up when she remembered the setting. "I'm terrible at these things. I never know what to say."

"I can't imagine why you would have to say anything." Severus raised an eyebrow at her.

"I can't imagine either but I always end up opening my mouth anyway."

Severus stayed silent for a moment before he said under his breath. "I've got a flask." and tapped the left side of his robes.

"Sweet mother of Merlin I knew I liked you for a reason." Lucia smiled widely at him.

He carefully handed her the flask, standing in front of her so she wouldn't be seen.

"Holy shit what is this?" Lucia choked out, wiping her mouth with her sleeve.

"Ogden's Old Firewhiskey." Severus replied.

"Fucking foul." She took another swig.

Severus chuckled at her, taking a drink of his own when she handed it back. It was going to be a long evening. He knew Harry was speaking and he had anticipated having at least an unpleasant time. At least with Lucia he knew he might enjoy it a bit more.

The ceremony began with The Frog Choir, which Lucia begrudgingly stood in front of, encouragingly smiling at the students before remembering that she should not be smiling. They sang a beautiful traditional choral piece that involved no words, only complex harmonies.

After the performance, Lucia returned to Severus's side, silenting requesting the flask again.

"They sound better than previous years."

"Yes well there are a few notable singers in the group. They are carrying the melody and fortunately the other students are following."

The new Minister for Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt, stood up at the podium, giving a solemn speech regarding the lives lost in the battle and mentioning specific individuals lost by name. Severus could see Lucia becoming more and more uncomfortable next to him. She was shifting side to side, running her hands through her hair.

He looked at her in question and she whispered back "I hate crowds. I get claustrophobic."

Severus nodded in understanding before giving her a bit of space, as they had huddled close for easy access to the flask.

"No stay near me." Lucia said. "I feel better with you next to me."

He shifted back, giving her a sidelong glance.

Harry Potter took the stage next, and Severus watched Lucia begin to actually pay attention to the ceremony, much to his dismay.

"Seventeen years ago this October, my parents were murdered viciously by Lord Voldemort in his pursuit of power. I was chosen to be his enemy at the age of one year old. From that day forward I had a fate unknown to me."

"I did not choose this battle or this war. I did not choose to fight. I did not choose to die. Fate had decided all this for me. The true heroes are those we lost and those who had the choice to fight and did."

"We owe everything to the people who died, or nearly died," Harry glanced at Severus causing him to stiffen "while protecting the future of the entire world. If there is anything I have learned from Hogwarts, it is that love is the most powerful magic of all. It is what saved me from Voldemort, what brought me back to live, and what ultimately killed him. It is something he never understood or was capable of and it is what will ensure that no witch or wizard like him will ever rise again."

"So with love and friendship and hope we must move forward, never forgetting those we lost and choosing to forgive those who have been missguided by darkness. We shall bring darkness to light and fight hatred with love and humility."

Lucia was tempted to roll her eyes but knew it was in bad taste, choosing instead to turn to Severus and ask "Well that was melodramatic. Hog's Head after this?"

Severus looked at her confused. "It isn't Hogsmeade weekend?"

"Isn't every weekend Hogsmeade weekend when you're a grown ass adult?"

A few people had started to glance back at them and Lucia quieted her voice. "There's that 'opening my mouth' thing I was talking about."

Lucia was not incorrect. As a professor, Severus was not limited to the Hogwarts grounds like a student and could come and go as he pleased as long as he was completing his duties. But he seldom left the grounds unless he was going to restock his ingredients or meet with the Malfoys, and he had certainly never been invited to drinks with a colleague.

Harry's speech had ended and the minister had gotten back on the podium. He began reading a list of names of the lives lost as well as their ages.

Lucia sobered considerably, slowly tearing up as the magnitude of the lives lost began to overwhelm her. There were at least 50 names and by midway through she grabbed Severus' hand and let out a quiet sob.

Severus looked at her sadly, wondering how many she had seen die. It was interesting that she was not desensitized to death, since, from what she had explained, it had been a large part of her life.

Lucia felt him squeeze her hand and looked up at him. He looked much the same as he always did: serious and composed. She immediately felt embarrassed by herself falling to pieces and tried to pull her hand back, but Severus held tight.

The list ended and a moment of silence was held for those fallen. McGonagall finally stood in front of everyone, expressing her gratitude at their attendance and finally unveiling the statue.

It was a golden figure of an angel holding the hand of a child. Severus to found it to be rather gaudy and, as Lucia stated earlier, melodramatic.

"Oh dear god." Lucia muttered. "That's horrible."

"At least it isn't of Potter." Severus murmured, taking another drink from the flask.

"I heard a muggle saying once. I believe it was 'let's blow this ice cream truck.'"

"Popsicle stand." Severus corrected.

"Well either way let's get out of here." She started walking toward the front doors, her hand still in Severus's.

He heard someone call his name but he followed her instead, for a moment falling into her carefree nature.

"I would normally recommend The Three Broomsticks but last time I was there, I left with a cat." Lucia said as they entered the Hog's Head.

It was still relatively empty, but Aberforth eyed them suspiciously regardless, still not entirely trusting Snape.

Lucia sauntered up to the bar, placing her elbows on the counter before saying in a sickly sweet tone "I would like one wine please."

Aberforth was not amused and Severus considered intervening, but the man pulled out a surprisingly clean wine glass and filled it to the brim.

"Oh dear, I do like you." Lucia winked, sipping a bit off the top of the glass before carrying it over to a booth in the corner.

Severus approached the bar with trepidation, hoping Aberforth would not kick him out of the bar as he did 18 years ago. "Ogden's Old please, on the rocks."

Aberforth mumbled something while pulling out a less than clean glass. Severus heard Lucia call out a scourgify spell from the booth and watched the glass turn sparklingly clear right before Aberforth dropped some ice cubes in it.

Severus carried his drink over to Lucia, sitting down next to her in the round booth. They had a good view of the door which Severus was thankful for. He always preferred being able to watch the entrance and exits.

"That's a lovely dress." Severus commented as she took her robe off, complaining about feeling warm.

"Oh thank you! It actually doesn't look like this." And with a wave of her wand the neckline changed to something that showed off just a bit of cleavage. "I just figured this would not be memorial appropriate." She gestured to the straps that wrapped around her neck.

"No I suppose not." Severus said, trying not to let his eyes travel too far down as to be obvious.

They fell into an easy conversation about the animagus potion, planning to meet on their rounds near the forest to collect some dew. Severus informed Lucia that he knew someone who sold Death's-head Hawk Moth chrysalis in Diagon Alley and planned to go in the next week.

Lucia immediately looked excited. "Can I come! I've never been to Diagon Alley." She cried, clasping her hands together in excitement. "New York doesn't have little alcoves like that for witches and wizards. Our apothecary was just some dingey little shop attached to a Walgreens."

"What on earth is a Walgreens."

"Oh it's magical Severus. There is so much candy!" Lucia went on to describe aisle after aisle of confectionary treats when they heard the doors open and voices approach.

They both looked up and saw Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Sirius, Remus, Tonks and Neville enter. Severus's expression turned sour and he considered leaving before looking back at Lucia. He had been enjoying their evening together, even thinking it reminded him of a date. Not that he'd ever had a date before.

Lucia was glancing between Sirius and the Lupins, obviously thinking about something he wasn't privy to. The idea that she perhaps knew them crossed his mind and he immediately became uncomfortable.

Hermione approached their table first, quietly explaining that they had received permission from Headmistress McGonagall to be in Hogsmeade after hours.

Lucia who was already halfway through her wine glass waved it off. "I wouldn't give a shit anyway. How's the kissing?"

Hermione blushed and glanced at Ron who was waving her down at the bar before scurrying off.

"That was highly inappropriate." Severus commented, once again amused by Lucia.

"Yeah well she's probably more of an adult than I am at this point so who cares." She waved her hand in dismissal before finishing off her glass and standing up to go back to the bar. "Do you want another?" She asked, gesturing to his nearly empty glass.

Severus handed it off to her. A few other patrons entered the bar, presumably from the memorial as they were all dressed in black as well.

Harry was the next to approach and Severus nearly bolted, finding that the evening was beginning to be ruined.

"Hello Professor." Harry greeted, a nervous smile on his lips and his hands stuffed into his pockets.

"Potter." Severus said, actually trying to hold back the disdain on his lips.

"I never heard back from you on any of my letters."

"I can assure you it was on purpose."

"You don't have to say anything, but I feel like I never got to properly thank you."

"For what exactly? Turning in the prophecy? Sending you to your death? Let me guess, for being a fine Professor."

Severus looked behind Harry toward the bar where Lucia was being approached by Sirius. She had an expression that could only be described as a deer caught in the crosshairs.

"No sir. I wanted to thank you for everything you sacrificed. For letting the world believe you were someone else. And for doing the right thing."

Severus dismissed the words almost immediately, choosing instead to watch Lucia as she subtly avoided Sirius trying to engage her in conversation, choosing instead to turn to Hermione.

"Lucia, why didn't the Frog Choir sing the ballad I heard them practicing last week?" Hermione asked. She had overheard rehearsal in the great hall while she was studying.

"They were getting a bit too emotional. Crying during a performance is bad for the voice." Lucia said matter of factly.

"Would you mind singing it?"

"I really don't think that's appropriate." Lucia said.

Sirius interrupted the conversation. "We're in a bar. There is no place more appropriate for a song than here."

Lucia looked to Severus and noticed him watching her before she turned back to Hermione. "Ok but I don't know how it will go. To be perfectly honest I'm kind of drunk. I always think I sound great when I'm drunk."

Hermione smiled and gestured for her to continue.

Lucia stood back from the group, giving herself a wide berth to project over them and began to sing.

"Oh all the money that e'er I spent

I spent it in good company

And all the harm that e'er I've done

Alas, it was to none but me

And all I've done for want of wit

To memory now I can't recall

So fill to me the parting glass

Good night and joy be with you all

Oh all the comrades that e'er I've had

Are sorry for my going away

And all the sweethearts that e'er I've had

Would wish me one more day to stay

But since it falls unto my lot

That I should rise and you should not

I'll gently rise and I'll softly call

Good night and joy be with you all"

A few people had joined in with her singing. The song was a traditional irish mourning song and many wizards and witches alike knew it. Severus noted that she looked a bit embarrassed to be put on the spot like that, though she had no reason to. She was a gifted singer.

Lucia finished the song with a long drink of wine and smiled politely when people applauded before heading back to Severus.

"I'm sorry Severus but can we go?" She said uncomfortably.

"That was beautiful." Said Harry. "I'm Harry Potter."

"Oh I know." Lucia said with a laugh. "I'm sorry that was aggressive. I'm drunk. And I'm also Lucia Sometimes, new Transfigurations professor. Oh I shouldn't have told you that. I have no relationship to the school. I am not drunk." Lucia was babbling nervously now, a blush creeping down her neck onto her chest.

Severus stood and she grabbed his arm, causing a few people in the group to look at them with interest.

"I believe this is goodbye Potter." Severus said.

"Goodbye." Potter replied, clearly disappointed.

"Goodbye! Goodbye Hermione! Goodbye Ginny! Goodbye people I have only just met." She waved her hands above her head. "And goodbye my dear Aberforth, thank you for pouring my drinks so tall."

Severus smiled down at the petite woman, noting that she seemed to be entirely oblivious to the looks she was getting. He glanced up at Sirius, noting the wizard was eyeing them with confusion.

Even though Severus and Lucia were not involved romantically, Severus was pleased that Sirius had gotten that impression. He also felt comforted knowing that she had not seemed interested in him, the redeemed bad boy, the rebellious Black.

"Oh dear I am unsteady." Lucia commented as she walked on the cobblestone path through Hogsmeade.

"Would you prefer to apparate? I didn't ever get that second glass so I'm fully able to."

"Oh no I'm sorry, I'm the worst." Lucia cried. "You can apparate into the castle?"

"Yes, it's a special allowance made to me by Dumbledore that was never removed. I can only apparate to my chambers."

"Take me home, Handsome!" Lucia said dramatically, pressing herself into his side and holding onto his arm.

With a crack they were in his chambers which he had thankfully tidied earlier that day.

Lucia was dizzy for a moment, having not apparated for quite some time. She glanced around the room, taking in the decor, or lack thereof. But mostly she was interested in the books.

She began flipping through the novel on his bedside, a muggle book by the name of Ulysses.

"I'm drunk or this doesn't make sense." Lucia said, frowning at the nonsense on the page.

"Both of these things are true." Severus replied.

Lucia laughed, approaching him before delicately flicking his nose with her finger.

"You know, I hated today. I hate memorials and funerals and I especially hated this one."

"I could tell."

"But you made everything so much better, so much more fun! You make everything better." Lucia was pouting as she was complimenting.

"You act almost as if it was a bad thing." Severus chuckled.

"It is a bad thing. I'm not supposed to like you." Lucia said.

"What do you mean?"

"I told myself not to because who knows, you know?"

"I don't know."

"Hmm well, that's probably for the best isn't it." She winked at him and stumbled a bit as she went to sit on his bed.

"I think you need some sobering solution."

Lucia laid down on the bed, letting her skirt ride up and sighed "You're probably right."

Severus summoned the potion and encouraged her to sit up before helping her drink from the vial.

Within a few moments Lucia's face went from a sleepy relaxation to something close to mortification.

"I am so sorry." Lucia said, hiding her face in her hands.

"You don't need to be sorry. I had a great time."

Lucia's mouth was wide open as she remembered the evening. "I was so drunk. Oh god, Hermione! Was that Harry Potter?"

Severus chuckled. "Yes it was."

"Oh merlin Severus, I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I'm the worst. I'm such a horrible drinker. I shouldn't have dragged you into drunk Lucia's business."

Severus grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. "I said that you didn't need to be sorry." He released her face, noticing a warmth rising up his neck. "Are you able to make it back to your chambers?" He asked.

Lucia cleared her throat. "Yes I believe I can thanks to you." and began heading for the door. "Severus, even though I am an actual monster, I did have a great time."

"Me too, Lucia." And with that she returned to her quarters, closing the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you reading!  
> The song is Parting Glass. I recommend the Wailin Jenny’s version but there are lots of others.
> 
> All comments are appreciated! I want to be sure you guys are enjoying the story. Thank you!


	11. To Dream Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucia meets with Luna finally and has another dream.

September had passed in a hurry. Between grading homework and tests and finding that she was particularly ill equipped for avoiding emotional involvement with potential murder victims, Lucia was fairly stressed. She hadn’t even been able to approach Luna regarding the Grey Lady.

Perhaps it was somewhat an avoidance. If she did not face the problem, it wasn’t there. This was a classic Lucia tactic. It’s how she forgot to do dishes for 3 months by simply not looking at her kitchen, and how she managed to not ever plan a memorial for Ryan. Unfortunately living beings were harder to forget about, and Severus was relentlessly kind and wonderful in his unusual way.

She had noticed that her coffee was always prepared as she liked it when she arrived at breakfast. When she had made a comment about it, presuming the house elves were particularly patient, Severus said that he just prepared it when he made his tea.

They had gone to collect dew on one of their patrols and he had been very careful to stand between her and the forest, warning her that there were a variety of monsters that only came out at night. Hagrid had warned her about the giant spiders which had made Lucia shiver in fear at the time. She never trusted anything that had more than 4 legs.

Most recently she had gone into her chambers and found a record player and various albums with a note explaining he hadn’t listened to it in a long time.

Lucia imagined for a moment inviting him over for drinks and records, perhaps putting on some french music. She had to remind herself that getting close to him, at least until she figured out the dream, was probably a bad idea.

Instead Lucia invited Aurora over and they drank a cheap bottle of wine Lucia had purchased at the first Hogsmeade weekend. They both agreed it was disgusting, finishing the entire bottle while listening to the most recent Weird Sisters album in preparation for the Yule Ball.

“Myron is such a handsome man.” Aurora commented, her eyes lingering on a picture in the album leaflet of the lead singer shirtless on stage serenading the audience.

“Don’t tell him that; his ego is already big enough.” Lucia commented.

‘You knew Myron as well as the bassist?”

Lucia sighed, realizing she’d have to explain. “I opened for them when they toured the East Coast of America. I took some time off from MACUSA after-after Ryan died and I decided to pursue music more seriously than I had before. I was never famous per say but I paid my bills. Opening for them was probably my best gig. They’re nice guys!” Lucia said.

“How come you never told me that before? Did you have a band or were you a one woman show?”

“It just feels a bit silly in retrospect. I always felt a bit like an impostor doing music.” Lucia said, remembering the pit in her gut whenever she tried to take herself seriously as a musician. “And yes, I did have a band behind me but the music was just under my name. I wrote all the parts with some help from friends. They were credited on the album.”

“Could you play some for me?”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to track it down on your own. I find listening to my own music to be one of my least favorite activities.” Lucia decided to change the topic. “But the Weird Sisters were always very nice to me. And a bunch of fucking heathens. Merlin I’d never seen so much Firewhiskey consumed and haven’t since.”

“I know you had relations with the bassist, but did you ever sleep with Myron?”

“No, Myron was not my type.” In truth he was gay, something he was relatively open about to his friends but kept under wraps publically. But that wasn’t Lucia’s secret to tell.

“And the bassist is?” Aurora flipped to a page with Donaghan Tremlett. “He’s just so greasy looking.”

Lucia glanced at the picture of him and noticed his long oily hair and black eyeliner smudged all over his cheeks. It struck Lucia for a moment that perhaps she did have a type after all.

Ryan had been admittedly more conventionally handsome than Severus, with his always perfectly styled hair and roguish smile. Like her, Ryan was part Italian but had a much darker complexion and she always suspected there might be other ethnicities in his background, especially when she looked at his dramatically rounded nose. He wasn’t very tall, unlike Severus, reaching 5’9” but still towering above her, even in heels. But Lucia had always been the most attracted to his eyes. They reflected a youthful exuberance that he practiced every day. For their first wedding anniversary they took a trip to Las Vegas to see what the Muggles enjoyed spending all their money on. Lucia spent most of it with a shrewd cynicism, touching the gold statues and noting they were made of plastic and scoffing at the price tag of everything. Ryan had a very different attitude.

“I just want to look at everything!” he exclaimed, staring at the fountains in front of them and smiling widely at her.

She couldn’t help but smile back. “I wonder how they did that without magic.” She said as she looked at the complex series of choreographed fountains that synced perfectly with classical music.

“Muggles have a magic of their own, don’t you think?” Ryan said, grabbing her hand and pulling her on to the next attraction. “Do you want to see some naked women tonight? I hear that’s a thing they do here?”

“Ryan I am offended you would ask.” Lucia scoffed. “Of course I want to see naked women. When have you known me to not want to see naked women?”

Over the years his excitement and joy for life had rubbed off on her. When he met her when she was angry and sad. Just barely out of school and all her family had died. He recognized immediately a strong spirit that wasn’t quite broken within her, but had been turned into a caged dragon.

When he passed she had almost lost the spirit he had awakened in her. But instead of disappearing, it had just darkened. She found the people she was attracted to tended to be more jaded, perhaps because she felt she could be more understood by them. So when Donaghan handed her a shot of Firewhiskey and sat down next to her, just drinking and staring at the wall, Lucia had decided that he was exactly the kind of guy she wanted to sleep with.

It turned out that he had just dealt with a difficult breakup with a woman that he had since gotten back together with and even married. Lucia was happy for him, remembering he seemed very emotionally unstable at the time.

Lucia turned her attention back to Aurora, who had become immersed in the music. “Like I told you before, bassists have strong hands.”

Aurora let out a sharp laugh before covering her mouth before asking “Does Severus have strong hands?”

Lucia flushed, taking a long sip of the dreadful wine. “I am sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“He makes your coffee for you.”

“I think he’s just being nice.”

“I have never known Severus to be just nice.”

“Perhaps the war changed him.”

“If anything he has been more of a social recluse with the other staff.”

Lucia sighed, knowing she wasn’t going to convince her otherwise. “I think he sees me as someone who understands him. We both lost someone we loved very much. And we both have a lot of guilt because of it.”

“Why would you feel guilty? It was an accident? You couldn’t have done anything?”

“Maybe I could have. Who knows?”

“I know. You couldn’t have done anything.”

Lucia couldn’t tell her she was wrong and instead stayed silent for a moment. “I do like him, you know.” She confided. “I’m just not sure the timing is good.”

“It’s been years since Ryan passed away.”

“Grief has its own timing. And there are other things.”

“Is there someone else.”

Lucia snorted at the comment. “God no. Besides, who would I even meet here? There are a limited quantity of single, of age individuals at Hogwarts.”

“Perhaps in Hogsmeade or-”

“No, it’s just him.” Lucia said. “To be honest I’m not sure I’ll be here much longer.” It wasn’t a lie. If Lucia killed Severus she was sure she would be locked up in Azkaban or a mental ward in St. Mungos.

“Do you think you might go back to America?”

“I suppose I may. I do miss New York. Sometimes the Scottish Highlands feel eerily quiet. There’s something about the city that made me feel like I could scream and no one would listen.”

“Isn’t that a bad thing?”

“Not when you feel like screaming all the time.” Lucia said, sending a half smile to her friend.

Aurora looked at Lucia with concern and was about to ask when there was a loud knock on the door to her office.

“Shit shit shit shit!” Cried Lucia, vanishing the wine and glasses. “I forgot that I made an appointment with a student.” And then she yelled loud enough so the person in the hallway could hear.  
“Just one moment Luna!”

“I didn’t realize Luna was in Transfigurations.” Aurora commented.

“She’s not. I wanted to ask her some questions about the very impressive headdress she wore for the first quidditch match.” Lucia said, thinking on the spot.

“You know I can tell when you’re lying.” Aurora said, here voice amused but a bit annoyed.

“I know but that seems like a you problem.” Lucia said, casting a final disillusionment charm to hide the more egregious piles.

Lucia opened the door, allowing Luna to enter. She was wearing her uniform but couldn’t help to adorn it with a pink scarf with little fuzzy bobbles and large crystal earrings that Lucia imagined were quite heavy. “Hello Luna, thank you very much for meeting with me.”

“Hello Professor Sometimes, Professor Sinistra.” Luna nodded at them both, her voice soft but not timid.

“Professor Sinistra, thank you very much for discussing the upcoming cycle of the moon.” Lucia said, gesturing for Aurora to leave. As Aurora exited the office, Lucia shot her an apologetic smile and closed the door.

“You don’t have to lie, you know?” Luna commented. “I can smell the wine.”

Lucia held a hand up to her mouth and checked her breath, nothing the vile wine was still lingering.

“I apologize. I shouldn’t have underestimated a Ravenclaw.”

“It’s alright, almost everyone does.”

“Would you like to take a seat?” Lucia gestured to the chair in front of her desk.

Luna sat down and Lucia went into her chambers, retrieving the nightdress from her wardrobe before laying it in front of Luna.

“I’m not sure what Hermione explained, if anything.” Lucia said, sitting down across from her.

“She explained you were trying to find out more about a family member who was a Ravenclaw and wished to speak to the Grey Lady.”

“That’s part of it.” Lucia said and then proceeded to explain the discovery of the nightgown, her family in Italy and the revealed name. “I have been trying to speak with Helena, but she won’t even stay in a room long enough for me to explain.” Lucia finished, feeling like her explanation got just a bit more complicated every time she explained it.

“Ahh yes, the Grey Lady doesn’t really like people outside her house.” Luna commented and then continued. “I could speak to her for you. Sometimes we talk.”

“Luna that would mean so much. Could you ask her what she knows about Isabella Webber?”

“Of course. She tends to spend time near the Hospital Wing this time of year. She says the view is beautiful. I will ask her tomorrow if I can find her.”

“You have no idea how grateful I am for your help.” Lucia said.

Lucia led Luna out into the hallway, saying goodnight and going back to her room.

Tomorrow morning she was going with Severus to Diagon alley to get some ingredients, including the chrysalis, and Lucia was hoping that, between her already tired condition and the wine, sleep would come easily and she could wake up feeling refreshed again.

Nuit was curled up in the center of her bed and Lucia had to decide if she would pick up the cat or take the edge, hoping not to fall off in her sleep. As a responsible pet owner she took the risk, trying carefully not to wake up the sleeping cat.

Lucia drifted up, falling easily into sleep. She had only been having occasional dreams recently, feeling them slow down significantly after her dream about Severus. It took away some of her anxiety around sleep, allowing her to actually relax and drift off.

The dream began again she was back in the Armour Gallery, watching the tall figure of Severus Snape walk toward the trophy room.

Lucia began shaking. She had never had a dream twice, but she had also never seen the same person die more than once either. She followed him into the other room, standing in front of him and watching the door that she knew this impostor version of herself was coming through.

The figure walked into the trophy room, her wild hair contrasting with the white of the nightdress.

“You can’t have him.” Lucia yelled.

“Really?” The ghost laughed. “You think that _you_ can save him?” and with a wave of her hand, Severus was frozen still behind her.  
Lucia turned around, trying to reach out and touch him but instead passing through him.

“Isn’t it terrible to be a ghost. To be here but not here at all. It must be awful for you.” Her tone was mocking.

“I know who you are, Euphemia.”

The figure laughed, her voice a mad cackle above the silence of the night air.

“You have no idea who I am. You have no idea what I can do.” The figure seemed to grow, the words spitting out of them like wildfire. “I have been a phantom for 750 years. I met you the day you were born and have been with you since. You cannot get rid of me. I am a part of you, Lucia. I know your thoughts and dreams. I know your pain. I know your love.” She spat the last word as if it hurt her to say.

“Then who are you?” Lucia asked, trying to stall so Severus could unfreeze and she could warn him to run.

The figure let her hands trail on the glass of a trophy case, letting her eyes linger on the list of headgirls and headboys. “I am a phantom, an abomination. I am both death and life and yet I am neither. But mostly I am revenge.” Her smile was wicked, wide and toothy, an expression Lucia had never made.

“Why do you have to hurt him?” Lucia begged.

“In all your research you have only looked at the women of your family. What have you discovered about the men?”

Lucia furrowed her brow in thought, unsure. She knew that her grandfather had died fairly young, as had her own father. But their deaths were natural causes. Or as natural as magical deaths typically could be.

The impostor walked through Lucia, sending a chill through her body and walked up to Severus.

“Love, my dear girl, love is the biggest weakness you will ever experience. You should be thankful that I’m getting rid of it for you.” And with that she unfroze Severus.

He looked confused for a moment before asking “Lucia, I thought you weren't feeling well this evening?”

The figure smiled at him before caressing his face and he fell stiff to the floor.

Lucia felt a sob wrack through her as she fell to her knees crying softly.

The dream ended and Lucia woke up, choking on her own sobs. She couldn’t wait until morning this time. She had to to go see Albus and Minerva now.

Lucia threw on a bra and a pair of leggings she usually wore for exercising, then covered herself with a black dressing gown.

The walk to the Headmistress’s office was quiet and cold, with only the patter of her bare feet on the stone floor. She immediately regretted not wearing at least socks. Just as she was entering the Gargoyle Corridor, Lucia heard a voice behind her.

“Lucia, what are you doing in the halls so late?”

She closed her eyes tightly, recognizing the silky voice immediately and hoping that this was still just a dream, perhaps she had never woken up.

“Are you alright.” The concern of his voice was evident but Lucia didn’t want him to see her face in case he could tell she had been crying.

Instead she mustered up as even of a voice as she could and asked “I received an urgent summons from the Headmistress. Why are you up?”

“One of the seventh years was threatening violence on a fifth year. I felt it prudent to inform Minerva immediately.”

He walked in front of her, examining her up and down. “You’ve been crying.” He said softly, reaching out and wiping away a teardrop she hadn’t realized had fallen.

Lucia hastily wiped her face and said “I cry when I sleep. I’m allergic to my cat. She sleeps right by my face.” The lie was terrible and she knew it.

“Lucia, you don’t have to lie.” Severus said, even more gently.

“Can you please just leave me alone. Please.” She pleaded, resuming the last ten meters to the headmistress’ office.

Severus grabbed her arm, pulling her back so she was facing him. “I don’t think I can do that anymore.”

Lucia held back a wail and covered her mouth with the back of her forearm, biting down on the tender flesh.

Severus looked at her with sadness for a moment before he pulled her into an embrace.

Lucia was shocked for a moment, feeling both confused and elated. Then the sadness hit her like a ton of bricks and she nearly collapsed in his arms under the weight of it.

“I’ve tried so hard.” Lucia whispered. “But not hard enough.”

“What do you mean?” Severus asked, pulling back from the embrace but still holding Lucia.

“I think, perhaps, Miss. Sometimes would feel more comfortable explaining in my office.” The voice came from the entrance to the Headmaster’s tower.

Minerva was looking at them both with confused concern.

Lucia stepped back from Severus, wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her robe and trying to compose herself.

“Are you sure now is the right time to tell him?” Lucia asked through her sniffles.

“I think the right time would have been much earlier.” Minerva replied.

“I suppose so.” Lucia turned to Severus, holding his hands in hers. “I know you can’t promise me this, but please at least try. Don’t hate me. You can be angry with me, you can be afraid of me, you can distrust me, but please don’t hate me.”

Severus nodded in confusion before the three of them entered the Headmaster’s office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments! I'm happy to see people are enjoying the story so far.
> 
> This chapter and the next are plot heavy but after that we are going to get into more fluff and then it's primarily fluff until the plot culminates.


	12. To Be Forgiven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus learns the full truth. Is he able to forgive and move forward.

[](https://ibb.co/k0HfsYY)   


The three of them took a seat in McGonagall’s office, with Lucia and Severus sitting next to her across from Minerva. Lucia was careful not to make eye contact with Severus. She couldn’t bear to see what his reaction would be when she told the truth.

“Now Severus, I think you should explain why you are here before Lucia.” Minerva said, gesturing for him to begin.

“Cecilia Prescott attacked a fifth year student, Priscilla Zabini for, and these are her words not mine, ‘stealing my boyfriend.’” Severus droned dully, clearly no longer concerned or interested in the situation.

“You mean the boyfriend that refuses to acknowledge her because of her blood status?” Lucia asked, still not looking at him.

“I suppose that may be the one.” He answered, boredly.

“What was the nature of the attack?” Minerva asked.

“A full body bind followed by a handful of hexes. From what Madam Pomfrey explained after I escorted Priscilla to the hospital wing, she may be out of class for a few days at most.”

“It seems Lucia may have an understanding of the situation. Perhaps the two of you can delegate detention and also work to prevent this from occurring in the future?”

Lucia cringed, knowing very well that Severus would likely not wish to spend any amount of time with her after he knew the truth.

“As for you Ms. Sometimes, would you care to explain why you came to see me at this ungodly hour.”

Lucia glanced over at Severus, not wanting to meet his eyes.

“I had the same dream again, but this time I talked to her. The woman pretending to be me.” Lucia said, her eyes downcast.

“What dream are you referring to?” Severus asked.

Lucia struggled to begin her explanation, her bottom lip trembling. She glanced pleadingly at Minerva, hoping she could relieve at least some of the burden of explanation.

“Perhaps it would be best if you showed us both your dreams? Perhaps there are details you didn’t notice?” Minerva said.

Lucia nodded pathetically. A cabinet in the wall opened, revealing a Pensieve. She approached the metal basin entombed in rock. The silvery liquid glowed in the low evening light as she placed her wand to her temple and extracted both memories.

The silvery film swirled around the bowl, taunting her. Lucia turned to face them both, beckoning them to surround the Pensieve. Severus stood beside her and he felt his hand graze hers. She savored the sensation, knowing it may be very well be one of the last moments he is willingly in her company.

All three of them delved into her first memory, following Severus and Lucia into the Trophy room. Severus glanced at her in question, but Lucia could barely acknowledge him, instead gazing at the door that she knew she would walk through at any moment.

The rest of the memory played out. Lucia watched her dream self interact with the imposter. It was almost like having a dream within a dream, or a nightmare within a nightmare. 

She could hear Severus inhale sharply next to her when she called him “My love” and then Minerva gasped as she watched him pale and die.

The dream shifted into her next dream and the three of them watched as Lucia begged and sobbed the imposter. The real Lucia felt fresh tears running down her cheeks and snuck a glance at the real Severus, his expression unreadable.

The memory faded and they were sucked back into the office. Between the three of them, the silence was thick enough to cut with a knife.

“Ms. Sometimes, it seems you left out some details during our initial discussion.” Minerva commented.

“What do you mean?” Lucia asked.

“You did not mention that you and Severus were romantically involved.”

“We are not.” Severus said, his tone impassable.

“I didn’t- I wasn’t sure.” Lucia answered.

“Whoever or whatever possessed you seemed to be under that impression.” Severus said, the tension clear in his voice.

“I just didn’t think at the time that it was relevant. I thought it was avoidable. And certainly after tonight, I don’t think there is much chance of it at all.” Lucia said

“Have you been able to discover more from the nightgown dear?” The portrait of Albus said, making Lucia jump with fright.

Albus was dressed in hs nightcap, paying close attention to the events unfolding before him. A handful of the other portraits were yawning and looking down at the three of them.

“Just a name, which led me to another name and who knows if those will lead to anything?” Lucia said, feeling the frustration rising in her throat.

“What were the names child?” cried another portrait by the name of Phineas Nigellus Black.

“Euphemia Webber.” Said Severus.

“And Isabella Webber.” Lucia added, thankful that Severus’s participation in the conversation. She half expected him to storm out or shut down. Or even to yell at her. “She was a student that graduated in 1232, a member of Ravenclaw house.”

“That was well before my time.” Albus said. “Perhaps Brian would remember. That was during his time as headmaster. Brian! Brian wake up my good man.” Albus called, looking above him at the other sleeping portraits. “Brian!”

“What! Did I fall asleep during chess again?” Cried a sleeping portrait named Brian Gagwilde.

“No, Brian. I was wondering if I could ask you about a former student.” Albus asked politely.

“Ahh yes, I do love reminiscing about the good old days. You know we didn’t have wars then.”

“Yes, you have mentioned that.” Albus rolled his eyes.

“Under my time, there was no such thing as dark wizards.”

“That’s because they all hated muggle borns.”

“It was a simpler time. When I was a headmaster-”

Minerva cut him off, “Headmaster Gagwilde, as much as I would love to hear about the golden years, I believe Professor Sometimes needs some information regarding a specific student, Isabella Webber.”

“Oh yes, Isabella, what a delightful young woman. She was, if I remember quickly, quite adept at household charms and was on track to becoming an excellent wife for any lucky wizard. Looked quite a bit like you actually, though she was taller.”

Lucia barely held back a gag.

Brian continued. “I believe she was quite good friends with the black girl, oh what was her name.” The portrait looked to be considered for a moment. “Ah yes, Narcissa Black. I believe, Albus, she was one of the ancestors of a student that you had by the same name.”

Lucia felt Severus stiffen next to her. The name sounded familiar to her but she couldn’t quite place it.

“Of course, I believe you may know her as Narcissa Malfoy.” Albus said to Severus particularly.

“She’s my great great great gre- oh fuck it - granddaughter.” Phineas Black said.

“I am well aware who Narcissa is.” Severus snapped.

“Severus!” Minerva reprimanded, shooting him a glare.

“As much as I appreciate that information, I don’t think that brings us any closer to solving this problem.” Lucia said, once again feeling defeated.

“Perhaps I cannot help you, but maybe Narcissa can.” Phineas said.

“Narcissa hardly holds knowledge about someone her ancestors knew hundreds of years ago.” Severus scoffed.

“No, not Narcissa Malfoy. Narcissa Black for whom Narcissa got her name. Her portrait used to be near mine in the Black household, before the three girls got married and split households. I believe the portrait of Narcissa was placed in the Malfoy household and mine was given to dear Walburga and Orion, some of my favorite great great great grandchildren.”

Lucia visible shivered at the pure incest of the black family, wondering how any of their children had managed to survive without any major mental disorders or deformities. Wizards and witches were not immune to the same genetic problems muggles experienced. Witches such as Bellatrix were a prime example of this.

“I do not exactly have easy access to the Malfoy manor.” Lucia said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

A moment of thoughtful silence fell over the room for a moment before Severus spoke up. “I do.”

Lucia looked at him, surprised at him presumably offering up his help.

“Really? Could you- could we go there?” Lucia asked.

“I suppose I could come up with an excuse. I did promise Narcissa I’d come and check on Draco occasionally, Merlin knows the boy needs someone other than Lucius around.”

“But how would you explain me attending?” Lucia asked.

“You could be his date, his new lady friend he wishes to introduce to his oldest friends.” Minerva said with a smile.

“I hardly think they’ll fall for that.” Severus scoffed.

“I could be your apprentice, a future potions mistress?” Lucia offered up. “Or we could tell them the truth.”

“I think it is probably best that you are my apprentice.” Severus said, much to Minerva’s chagrin.

“You should contact them immediately, preferably before the Christmas Holiday. Who knows when this vision will come to fruition.” Albus said.

Severus nodded and got up to stand, but Albus called for him to speak with him for a moment.

Minerva walked Lucia into the hallway, putting a hand on her shoulder gently as the passage closed. “You know, I kept you at Hogwarts for more than just thinking your best chance of figuring out the curse would be here.” She said.

Lucia looked up at the tall woman quizzically. “What do you mean?”

“Severus never seemed to like people. It typically takes people years to even get him to say something amiable. I have yet to make him smile and I’ve been his colleague for nearly two decades.” Minerva explained. “And yet you appear and within a matter of days you have shocked him, put him in his place and he seems happy.”

Lucia flushed, not knowing how to respond to the situation.

“Severus may be alive, but is he truly living? He certainly was not over the summer when I went to visit him.” Minerva explained. “I taught him as an angry and sad teenager and saw him turn into an even angrier and sad adult. I have wished for him to find peace all these years and saw a chance in you. Do not let his pigheadedness ruin that for both of you.” Minerva clasped both her hands. “I know better than most that a second chance at happiness is truly rare and beautiful.”

The sound of the passageway opening again caused Minerva to drop Lucia’s hands and they both glanced at the emerging figure.

Severus walked past them both in long strides, not wishing either of them goodnight.

“Severus!” Lucia called, hoping he would glance back. When he didn’t, Lucia turned to McGonagall who waved the back of her hands at Lucia, gesturing for her to follow him.

Lucia took off toward him at a light jog, running in front of him right as he reached the first set of stairs. The stairs shifted right as she got on them and she almost careened off the side, had Severus not grabbed her and pulled her back onto the landing. Her body was pressed against his for just a moment before he recoiled from her as if she would burn him..

Severus attempted to call the staircase back, but it seemed to have a mind of it’s own, choosing to stay across the stairwell from them. They had nowhere to go and nothing to do but wait for it to come back.

“Severus,” Lucia said, as gently as she could. “Could we please talk about this.”

“I’m not sure what there is to talk about.” Severus said coldly. “You’re going to kill me and apparently Minerva isn’t going to do anything to prevent it.”

“I don’t think we can prevent it. Especially after this last dream, it seems like whoever she is will kill you regardless of me being here or anywhere else.”

“And still you got closer to me, talking with me, making me think-” Severus stopped himself mid statement.

“Making you think what?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters! I wasn’t making you think anything. I tried to be professional, to keep a distance. But I’m so lonely here and you are - you’re my favorite person to talk to.” Lucia admitted, looking shyly at her bare feet.

“How can I believe that after you have lied to me.”

“I’m not lying anymore. No more lies. Look into my mind if you want. You can see exactly how I feel. I promise I won’t stop you.”

Severus stopped for a moment. He appeared to almost consider it, reaching for his wand momentarily before his hand rested at his side. “You are a terrible liar.” He said.

Lucia laughed in relief. “Oh I know. Trust me, it’s been so hard not to tell you. I’ve felt terrible. I didn’t want you to hate me.”

The staircase began moving back to where they were standing and Severus looked down at the witch by his side before quickly averting his eyes. “Your dressing gown has come undone.”

Lucia looked down and noticed her tie had loosened, revealing a fair amount of own of her breasts which were thankfully covered in a bra. She quickly resecured the gown, making sure to tie it tightly and cover herself properly.

Severus began descending the steps to the dungeon. Lucia had half a mind to follow him when he invited her to his chambers, saying it was nearly morning and they’d be leaving for Diagon Alley in a few hours anyway.

Lucia nearly cried from happiness, sure their trip to get ingredients had been cancelled in light of this new information.

His office was particularly cold as the chill of early October had first settled in the dungeons of the school. Severus lit a fire and conjured a cup of coffee for Lucia as well as an energizing potion and motioning for her to sit down on the loveseat across from his armchair.

Lucia sat awkwardly, stretching her cold feet toward the fire and sipping her warm coffee with the perfect amount of milk.

Severus finally settled onto the armchair across from her with his tea, conjuring a handful of books on possession to sit on the coffee table in front of them.

“Can you tell me how the dreams started?” Severus asked.

“The dreams about you or just in general?”

“In general. How did they begin?”

“Well, it’s really hard to say since I was so young. I remember having really terrible nightmares which were, in retrospect, likely visions. The first I really remember was when I was 4 or 5.” Lucia began. “It wasn’t until I saw the Potters die that I knew the dreams really happened.”

Severus’s expression saddened for a moment but he nodded for her to continue.

“My grandmother told me that many women in my family from generations back have had these visions and encouraged me to help people, but I chose to take the dreamless sleep potion instead as soon as I got to Ilvermorny. It was making studying difficult and I already felt like an outsider.”

“What do you think she meant when she told you to look at what happened to the men?” Severus commented.

“I did notice that in certain generations the husband would die very young, but this was well before the 1900s. People, especially muggles, died young regardless. Many of the couples on a specific side of my family only ever had one child which made it easy enough to track, so I have been following that line as far back as I can.”

“Were there more daughters than sons?” Severus asked.

“I want to say yes, but I’d have to confirm that to be sure. I also have not been able to trace all the way back to Euphemia so there are many branches of my family tree that I am exploring.”

“May I recommend possibly following the lines with husbands who die young first?” Severus recommended.

“That would be the same line that only has one child.”

“That doesn’t seem like a mere coincidence.”

“No, I didn’t think so either.”

“Do you think this insidious force has been murdering the men in your family for generations? Perhaps out of revenge as she stated?”

“It’s possible, though I don’t know why she would kill you. Hypothetically, that would mean you were a father and she…” Lucia trailed off.

“There are many ways to prevent that from happening,” Severus said. “Including keeping a professional distance.”

“Yes, professional distance.” Lucia said, glancing around his chambers, the irony not lost on her.

She had been drunk the only other time she had been inside them and did not take them in properly. She noted the large bed, larger than her own but then again she was a very small woman, covered in black sheets and a black duvet that he had not made, likely in haste to get up and deal with his misbehaving students. The nightstand was covered in books, most notably a large anthology of Edgar Allen Poe, which Lucia found quite surprising. There was also a nearly empty bottle of dreamless sleep potion on the table. She noted the bookshelves were full of a variety of books, but primarily potions material. Many of the older tombs had cracked spines. It was overall a plain but fitting chamber for Severus Snape and she found she liked it, though thought a few paintings and perhaps a throw pillow might make it seem more inviting.

“When did you start having the dreams again?” Severus asked.

“After Ryan died.” Lucia said. “I couldn’t live with the guilt of my possibly having saved him, if only I had stopped taking the potion. I thought I could do some good like my grandmother said so I quit taking it and the visions began again, but I didn’t ever recognize a person in the dream until Albus. And the rest you know.” Lucia explained.

“Had she appeared in any of the other dreams?” Severus asked.

“Never. I don’t even know who she is. She could be Euphemia and just be lying.”

“Possibly Isabella as well.”

“Either way she’s a fucking bitch.” Lucia said and Severus snorted into his tea.

The sun was rising over the black lake and Lucia could see the rays shining through the windows, casting waves of light on the walls of his chambers.

“Breakfast will be soon.” Severus commented.

“Can we skip it? I don’t want to face the students.” Lucia said.

“Of course, I can call a house elf to bring us food.” Severus said.

“You can do that?” Lucia asked.

“Of course.” Severus looked at her as if she had said something terribly obvious. “Winky!”

A house elf appeared in front of both of them. Her bat-like ears amused Lucia and she thought the elf looked rather darling in her blue blouse and skirt.

“Master Severus sir, how can Winky help you?” The elf’s voice was high pitched and squeaky, making Lucia want to pinch her cheeks.

“Could you please fetch Lucia and me some breakfast. Oatmeal?” He asked Lucia and she nodded. “And I will have the quiche.”

“Of course sir!” Winky disappeared and then reappeared with the dishes as well as a plate of fruit.

“Thank you Winky.” Lucia said, gratefully accepting the food.

Winky disappeared and Lucia glanced up at Severus.

“House elves aren’t very popular in America. Our history with slavery is… well it’s less than ideal and I think the idea left a bad taste in our mouth. Even with voluntary elves like they have at Hogwarts, many families would prefer not to have them for appearance sake.” Lucia explained.

“They enjoy serving.” Severus said flippantly.

“I always thought they were just immensely loyal and that often meant that wizards took advantage of them.” Lucia shot back, a little harshly.

Severus’ eyebrow rose and he nodded in concession, making a note of her strong feelings on the subject.

“Well if you’d feel better, I can show you to the kitchens sometime so you can prepare your own food.” He offered.

“I would rather not poison myself.” Lucia commented.

They ate the rest of their meal in silence and Lucia looked thoughtfully at the books on the table.

“Do you think-That wasn’t me right? In the dream?” Lucia asked.

Severus put down his cup of coffee on the coffee table and picked up the first book entitled “Possessions Most Putrid” and opened it to midway through the book.

“There are examples of spirits possessing the living, especially those related to the dead. I think, perhaps, with your psychic ability being particularly strong, your link to her is easier for both of you to access. I do not imagine she wants you to see these dreams and possibly discover a way to stop them.” Severus explained, handing her the book.

She glanced over the pages, revealing little to no information about how to actually get rid of a spirit. “But how do I banish her? I don’t want this living in me for the rest of my life. I don’t want my children to deal with this.”

“That I am not sure of. Potter successfully fended off the Dark Lord during a possession. I loathe to admit it, but he may be a better source regarding the subject than I would be.”

“He doesn’t exactly know me. He just knows me as the drunk girl that is dating his professor.”

“We aren’t ‘dating’.” The word sounded foreign coming from his mouth.

“I know that, but it probably seemed that way. Besides, I was flirting with you quite a bit.” Lucia sent him a wink.

Severus flushed for a moment, still not used to the coy winks she shot him every now and then before he cleared his throat. “I have a meeting with the order over Halloween weekend that he is meant to attend. I can attempt to ask him then.”

“Oh Severus, you are just a bundle of resources this evening! I have no idea what the order is but they sound lovely.” Lucia cried, genuinely thankful at his willingness to help.

Severus nearly chuckled at her enthusiasm. “It is my life we are trying to save.”

“Yes well, let me grateful regardless.” Lucia looked at the clock, noting it fast approaching 9 am. “Should we go to Diagon Alley? I would like to beat the crowd if we could.”

Severus nodded before looking once more at her clothing. “Perhaps a change of clothing is in order? And I could use a shower. Admittedly standing over boiling potions does make my hair quite, what is the word Potter used? Greasy.”

“Oh Severus, you look handsome regardless.” Lucia teased, standing up to head back to her chambers before casting a quick disillusionment charm. “Too many students roaming about. I wouldn’t want one to see me in my dressing gown.”

Lucia walked back to her chambers thoughtfully. Never had she been more thankful for Severus, as he seemed to be not only forgiving of her but also willing to help. She also understood that he was in quite a difficult situation. He was supposed to die and the only way to stop it was to help the person that was going to kill him, or at least the vessel.

Her thoughts lingered on his comment about professional distance, noting that she was never very good at maintaining that. She was always one to step over boundaries. She was overly friendly with students, giving them advice on how to avoid getting caught past curfew and which classrooms were left unlocked and seldom checked. She drank with Aurora once a week usually and sometimes got a bit too tipsy, resulting in her serenading one of the castle ghosts at one point. And with Severus she was perhaps a little in love with him. It wasn’t full blown yet, but she knew it would be at some point. She got the feeling he might love her a little bit too, especially after her conversation with McGonagall. And that scared the shit out of Lucia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucia admits she's caught the feels and Severus seems surprisingly ok with the whole thing. Perhaps dying doesn't seem like the end of the world for him after the war.
> 
> Thank you for the reviews! I feel so encouraged knowing people are enjoying this fic. It's genuinely been a lot of fun to put the story together and write. Expect the next few chapters to be fluff and plot mixed evenly and then we get into the yule bar where everything changes. for better or worse you will just have to find out.


	13. To Imagine a Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Lucia go to Diagon Alley and run into an acquaintance.

Severus and Lucia floo’d to Diagon Alley through his office, arriving in the Leaky Cauldron just past 10 am.

Lucia dusted off her coat, noting her surroundings. The pub was rather small, smaller than Lucia imagined, and looked like it hadn’t been properly cleaned in years, possibly since its inception. There were a variety of characters about, but most looked like harmless witches and wizards simply grabbing a drink and a cup of soup on a chilly October morning.

Severus lead her behind the Leaky Cauldron to a large black wall where he tapped a brick. She saw the wall open in front of them and gasped to see Diagon Alley in front of her. It wasn’t as crowded as she had heard it could be, especially right before the school year started, but there was still a quiet bustle of witches and wizards mulling about, some with very young children.

Lucia looked at Severus and smiled, clearly delighted by the change of scenery. While not nearly the same hustle and bustle of New York, Diagon Alley felt more at home at Hogwarts.

She did enjoy teaching, but she found being so far away from anything to be very isolating. Despite her lack of friends in America, Lucia found herself almost always doing something during the evening after work. She took Fit Witch classes at the local community center, sang karaoke with muggles more than she cared to admit and often found herself going out to eat at some new corner restaurant with Emily. To be in an environment that was difficult to even get out of wasn’t her favorite, though she did enjoy teaching. If she made it through the school year without murdering someone, Lucia was reconsidering her position at Hogwarts, though she still liked the idea of living abroad for a few years.

Severus watched Lucia as she walked by the storefronts, clearly enamored with the display at Sugarplum’s Sweet Shop.

“Can we go in?” Lucia asked, clasping her hands like an excited child.

Severus looked at her for a moment, trying very hard not to roll his eyes before conceding. He did enjoy seeing her happy, and this place seemed to be doing exactly that.

Lucia walked through the aisles of the sweet stop, trying every sample out and offering Severus one as well. He turned each down, opting instead to stand by the door.

After a solid fifteen minutes, Lucia returned to Severus with a bag full of treats.

“For the first years!” She explained, though he doubted they would ever make it into the classroom.

They resumed their walk the apothecary, which was at the other end of the alley. Severus didn’t walk at the pace he normally would, partially because he noticed Lucia kept getting distracted by things and partially because he was enjoying his time with her. Most of their conversation was Lucia making comments about various things, not expecting a reply back from him and Severus was perfectly happy just listening to her ramble on.

Lucia paused in front of Madam Malkin’s, examining the dress in the window. It was a royal blue with nude lace inserts across the neckline and waist. Severus immediately thought the color would be lovely on her.

“What kinds of things are worn to the Yule Ball?” Lucia asked.

“Wizards wear traditional dress robes, unfortunately, but witches are free to wear more modern garments, such as this one. Are you thinking of trying it on?” To be honest, Severus wasn’t all too excited about going in and watching her try on dresses.

“Oh no, I’ll just transfigure one I already own. But it’s nice to get ideas.” Lucia waved off a thought before turning to him and smiling. “To be honest I’ll probably just transfigure my wedding dress. It’ll be the easiest thing to change.”

Severus thought that it would be unusual to see her in her wedding dress, but let the thought go, leading her into the apothecary.

“Hullo Severus.” Called the man behind the counter.

“Hello Quenby, I see business has been doing well.” Severus noted the picked over shelves of common ingredients.

“I spose so, though I’ll findya anything you need, sir.” Quenby replied.

“Just some Valerian root, some Horned Slugs, and the Death’s-Head Hawk Moth we discussed over owel.” Severus said, watching as Lucia once again explored the aisles.

“I will retrieve that right away for you sir.” Quenby said, disappearing into his stockroom.

“I’ve always been pretty average at potions.” Lucia said. “Nothing ever seemed to cooperate. To be honest I was annoyed when Minerva recommended you help with the animagus potion, but, it was probably for the best.”

“Yes, it’s my understanding that potions tends to be a divisive subject. You are either good at it, or you are dangerously bad at it.”

“Oh I’m not sure I ever posed a serious danger to anyone.” Lucia said, “But I certainly was what I would call a highly specialized student. I excelled in charms and transfiguration and was just above average in everything except for potions and defense. Fortunately Horned Serpents don’t need to be good at everything, just relentlessly pursue knowledge.”

“What brought you into the world of education?”

“Mostly I just walked into it. It seemed like a good way to have a general ability to research while not having to necessarily target an interest.” Lucia said, absentmindedly picking up a bottle of fireflies. “If I were to be truthful, I’m not sure I’m particularly passionate about anything besides music.”

“Why haven’t you pursued that?” Severus asked.

“I don’t like doing it professionally. It takes the joy from it. Why are you still a professor? You clearly hate it.” Lucia let out a laugh.

“I had to be to look after Potter. Now I’m too old to do much of anything else.”

“Severus, you are hardly a quarter of the way through your life. Surely there is something else you’d rather do for the rest of it? I did note that there is no potions shop in the alley.”

“I would have to work with the public. I can hardly imagine myself being the face of the shop.”

“Then have someone else as the face. You know I used to be a shop girl for a bookstore. I would smile and greet people and pretend I cared. I was quite good at it! And when there was no one there I would just sing songs and read books.”

“Are you proposing going into business together?” Severus said, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

“I’m just saying that wouldn’t it be lovely to have a little shop with a potions laboratory attached where you made the potions and someone else sold them.”

“You’d have to learn about potions. A lot more than you learned in school.”

Lucia approached him, placing a finger on his chest. “Fortunately, I would have an excellent teacher.”

Quenby exited the backroom with a bag of goods. Lucia stepped back from Severus, placing the fireflies back on their shelf and smiled coyly at Severus. Severus couldn’t help but flush as he told Quenby to put it on Hogwarts account and the pair left the shop.

Lucia made a comment about feeling hungry and asked if there was anywhere to eat in the alley, besides the Leaky Cauldron which even he had to admit seemed to have less than appetizing offerings. They chose a little cafe next to Twilfitt and Tatting’s which boasted about their ‘enchanting’ shepherd's pies. Lucia immediately ordered one, stating that it was her favorite British food.

Severus was watching her shovel mounds of potatoes and lamb sausage into her mouth with mild fascination and amusement when he noticed a familiar face waving at them from outside the cafe.

“Lucia, if you could please swallow the food you currently have in your mouth, that would be advised.” Severus said, waving back at the woman outside.

“Wha?” Lucia looked up at Severus, swallowing the food quickly before following his gaze.

The woman waving at Severus was a picturesque, tall, blonde woman who was impeccably dressed and carrying a Twilfitt and Tatting’s bag. She was smiling at Severus as if she knew him well and was fond of him and Lucia immediately felt a twinge of jealousy. The figure came in through the front door, apparently not content with just a friendly wave.

“Hello Severus, how delightful to run into you. I didn’t think I’d see you until the Christmas Holidays.” The woman stood in front of their table with the same flawless smile across her perfectly painted lips.

“What a surprise Narcissa, I was just taking my colleague shopping for some potions ingredients.” Severus said.

Recognition and relief struck Lucia as she realized this was the Narcissa Malfoy they had discussed the night before.

“And you must be Lucia Sometimes, the new Transfigurations professor. There was a clip about your appointment in The Daily Prophet. Quite surprising that McGonagall chose an American to teach. I am Narcissa Malfoy.”

Lucia glanced at Severus. There was no point in pretending she was his apprentice. The write up had been short and included a small picture of her, barely big enough for someone to recognize her but Narcissa was a perceptive woman.

“Yes, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Lucia said, extending her hand. “Would you like to sit down?”

“Oh I would but I have errands to run. I just wanted to chat for a moment.” Narcissa said.

“How are Draco and Lucius?” Severus inquired, hoping to steer the subject away from Lucia who was clearly uncomfortable.

“Draco broke up with Pansy and has been insisting on a more… enlightened perspective as of late. I’m sure you understand what I mean.” Narcissa explained.

Lucia could only assume Narcissa meant that Draco was straying from the strict pureblood ideology of his youth, but could only assume.

“As for Lucius, well he has been prudently investing. His involvement in the ministry is gone, but fortunately we have been wise with our financial situation and are in no trouble.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” Severus said.

“What about you Severus?” Narcissa asked. “It seems there are some… developments in your life.”

Lucia had to refrain from taking another large bite of food and tried to smile politely.

“Yes, indeed there has been. All good things of course.” Severus smiled affectionately at Lucia, reaching for her hand across the table.

It only took Lucia a moment to realize that, without the ruse of her being his apprentice, they had to fall back on being in a relationship. She tried to seem bashful and flattered, which wasn’t hard since his hand on hers sent butterflies to her stomach.

“Oh aren’t you two darling. Severus I truly am so happy for you.” Narcissa paused for a moment as if in thought. “You simply must come over for supper next weekend. Lucius would be so pleased to meet you and Draco as well I’m sure.”

Lucia doubted that, but tried not to let it show through her expression. This situation was entirely too convenient.

“I wouldn’t want to impose.” Severus said, feigning concern.

“Nonsense, I insist.” Narcissa waved him off. “Though I would recommend wearing something a bit more… traditional. Something better” She gestured to Lucia’s outfit, a blue and orange colorblock sweater, red pants and orange corduroy floor length coat. Admittedly it was a rather loud outfit.

Lucia nearly made a snide comment but, as if sensing her indignance, Severus gave her hand a squeeze.

“If it’s no trouble, next Saturday would be wonderful. Shall we say 5?” Severus asked.

“That sounds lovely.” Narcissa began walking toward the door. “It was nice to meet you Lucia, and lovely to see you Severus. I am truly so happy you are doing well.” And with a flourish of expensive robes, Narcissa Malfoy exited back into the alley.

“That was terrifying.” Lucia said.

“Narcissa is hardly a terrifying woman.” Severus scoffed.

“I have never seen a nail so perfectly manicured.” Lucia said, recollecting her fingers which were more like talons. “They are going to hate me.” Lucia put her head in her hands.

“Why would they hate you?”

“I’m an uncouth, messy, crude American. She is so fucking British.” Lucia said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Narcissa has been a very dear friend of mine for many years. I have not always agreed with her and Lucius on the finer points of morality, but I have always cared for them and their son. They have cared for me as well, offering me assistance even though they knew I’d refuse it and giving me unwavering support. They will like you because you make me happy.”

Lucia flushed for a moment, forgetting he was talking about their ruse of a relationship.

“But it probably won’t hurt to be on your best behavior.” Severus added.

Lucia pretended to be aghast at the insinuation. “Me? A poorly behaved barely tolerable person? Why I am shocked you would imply that.”

“You know exactly what I am referring to. This means-”

Lucia cut him off, knowing exactly what he was going to say “No wine, I am well aware thank you.”

“I was going to refer to your insisting to flirt with every living being, but also no wine.” Severus said.

“Damnit!” Lucia exclaimed.

Lucia’s appetite had dramatically reduced after the encounter and she found herself pushing away her plate of food and asking Severus if they could go back to the castle.

“Of course. Would you prefer to apparate or take the floo network?”

Lucia considered it for a moment. She always found all wizarding transportation methods to be rather pleasant, apparition especially so over long distances and opted for the floo network instead.

They walked back to the Leaky Cauldron and floo’d into Severus’ chambers.

“Unfortunately I have a pile of first year papers I have been avoiding.” Severus said.

Lucia thought about her own piles of student work that needed reviewing and inwardly groaned. Her procrastination was truly biting her in the ass.

“I suppose I won’t bother you anymore.” Lucia said, about to leave when she turned back. “You were wrong, you know?”

“What are you referring to?”

“Me flirting with everyone. I don’t, at least not anymore. I only flirt with you.” Lucia went back in the direction of her own chambers, unwilling to look back at his expression.

Severus had half a mind to go after her, but had to remind himself of the professional distance he had insisted they maintain. It was, admittedly, difficult for him.

He had surprised himself the night before by forgiving her so quickly. Perhaps it was because she held her emotions so readily out for him to see, not bothering to hide how she felt. She didn’t always say it, but he was aware of her feelings toward him and even her struggle to not let them develop further. He didn’t understand why until last night.

The thought of death would have scared most wizards. 20 years ago he would have insisted she be locked up until a solution was discovered, but he had never expected to live this long. He either expected a swift death during the war by either side or at the hands of a dementor should the war have been won.

When he found himself alive in St. Mungo’s hospital not about to be arrested, but instead a hero, Severus began to struggle with intrusive thoughts. He was better off dead. He should have died saving someone rather than be alive. And perhaps most insidiously, he had no purpose at all but to die and that was taken from him. That perspective was slow to change, with only glimpses of purpose flashing before him, primarily when he spoke to Lucia.

He had to admit the young which was perhaps a bit confusing to him at first. She was sharp and vulnerable, had a knack for making him uncomfortable but also exceedingly kind to her students. A few of the upper years had mentioned her being a good listener when they had problems, something he had no problem admitting he was not good at and had no desire to be good at. Beyond that, she was beautiful in her wild way. Even her hair, which admittedly could use a brush most days, was attractive to him. And her eyes. Her eyes betrayed everything. He hardly thought legilimens was necessary whenever he met her gaze.

When he found out that the reason she was so concerned about the nightdress was because of a dream involving her own possession and his incidental murder, Severus immediately examined his memories of her, trying to find some malintent. Perhaps she hated him, as many did despite his Order of Merlin. But he couldn’t think of a moment she had been anything besides a bit irksome with him, and usually for good reason, he had to admit.

When she implied opening up a potions shop with him that day, Severus had a flash of what their life could look like. Him in the basement of the shop, brewing potions. Her upstairs, playing piano between customers with the door open so he could listen and occasionally bringing him down tea. They’d floo to their cabin far away from the city and drink wine and firewhiskey in front of a fire while he read a book and she practiced singing. Her infernal cat would sit on his feet. He’d bring her coffee every morning in their bed. He thought for a moment that she would make an excellent mother, all good humor and kindness in contrast to his surly strictness. She’d lecture him for being too mean, but kiss him regardless afterwards. He had imagined them kissing a lot.

He realized this was the first time he had imagined a future that didn’t end in death in a very long time, and ironically it was with someone who would possibly kill him.

Severus walked over to his nightstand, opening a drawer and pulling out an old photograph. It was of Lily in their seventh year. She had been written up in the Profit for her excellent charms skills. Her smile was radiant. He liked this picture best because it showed the color of her eyes.

He wondered for a moment if Lily had forgiven him, if he even deserved to be forgiven. He would always love Lily, that he knew. For whatever reason he believed Lucia would not want to change that about him. But Lily never loved him. There was never a future with Lily like there might be with Lucia, before she died and certainly after she had been taken from him.

Severus placed the photograph back in the drawer, closing it and then sitting down on his bed.

Though he had never cared much for his own life, he wanted very much a chance at the future Lucia might hold for him. With that image in his mind, Severus resolved to do everything in his power to save his own life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all.  
> I wrote this chapter with a fever and am posting it with a fever so I hope it's good but I also think it might not be? Who knows.
> 
> Thank you so much for everyone who has commented. It means so much.
> 
> I was very inspired upon reading The Potion Master's Wife on fanfiction because that story is so well done. I hoped I could be half as good as that.
> 
> I wanted to talk about how Severus was feeling after the war, because I think a lot of writers focus a ton on how he felt about Lily.
> 
> I'm not a psychiatrist or anything, but I did date someone who was deployed during our relationship and was in combat, and a lot of the thoughts I attribute to Severus were things my ex struggled with. I hope I did it justice and continue to do justice to exactly how hard it is to readjust after trauma. Thank you!


	14. To Pretend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucia meets with a student and Severus and Lucia go to dinner.

Lucia should be stressed about her dinner with the Malfoys. She should be in her room trying to find the correct amount of smoothing dream to fix her unfixable hair. Her nails should have been painted red and her eyebrows should have been plucked and she should have been panicking over what color dress will best convey that she is neither threatening nor unsophisticated. Instead she was stressed about a student.

Since Friday night Cecilia Prescott had gotten into duels with 2 other students, the last of which she lost. Apparently the boyfriend who refused to walk her back to the dormitories didn’t refuse to walk back everyone else he’s been seeing.

Minerva was on her last nerve, feeling that Cecilia was a danger to the other students. After a conversation between herself, Severus and Lucia, it was decided that Lucia would take over Cecilia’s punishment.

Lucia had never responded well to authority as a teenager, finding most attempts to discipline her usually insighted either indignance or anger. Cecilia seemed to think in much the same way. Her detention cleaning and sorting the potions stockroom hadn’t been effective and a thoughtful conversation with Minerva only resulted in eye rolls and a carefully examined manicure.

Despite the similarity, Lucia wasn’t sure exactly what she was supposed to say or do to help the girl get back on track emotionally. Clearly this guy had gotten under her skin and burrowed deep.

Lucia decided to visit Cecilia in the hospital wing, hoping an adult showing up in support would be at least not welcome. It struck Lucia as odd sometimes that she was the adult to these teenagers. She barely felt like she had her well being in check, let alone the emotional intelligence to help other people.

Cecilia was propped up in her bed covered in boils, a look, Lucia noted, that made her appear less bitchy. Lucia chided herself internally. She probably should not describe students as bitchy, even if they were.

“Professor, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Cecilia said, the words slightly distorted.

“I heard you’re the least popular girl in seventh year currently.” Lucia said, genuinely not sure what to say.

“Yeah well what’s new.” Cecilia brushed it off.

“Perhaps if you didn’t attack your peers-” Lucia started.

“They deserve it.” Cecilia commented.

“And what makes you say that?” Lucia asked, pulling up a seat next to the bed.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe the fact that I haven’t been welcome in this house since the day I got sorted.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Just because no one has ever treated you like you are less than a perfect, beautiful, talented poor American doesn’t mean other people have that kind of life.”

Lucia was a little taken aback that the young woman saying that about her. “First of all, I would never say I’m perfect. I’ve got a lot of problems, and most of them are of my own doing. Secondly, I’ve read your file and spoken with McGonagall. You’re a talented student, especially in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions. Professor Snape told me that you consistently show an attention to detail uncommon in students and a desire to learn outside of the classroom. And you are beautiful.”

All of those things were true. Cecilia showed promise until this most recent year. There had always been a history of bullying, with her blood status being the main point in question but Severus had told her that had decreased significantly after last year. But Cecilia had lost her younger brother. He was a first year and had been tragically killed during the battle after fleeing from his hiding space.

Lucia could not imagine losing a sibling, let alone in such a horrific way, but she could imagine losing someone she loved.

“You know, my husband died a few years ago. I had a hard time after that for awhile and I made a lot of mistakes, but there were people around me who wanted what’s best.” Lucia said.

“You’re trying to relate to me.” Cecilia said.

“Pretty smart for a Slytherin.” Lucia laughed. “You know, I don’t think punishment is what you need right now. It seems like you’re punishing yourself.”

“It’s not like I chose to get myself hexed.” Cecilia replied, referring to her face.

Lucia scoffed. “You were up against Astoria Greengrass. She got a troll in Defense.” She raised an eyebrow at Cecilia. “You got an O. I hardly think she stood a chance unless you were looking to lose.”

Cecilia looked ashamed for a moment before looking at Lucia with something akin to defeat. “I don’t want to be here anymore. He died here.”

Lucia nodded, thinking it would have been wise for her to have taken a gap year. It’s what Lucia had done with her life. But Lucia had realized she was privileged. Even if being a musician had been an utter failure, Lucia had money from her family and Ryan she could fall back on.

“I understand. More than you think.” Lucia finally said. “I don’t know all your experiences, but I think perhaps doing something you’re passionate about will help. I’ve talked with Professor Robbards and Professor Snape about opening a dueling club. I’ve volunteered you as the first member. I’ve also volunteered you to tutor a first year in potions. His name is Quentin and I think you’ll find him an eager student who is just a bit behind.”

“This seems an awful lot like a punishment.” Cecilia commented.

“I like to think of it as forced responsibility.” Lucia said, remembering her own teachers telling her the same thing while she was in school. It was annoying to her then and she couldn’t imagine it feeling nice for Cecilia either. But after Lucia’s parents died, Lucia started acting out in particularly self destructive ways, including sleeping around a lot. She got a bit of a reputation and a parent of one of her friends seemed to think that meant no meant that he should try harder. Lucia had fought him off well enough, but she ended up with a split lip and a bruised sense of security. Lucia had expected the headmaster to admonish her or say she deserved it. In some ways Lucia thought she did, but instead she was offered a place in the chorus and special permission to have a piano in her room.

It hadn’t fixed everything, but Lucia had a safe space to express herself and something she enjoyed and was good at that other people encouraged her to do. She hoped she could replicate that for Cecilia.

It was nearly three by the time Lucia had gotten back to her chambers, not nearly enough before Lucia agreed to meet Severus in his chambers to floo to the Malfoy mansion. While her plans had essentially been foiled for her hair, she felt confident she could do the rest in time. By 4:45 she had done her nails, applied what she thought was a clean cat eye and changed into what she felt would be more traditional, at least by their standards. She even considered wearing the black dress again, but opted to appeal to their Slytherin pride with a green cocktail length dress with a lace neckline. She paired the curve hugging dress with nude heels. Besides her hair which she had tried to pin strategically, Lucia thought that she looked like she belonged in society. What society? Lucia wasn’t sure, but hopefully one that served wine. Not that Lucia planned on drinking, she reminded herself. At least not while was there. After dinner was fair game.

Lucia walked to Severus’ office, ignoring the looks from the handful of students she passed in the hall. She wore her teaching robes over her dress but they could still see the heels and, perhaps most notably, hear them.

She knocked on Severus’s door, her heart rate a little higher than she preferred. When Lucia was singing professionally, she often had to socialize at galas and other events involving her schmoozing and pretending to be interested in various topics. Seldom had Lucia enjoyed these events, but she’d only really embarrassed herself once. Somehow the larger groups made her feel more comfortable than this intimate dinner.

Severus answered the door, looking much the same as he always does. She considered for a moment that his hair looked cleaner than normal. She wondered if he would ever wear his hair tied back, as she thought it might help.

He looked her up and down, noting the red lipstick in particular. She didn’t often wear red lipstick, worrying it emphasized her wide mouth but she noted that Severus seemed to enjoy it, as he kept glancing at her lips.

“You look very appropriate.” Severus said in what Lucia took as a compliment.

“Thank you, you look just about the same.” Lucia teased.

“How was your conversation with Cecilia?”

Lucia sighed. “Who knows? I feel like maybe getting involved will be good for her but I’m also worried that she doesn’t know her passion yet.”

“What would her passion have to do with her behavior?”

“Really Severus?” Lucia asked with a little ridicule in her voice, but also a gentleness.

Severus looked at her with mild confusion.

“You know better than most what kind of feelings one can experience when angry and without a solid direction in life.”

Severus’ first instinct was to be defensive but he knew she didn’t mean it in judgement.

Lucia backtracked. “I’m sorry that was probably not alright to say.”

“It’s ok, you’re mostly right. I had very different motivations at that point in my life.” 

Lucia smiled, glad he wasn’t upset with her. The clock was fast approaching six and Lucia realized they would soon begin the ruse of being in a budding relationship. Pretending to be enamored wouldn’t be too difficult, but Lucia couldn’t help but blush when she thought of Severus holding her hand. Oh how she wished she was allowed to drink wine.

“Shall we?” Severus asked, gesturing for the fireplace.

“Is this ‘ladies first’ or some shit like that?” Lucia asked. “Because, despite my lovely appearance, I am not much of a lady.”

“I hadn’t noticed.” The dry tone couldn’t hide the smirk on his lips.

Lucia went through the fireplace first, arriving in a grand entryway of granite and silver. Narcissa and a man with long blond blonde hair that she assumed was Lucius. Before anyone had a chance to greet her, Severus appeared behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist as if it were the most natural instinct. 

“Severus, Lucy! Welcome to our home.

“It’s Lucia.” Lucia muttered before she felt Severus squeeze her side in warning. If it hadn’t tickled she might have jabbed him in the side. “Hello Narcissa, thank you very much for the invitation.”

“Of course my dear. This is my husband Lucius.”

Lucius stepped forward, looking at her as if she were a block of particularly smelly cheese. “How charming Severus.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Lucia said, extending her hand to shake.

Lucius waved it off, turning and walking toward a grand door.

“You’ll have to excuse him. He was speaking with some colleagues and your name came up. Is it true you were married to a halfblood?” Narcissa asked in a hushed tone.

“Severus is a halfblood.” Lucia said, offended by the question. “And yes. I absolutely was.” The night was off to a terrible start, but at least it wasn’t Lucia’s fault.

Severus interrupted the conversation before Lucia got even more frustrated. “I think what Lucia means to say is that in America they view things differently. She doesn’t see anything wrong with being involved with someone of lesser status as long as they are skilled.”

Lucia looked at him as if he had just performed a soliloquy in a foreign language. He merely shared a tight smile, nudging her forward.

“Well Severus has always been an accomplished wizard. We are in his debt.” Narcissa said, almost apologizing for her husband.

“Yes he is quite… skilled.” Lucia said, eyeing him up and down. If this evening was going to be hell for her, she might as well drag him down him with her.

Narcissa looked at them with thinly veiled disgust before leading them into a large room with a grand staircase and then into a long dining room.

“You will have to excuse the quality of dinner. Our house elves were… liberated from us and I have been attempting to refresh my culinary skills.” Narcissa apologized.

“Cannot be any worse than me.” Lucia said, gazing at the table in front of them.

It was adorned with a white tablecloth that had silver embroidery over the edges. All of the plates were silver along with the silverware and there was a large centerpiece of white roses in the center.

“Will Draco be joining us this evening?” Severus asked.

“I invited him to come down but he may not. The boy has been stubborn since- well since it happened.” Narcissa said.

“He’s been irresponsible.” Lucias said. “His priority should be returning the Malfoy name to its former glory. Instead he reads and stays in his room.”

“I suppose there are worse things a young man could be doing.” Lucia said. She had half a mind to add ‘like joining He Who Shall Not Be Named’ but thought better of it.

“Those are lovely shoes Lucia, wherever did you find them?” Narcissa asked.

“A muggle store in New York.” Lucia replied, knowing the answer would be less than ideal.

Narcissa’s smile visibly soured. “Charming.”

They were seated at the table, with Lucius at the head, Severus to his right, Narcissa to his left and Lucia beside her. Lucia looked across the table at Severus with a scowl, noting that Lucius barely even acknowledged her. She gestured toward the wine as if to say ‘I’m drinking.’

Severus rolled his eyes at her, kicking her from under the table.

Lucia reached across the table and grabbed the wine bottle, pouring herself a tall glass before drinking it quickly.

“My dear, we haven’t even started the first course.”

Lucia stifled a groan. “Exactly.”

Severus snorted. Narcissa did not look amused. Lucius seemed to find the finish on his fork to be quite fascinating.

The first course was served, a cold soup which Lucia regarded as the worst kind of soup in existence. Conversation had marginally improved, turning instead to the Hogwarts quidditch teams which Severus cared a surprising amount about.

“Lucia, did you ever play Quodpot?” Narcissa asked politely.

“Not quite.” Lucia replied.

“How does one not quite play a sport?” Asked Lucius.

“I do remember trying to play it once but I believe I was first out. I never did like doing things I was bad at.” Lucia replied matter of factly.

“I hear you are quite a good singer.” Narcissa commented.

“I’m not sure if I’m all that.” Lucia said.

“I seem to remember Cornellius Fudge mentioning you sang at a Gala he attended.” Lucius said.

“I’m surprised I made much of an impression.” Lucia said.

“He mentioned that you ended up insisting on singing both the male and female part for an opera piece.”

“Oh yes, that gala. That was my first gala and coincidentally the last gala I drank at.” Lucia said, taking another sip of wine. “Although I do remember it was a popular performance. People were commenting on it for weeks.”

“Were the comments good?” Severus jabbed.

“All publicity is good publicity and all that.” Lucia waved it off.

“You’ll have to sing for us while we wait for dessert. We have a lovely parlor with a piano.” Narcissa said.

“Actually, I’m a bit of an art aficionado.” Lucia said as the main course of filet mignon and bearnaise sauce was served. “I have heard you have a fine collection of portraits, many from your own family. I would love to see them.”

“Of course! I’d be happy to show you my collection. I’m quite proud.” Narcissa grinned.

The rest of the meal was spent in friendly conversation with much of the tension dissipating with the delicious food. Despite Narcissa’s warning and the disappointingly cold soup, she was an excellent cook.

“Come this way.” Narcissa said, placing Lucia’s arm through her own. “I will show you the gallery while the men talk.”

Narcissa lead her quietly through the labyrinth of halls in the mansion, pointing out any piece of art that Lucia might be interested in.

They arrived in a large room with a handful of lavish couches in the center. The walls were covered in paintings, many of which were portraits and there were various marble sculptures spread about.

Lucia immediately began her circle around the room, looking at the title of each painting in hopes that it would be the late Narcissa Black.

“Are you looking for anything in particular?” Asked Narcissa.

“Oh, I suppose I’m looking for paintings from before the time period of Leonard Di Caprio.” Lucia said, not really paying attention.

“Da Vinci.” Narcissa said, her voice hardening.

“Yes the one with the beard.”

“I thought you said you were a lover of art.” Narcissa got close to Lucia, stopping her in her tracks.

“I do, I just forgot a simple name.”

“Da Vinci was an astoundingly talented wizard and painter. No person who enjoys art would forget his name.”

Lucia shrugged, trying not to panic. Even if Narcissa was suspicious of her, what would she be suspicious of?

“Severus has been a good friend to me and a better father figure to Draco than Lucius will ever be.” Narcissa snapped. “If your intentions with him are anything besides good, I will make you rue the day you crossed that bloody ocean.”

Lucia felt her heartbeat quicken for a moment. “I assure you, I want nothing but good for Severus. I’m quite fond of him. We have a lot in common and I enjoy talking to him. He’s a good man and I can see that. I’m glad he has friends like you.” What she said was sincere. She really did appreciate that he had people who wished to protect him, though Narcissa was grossly incorrect about the danger Lucia posed.

Narcissa seemed to soften a bit, but still looked at Lucia suspiciously.

“To be honest I just wanted to impress you by seeming like I knew about art. I enjoy art, but I’m not very well informed.” Lucia tried to lie, seemingly convincing Narcissa temporarily.

“Well, should you have any questions, feel free to ask.” Narcissa said.

“Thank you Narcissa.” Lucia smiled, returning back to circling the paintings, trying to seem more thoughtful this time and less frantic.

There was, however, no painting of Narcissa Black. Lucia couldn’t believe it. She had endured this god awful family for nothing. A scowl began to set in her expression and she thought she would need a moment to compose herself.

“Do you have a powder room? I would like to freshen up before dessert.” Lucia asked.

“Of course, right this way.” Narcissa led her back toward the dining hall and gestured to a door that was equally lavish as the rest of the decor.

Lucia entered the bathroom, noting the marble counters and silver toilet. She approached the gilded mirror, ready to reapply lipstick when she noticed a painting on the wall behind her of a young woman with dark hair and crystal blue eyes that matched her dress. She was sitting in what looked like an open air room in front of a vanity, applying powder to her face and primping her hair occasionally. Lucia turned around and read the title: ‘Narcissa in Cerulean’.

The woman was indifferent to Lucia, a trait that was probably good for a painting located in the restroom. Lucia cast a quick silencing charm, hoping Narcissa was well out of earshot regardless before she addressed the portrait.

“Narcissa Black?” Lucia asked, her voice nearly shaking with excitement.

“Why yes, do you need advice on your outfit?”

“No I’m actually ok.”

“Normally that’s all people ask me. I think the color is lovely on you, but your hair could use some work.”

“Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Lucia muttered. “No I actually wanted to ask you about an ancestor of mine, someone you knew in school.”

“Oh yes, I haven’t talked about Hogwarts in so long. How is it?”

Lucia wasn’t sure how to answer. “Very… stylish. Narcissa, I want to know about Isabella Webber.”

Narcissa’s eyes brightened at the mention of her best friend and then were clouded by sadness. “What would you like to know?”

“What was she- what was she like?” Lucia asked.

“She was very bright. She knew how to fix anything and was quite good at cleaning spells. I also remember her loving divination.”

This information excited Lucia. “Was she a seer at all?”

“No, no, nothing like that. Although she was better than I ever was. Couldn’t tell you the difference between a crystal ball and a tea leaf.”

“What about after Hogwarts?” Lucia asked.

“She got engaged the headboy, whatever his name was. I wasn’t invited. We had fallen out by then. I heard that she died during childbirth before they got married. Absolutely tragic.” Narcissa sighed, continuing to powder her nose.

“Was he the headboy the same year you both graduated?” Lucia asked.

“They were the headboy and girl together. Absolutely obnoxious pair, always on about dress codes and skirt lengths.”

Lucia was beginning to like this Portrait.

“Did you ever hear of a Euphemia Webber?”

“No, I can’t say I have.” Narcissa replied, tapping her lip in thought.

“Was there anything special about Isabella? Anything different?” Lucia asked.

“Besides her being an awful bitch? No.” Narcissa responded haughtily.

“Oh don’t I know it.” Lucia said.

“What do you mean?” Narcissa asked.

“Oh nothing at all. Thank you very much for the chat!” Lucia said.

“Of course! You know they make potions for your hair.”

“Merlins fucking hanging beard.” Lucia muttered, leaving the powder room.

“What’s wrong?” Narcissa Malfoy asked from down the hallway.

“You should tell your portraits not to give unsolicited advice on hair products.” Lucia replied, stomping her heels down the hallway.

“Oh I apologize, my namesake has always been opinionated, but can be helpful.” Narcissa smiled at her. “I actually quite like your hair. It seems to fit your personality.”

Lucia was shocked by the kind statement. “Thank you! People have been telling me to straighten it my entire life so I’m always happy to hear that someone likes it.”

“Does Severus like it?” Narcissa asked.

“I believe he does.”

“Well then that is all that matters!”

“Not quite. I think the fact that I like it is a bit more important.” Lucia winked at Narcissa.

Narcissa smiled at Lucia, beginning to understand the odd woman a bit more.

“Shall we join the gentlemen for dessert?”

“I suppose I can tolerate their company.”

The rest of the evening went on with relatively little conflict. Lucius was still an absolute asshole in Lucia’s refined opinion, but Narcissa was kind enough once you got past the judgmental and surprisingly protective exterior.

The Malfoys escorted Severus and Lucia back to the fireplace around nine pm, saying their goodbyes.

“We simply must do this again.” Narcissa said, clasping Lucia’s hands.

“Yes, we must.” Lucius drawled in a bored manner, fingering the shaft of his cane.

“In fact, we are having a gathering over the holidays here. It will be much smaller than usual, maybe a hundred people from all over Europe.”

Lucia would have choked on a drink if she had one.

“But I would insist you both come. And Lucia, it would be delightful if you could sing for us then. Perhaps an Aria meant just for one singer?”

Lucia smiled tightly, trying not to seem off put by the request. “Of course, I would be delighted. I don’t get to use my training often and I enjoy singing Opera greatly.”

“Perfect. New Years Eve. Oh it will be your first New Years Eve together won’t it? How lovely.” Narcissa commented.

Lucia’s face paled noticeably. New Years Eve was the anniversary of her husband’s death. She usually spent it with Emily looking through photo albums and crying. 

Severus must have seen her expression change because he interrupted the conversation.

“It is getting late and we have patrols to attend to.” He put his hand on the small of her back and led her to the fireplace. They had actually traded patrols with Flitwick and Aurora, something that both of them thought was suspicious.

“It was lovely to meet you.” Lucia called meekly before returning to Severus’ chambers.

Severus followed her a moment later, quietly gazing at her.

She was staring at her left hand, specifically her ring finger.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what has upset you. Did you have plans New Years Eve?”

Lucia sighed, putting her hand back down by her side. “In a way, yes. It’s the anniversary of my husband’s death. I planned to be sad. Now I guess I’m pretending to be your girlfriend.”

“You do not need to attend. I can always go alone.” Severus offered up, understanding immediately what she meant. Halloween was still his least favorite night of the year, though he didn’t need to drink anymore to get through it.

Lucia laughed. “I weirdly don’t want to disappoint Narcissa.”

Severus let out a laugh of his own. “Yes, she does have that effect on people. So does Lucius.”

“Oh no, I want to disappoint Lucius. In fact, if he hated me I would consider that to be a moral victory.”

“He’s not quite so bad.”

“He’s terrible.”

There was a pause in conversation.

“Were you able to find the portrait?” Severus asked.

“Yes I was, thought it wasn’t terribly helpful. It was more interested in criticizing my hair.”

“Your hair is lovely.”

Lucia blushed lightly, delighted that he would say that.

“I also found out that she was engaged the headboy and was headgirl with him before she died during childbirth.”

“That would explain her attention to the list in the dream.” Severus commented.

“The list!” Lucia exclaimed, remembering the imposter looking at the list of headboys and girls in the trophy room. “Let’s go look at it!” She said, grabbing his arm and practically dragging him down the hall and up the stairs.

“Can’t this wait for tomorrow?” Severus said, not thinking the information would be of any importance.

“It’s your life. Do you want to wait until tomorrow?”

Severus sighed in concession and they made their way to the trophy room.

The list was quite long. Lucia found the names before Severus, exclaiming out loud “Aha! Headgirl, Isabella Webber, Headboy Cadmus Peverell.” Lucia thought for a moment. “Where do I know that name from?”

Lucia turned to Severus and noticed he was looking at her with an expression of confusion and aw.

“Cadmus Peverell?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am deliriously tired so I'm going to keep this short.  
> Boom!  
> Big piece of the puzzle right there.  
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and favorites. I feel so encouraged when I know people are enjoying the story.


	15. To Make Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Lucia discuss her newfound family history and Severus has a difficult halloween.

“Who is Cadmus?” Lucia asked, looking at Severus with slight concern.

“I think this conversation is best had in one of our offices.” Severus said.

Lucia thought for a moment, remembering that he had never been in her office or chambers. If the information was bad or important, perhaps she’d like to be somewhere she felt more comfortable. 

“Mine.” Lucia answered after a moment.

The walk back was silent, with only the sound of Lucia’s heels against the cold stone of the castle. Lucia couldn’t help her hands from shaking a bit at her sides. She clenched them at her sides, digging her freshly painted fingernails into her palms. Her lipstick was smudged from biting her lips and her hair had come unpinned and wild from running her fingers through it.

Severus wasn’t fairing much better, but he was well used to compartmentalizing his anxiety and stress. He knew that the conversation would be long and difficult, but he was more concerned about the emotional distress of the woman next to him. It was clear she was anticipating some terrible news.

They entered Lucia’s office. Lucia conjured a couch and comfortable chair for them to sit on, imitating the setup of his chambers.

“I’m unsure whether this is good information or bad information, but I will tell you what I know.” Severus began. “It is common knowledge after Potter defeated Voldemort that the deathly hallows are real. The three hallows were at one point all possessed by Potter, but prior to that they were mostly understood only as myths.”

Lucia looked at him in confusion. “What does that story have to do with my ancestors?”

“The three brothers in the story were named Antioch, Ignotus and Cadmus Peverell.” Severus explained.

Realization flashed behind Lucia’s eyes. “The fiance who he resurrected. The woman who was brought back from death but could not pass fully through the veil, suffering to live a half life instead.”

Severus nodded.

“It’s never said if she was sent back once he realized his mistake.” Lucia continued. “What if she never left?” Her eyes were wide.

“It’s possible. Ghosts have not been known to possess people, but from my understanding, she would have been somewhere in between a ghost and human.” Severus replied.

“How did he die? Perhaps he was her first murder.” Lucia asked.

“He committed suicide, or so the story goes.” Severus said.

“He remarried though, and had more children. What about the child that Isabella had?”

“It’s possible that the child was Euphemia. We know he had other children by his wife, and that his line eventually turned into the Gaunt line.” Severus explained.

“Oh merlin, that means I’m a distant cousin of He Who Shall Not Be Named.” Lucia said, ruining her hair further by running both hands through it at once.

“About as distant as Potter. I do not think you have an ounce of his spirit in you.” Severus said, intending to bring comfort.

“Are there any books specifically about Cadmus in the library?”

“Likely some that mention him, though I’m not sure that there would be any full novels.”

Lucia looked resigned for a moment.

“So, while interesting, this information only tells us that an unknown entity, possibly Isabella, with unknown abilities is seeking revenge against the men in my family for an unknown reason.”

“If you choose to look at it that way.” Severus said.

“Where can we go from here?” Lucia asked, leaning forward from her place on the couch.

“Perhaps you can reach out to speak with the Grey Lady again? I know Luna attempted to intercede for you.”

“She did but it only resulted in Luna being told she was a traitor to her house.” Lucia sighed.

Luna had visited her earlier in the week, apologizing for failing at getting information from the Grey Lady but recommending that Lucia persist in her stead.

“Perhaps I could ask.” Severus recommended.

“You could try. I’m unsure if that would help or hurt at this point.” Lucia sighed.

Severus, despite his nature, found himself trying to find something positive to say when he saw how defeated Lucia appeared. He knew it was his life at stake, but that seemed less dire than her mood. Only a half hour ago she was excited, if not a bit nervous, to find out the name of the headboy who had married her ancestor. Instead the discovery had led down a longer series of questions, none of which he had answers to.

“Any information, even if it doesn’t seem to lead anywhere, is a step toward solving this.” Severus said, leaning forward in his chair and grasping her clasped hands.

“Aren’t I supposed to be the positive one? I expect only doom and gloom from you.”

“If you wish for me to resume being cynical, that is very possible.”

Lucia squeezed his hand, allowing a ghost of a smile to appear on her mouth. “No I suppose one of us has to have hope at this point.”

There was a moment of silence before Lucia spoke again. “Thank you. For helping and understanding or trying to anyway.”

Severus was about to reply when she continued.

“It takes a very unusual person to know that they may die by the hands of someone and choose to help them anyway.”

“Lucia, I thought I would die by the hands of any number of people over the years. I have sworn allegiance to people I’ve hated, and I’ve served under and with people who hated me.” He touched his left arm absentmindedly. “My only purpose for the longest time was to die to protect someone else. I somehow failed to do that, and here I am with a life I have no idea what to do with.”

She looked at him with sadness, realizing the weight of his words.

Severus continued. “I do not wish to die.” He paused for a moment. “I am not sure what future I have or with who I may have it with, but I don’t fear it.”

Lucia thought for a moment about what Severus said. He was very much still the lost teenager without a purpose in many ways. She felt an inexplicable urge to hold him, but settled for running a thumb over the tops of his hands.

“I believe it is time for me to retire.” Severus said, reluctantly letting go of her hands and rising from his chair.

“I suppose that would be best.” Lucia replied, standing up and smoothing out her skirt.

“Let me know if you find out anything new. I will do the same.” He said as he exited into the hallway.

“Of course.” Lucia replied, trying to smile as sincerely as she could.

The door closed behind Severus and she immediately felt tears start to well up in her eyes. Lucia wiped furiously at them, refusing to let them fall. They were partly from anger, but also sadness and fear.

The more she knew Severus, the more she wanted him to have a second chance at a life that was stolen from him. He deserved a semblance of happiness and a future that looked very different than the one she had seen for him. She let the thought cross her mind of running a shop together like she had mentioned. When she had brought it up, it was more of an absent minded suggestion, but as she thought about it more and more, she liked the idea.

Lucia thought that it would make her happy, though she had proven herself to be adaptable in most situations as long as she was given her freedom. Ryan had always been excellent at that, allowing her to come home late with no question or concern for where she was or who she was with. If she wanted to do something, she never had to ask for permission. It was something that she had discovered was actually not entirely common among married couples. He trusted her to be doing things that would do no harm to their relationship. If she wanted to sing karaoke until the bar closed, he knew she’d at worst flirt with the karaoke jockey to get her song higher in the queue.

It seemed a bit optimistic for Lucia to be considering a life with Severus. Beyond the whole dream situation, they hadn’t so much as kissed. Even when she met Ryan there was a reasonable level of cynicism. He was an older healer and she was fresh out of school, not ready to settle down. They both had wanted something casual and it had turned into a marriage. With Severus it seemed like the opposite had occurred. They had immediately begun chatting and interacting as if they were a bickering but affectionate couple on their twentieth anniversary.

Not that the physical attraction wasn’t there. When he had grasped her hands earlier, Lucia couldn’t help but notice how large and calloused his own were. She imagined them holding her waist. His fingertips running across her inner thigh. Perhaps he might even grab her neck if she asked him.

Lucia suppressed a shiver, going into her chambers. She knew it probably wasn’t healthy, but the thought of his hands on her had incited a fire in her belly. Under the covers, Lucia slipped a hand down her panties, trying to imagine they were Severus’ and let out a whimper. She knew it didn’t feel as good as the real thing, but it would have to do.

The next couple weeks occurred with relatively little new revelations.

Lucia had attempted to speak with the Grey Lady again, receiving increasingly cold and even hostile exits, this most recent one shaking the portrait that Helena passed through as she exited the room.

Similarly, many of the books both Lucia and Severus scoured, often together in one of their offices, only informed them of conjecture regarding Cadmus. One did mention a possible squib child, but it did not say gender or if it was the child of Isabella or his later wife.

Lucia was frustrated, and it was beginning to show in her classes. She had nearly made a mistake during the potion brewing for the seventh years. Thankfully Severus had noticed.

“Professor Sometimes, I think it would be best to not put Ms. Weasley’s hair in with Ms. Granger’s leaf.”

Lucia looked down, noting she was indeed placing the hairs in the wrong vial and blushed. She was in the dungeons with Severus and around ten students, all of which were continuing on with being an animagus. The room needed to be completely cut off from the outside, save for direct moonlight. Lucia had specially transfigured the ceiling to open up at the right moment, giving the potions the bit of moonlight they required.

Lucia swore under her breath, grabbing the correct vial from the shelf and smiling at Severus in thanks.

The potions were completed without incident, thanks in no small part to Severus, and all they had to do was wait for a lightning storm. Aurora informed Lucia that they were very rare in the fall and winter, and that students may have to wait until spring. A few of the less patient students had complained, but it couldn’t be helped. A lightning storm was necessary for the transformation. Lucia had to wait six months for her own final step in gaining her animagus form.

Halloween Feast was on a Sunday and Lucia waited anxiously for Severus to arrive at dinner. He had met with The Order, which she was embarrassed to find out was a secret organization that helped to save all of wizarding and muggle kind, and had presumably talked to Potter about how he had overcome his possession. Severus had not been at breakfast this morning, meaning Lucia had to make her own coffee, and he had not been in his office as he normally was.

Over the past few weeks Lucia had made a habit to stop by Severus’ office with a stack of papers she needed to grade and occasionally she’d bring a bottle of something to share, though Severus wasn’t much of a drinker. He must have been absent because his office was locked, as were his chambers.

“Have you seen Severus at all today?” Lucia asked Aurora during the feast, beginning to become concerned.

Aurora waved a hand of dismissal. “He sometimes misses the Halloween Feast. I imagine it has something to do with it being the anniversary of their death and all.”

Lucia had a moment of realization. She knew very well what it was like to have a day of celebration become a day of anguish and grief.

“Does he miss every year?” Lucia asked.

“No, but he’s always an even more foul person on Halloween.” Aurora rolled her eyes at the memories. “Honestly Lucia, I can’t see why you two are so close.”

Lucia smiled at her friend. “Well, he’s perhaps a bit nicer to me.”

“A bit.” Aurora scoffed. “The man practically falls to pieces to help you with anything. Lucia needs a potion for her sniffles, Severus has it for her in an instant. Lucia couldn’t find a book in the library, Severus found it. Lucia is afraid of the boggart in her office closet, Severus will banish it for her.”

“In my defense, I can’t cast Riddikulus worth a shit.” Lucia muttered.

“That’s a third year spell.” Aurora raised an eyebrow at her.

“Yes and I am excellent at other valuable things thank goodness.” Lucia took a sip of her Pumpkin juice, noting that the strange drink had grown on her since her time at Hogwarts had begun.

After the feast Lucia headed down into the dungeons with some pasties stuffed into her pockets, resolving to speak with Severus whether he wished to be spoken to or not.

It’s not that she wanted to intrude on his privacy, but more that she knew privacy was not what he needed.

Lucia knocked on the door to his office aggressively, calling out his name. “Severus! I was wondering if you wanted to have dessert with me.”

She paused for a moment, preparing to knock again before the door next to his office opened and Severus looked at her from the doorway to his chambers.

“Oh excellent.” Lucia said, squeezing past him despite not receiving a formal invitation.

Severus looked more disheveled than usual, his hair usually neatly parted in the center was in disarray around his face. The crease that normally resided on his forehead had seemingly deepened overnight, making him appear even more ill tempered the normal. He was looking at her with something between confusion and exhaustion.

Lucia pulled the pasties from her robes, noting they were beginning to look a bit soggy and held them out to him with a nervous smile. “Perhaps we can ask Winky to get us something less… crushed.” Lucia said nervously.

Severus couldn’t help but let a small snort of laughter escape before he immediately began to feel guilty again.

Grief was not a linear path, that he knew. It ebbed and flowed with the years and he had accepted that. But this year had been particularly difficult, mainly due to the woman in front of him.

Lucia had managed to bombard his emotional wellbeing with a barrage of flirtation, kindness and an inexplicable desire to spend time with him. Before the first war, people had usually avoided him. Even Lily had eventually stopped wanting to be near him. That had certainly not changed over the years.

And Lily. Today was her day. It was the day he was supposed to dedicate entirely to her and yet he had wanted to see Lucia, even missed her. The guilt overwhelmed him and he had locked himself in his chambers, promising to spend the day honoring Lily.

But then Lucia showed up with crushed pasties and a nervous smile and for a moment he had not forgotten, but the pain hadn’t felt so overwhelming.

Lucia could see the conflict on his face and put the pasties down on the coffee table, sitting down on the couch.

“I was wondering if you could tell me about her.” Lucia asked, her eyes softening. “Or share a memory. I’d like to know about her. She must have been wonderful.”

Severus was confused for a moment. Why would she want to know about Lily? He paused for a moment, examining Lucia’s face to see if there were any false intentions behind them, or even a morsel of resentment, but none laid there.

He said down in his chair and sighed. “She had the most beautiful eyes. They were a shade of green I don’t think I could ever replicate, and yet there they are in her son. Many described her as charming, and she was, but she was also stubborn. If she believed in something, she believed in it above all other things. She loved more fiercely than anyone I’ve ever known and I’m thankful that she loved me, even if it wasn’t how I wanted.”

“She sounds like an amazing person.” Lucia said. “Do you have a picture of her you could show me?”

Severus crossed the room to his bedside stand pulling out the picture he kept there. He paused for a moment, looking down at the smile. If Lucia hadn’t been there, he may have allowed himself to cry. “Here.” He said, handing it to her.

Lucia took it gingerly, understanding the importance of such a thing. “Oh she is lovely. I wish I could see her eyes better.” After a moment Lucia said “You should frame this. Put it somewhere you can see it. Ryan is right next to my bed where he belongs.”

“Lily never belonged in my life. She was much too good for me.” Severus said.

Lucia placed the picture on the table before she approached Severus, putting a hand on his arm. “Your path to becoming the man you are today may have been filled with mistakes. You may have chosen darkness. You may have hurt people. But today, the man you are, the person you have shown me, he is a good man. A better man than most and certainly one far too good for me.”

Her voice was earnest and Severus could tell she meant it. The guilt rose up in him again. This witch had quickly taken his mind from Lily. He shirked her hand, walking back to his chair.

Lucia watched his expression shift and knew she had to change topics again as she sat on the couch. “Would you tell me about a memory you have of her? Something you think exemplifies who she is?”

“I don’t know why you’d care to hear-”

Lucia cut him off. “If she’s part of the reason why you are who you are, then she is important to me.”

The statement struck Severus as odd, but she continued to speak.

“And that is a choice I am making. Ryan doesn’t ever have to be important to you, but he is always a part of who I am so I’d hope you’d accept him regardless.”

Severus thought for a moment. He had never felt jealous when Lucia brought up Ryan, and she did often. She sometimes seemed sad when she spoke of specific things, but often it was a comment about a trip they took together or that she tried to get him to go sing with her and he never did. Severus had never felt like he was in competition with Ryan, partially because how can you compete with a dead man, but also because Lucia never seemed to speak about him like she was mourning. She spoke about him like she was celebrating.

“We were eleven, just getting on the train for the first time. She was so excited to do magic for the first time. I was just excited to get away from my home. She had just gotten her wand but hadn’t been able to use it yet and was scouring through her charms book, trying to find something she could do. I remember how beautiful and excited she was. Her eyes were glowing. She managed to cast a rather powerful lumos, illuminating the entire cabin and nearly blinding both of us. But she couldn’t manage to extinguish it. We made it all the way to the castle with a glowing wand before Minerva extinguished it.”

Lucia let out a small chuckle at the story. “Was she embarrassed at all?”

“No I remember her being quite proud actually.”

Lucia let out a full laugh this time. “Good girl, she ought to be proud!”

“She was quite the potion maker as well.”

“I’m sure you helped quite a bit.”

“Perhaps at first, but she didn’t need much help at all. Although I was always a bit better.”

“I see you are a very modest man Severus.” Lucia teased, happy the conversation was being lighter.

“She did often tell me I took myself a bit too seriously.”

“You should have listened to her.” Lucia said.

Severus was quiet for a moment. “Do you ever feel guilty? Moving on, that is?”

Lucia leaned forward, picking up the picture again. “I never was so vain as to think Ryan was the only person I could ever be with. He wasn’t perfect and no one ever will be, so I knew early on that I might meet someone else. But for awhile I didn’t want to. I think I felt like his grief took up so much space inside me, I didn’t have enough room to love someone. And then the grief became… well it didn’t really get smaller. It doesn’t get smaller. My heart got bigger, I was able to handle the grief, handle the love I had and still have for him, and still know that there is space to love again. None of those three things have to take away from the other. They can all exist at the same time in the same person and all be equally true. I can celebrate Ryan’s life, mourn his death, love him until the day I die like I promised, and love someone else.” Lucia glanced up at Severus.

He noticed her eyes were welling up with tears and had the distinct urge to hold her.

“You know, it helps a lot to know that Ryan would have wanted me to be happy. He always did. It’s hard to feel guilty when it’s what he would have wanted for me.” He could hear the strain in her voice.

“Lily would have wanted me to leave the death eaters. She would have wanted me to protect her son. I did those things. I’m not sure what she would want me to do now.”

“You have earned some happiness, Severus. Even in death I am sure she wants that for you.” Lucia glanced at the rather sad looking pasties. “What a shit friend am I. Bringing you ruined dessert and then crying on you.” She wiped her eyes quickly before handing the picture back to Severus. “She really is beautiful. You were lucky to have known her. What a gift to have loved someone so good.”

It didn’t feel like a gift, but Severus looked at the picture, silently vowing to frame it as she recommended.

“I did speak to Potter about his possession.” Severus offered up, hoping she would stay a bit longer.

“How about we talk about that tomorrow? I’m a bit tired and I don’t want to intrude further on your evening.”

“You’re not intruding.”

Lucia laughed. “Oh yes I am, but thank you. I hope perhaps you feel a bit better.”

“I suppose I feel marginally better.” Severus said. 

Lucia was in the doorway about to head to her room when she turned around, nearly running into his chest. “Thank you for telling me about Lily.” She looked up at him, slowly lifting a hand to move a stray hair back into place behind his ear before she turned around again and walked quickly back to her quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much plot today and that will likely continue to be a trend in the next few. The next chapter should be lead up to Yule Ball and the one after will the the Yule Ball which I'm really excited about.
> 
> Thank you so much for the overwhelmingly positive response to the last chapter. I was so excited to reveal Cadmus and give some clues to the plot. From here on out I'm kind of making up a bit of lore, which I don't LOVE doing because I'm kind of a fiend for research, so if it ever sounds hokey or made up, that's because it's hokey and made up.
> 
> Also I apologize for the delay! I started a new position as a tutor/learning aide for a special education homeschool kiddo and am also a student myself. On top of that I'm producing my own album right now which is uhhh insane and writing a new single. I wanted to get this out sooner but I can only stay up until 3 am writing so many days a week until my body just stops.


	16. To Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucia gets suckered into learning how to dance and receives an unexpected surprise.

“I really don’t see what the point of this is.” Lucia said, strapping on a pair of heels she hadn’t even looked at since unpacking over the summer.

“As a professor you have certain expectations.” Severus said, strolling across his chambers. He had vanished his couch and chair, leaving only the stone ground. He looked at the floor with a sneer before transforming it into a smooth marble, ideal for turning a dance partner.

Lucia scoffed. “I hardly think anyone expects me to be a dancer.”

“Why not? You’re musically inclined.”

“Yes and when I’m on stage I specifically choose not to dance because I move like a wounded goose.”

“I am having a difficult time imagining that.”

“Oh just you wait.” Lucia said, standing up tall. She was wearing a long dress, hoping that it would hide the uselessness of her legs.

Severus stood in the center of the room, extending an arm in invitation. Lucia had brought her record player with her when he had invited her to learn how to dance.

In truth it was more of a command, which Lucia was only somewhat bothered by.

“We are expected as professors to teach the students how to ballroom dance.” He had said while they were working on course material together.

Lucia examined her nails closely. “I’ll have to look over my employment contract. I don’t believe that duty was included.”

“Perhaps but neither was letting students know that the broom cupboard on the third floor doesn’t get checked on patrols.” Severus said casually. “That has been changed by the way.”

“How did you find out?” Lucia said, looking up from her nails at him.

Severus sat casually in his chair, revising the fifth year exams he planned to issue before Christmas break. “I heard it mentioned in the dueling club.”

“Fucking Cecilia. She can’t keep quiet, can she?” Lucia muttered.

“It was actually Astoria, which I was greatly surprised by. She seems like quite the proper pureblood witch.”

Lucia looked at him coyly. “Looks can be very deceiving.”

Severus nearly cracked a smile. “If you are implying you look even remotely innocent, may I please point out that you always look as if you have cakes stuffed in your pockets.”

“What if I do? You’ll just have to get a little closer to find out.”

“Fortunately we will be very close when I teach you how to Viennese waltz.”

Lucia grimaced and then resumed pouting. “They couldn’t even make the name appealing could they? It sounds like a strange German sausage dish.”

“Says the woman whose last name is an adverb."

Lucia feigned shock before grinning at him. “Why Severus, I never knew being insulted with grammar terms could be so sensual.”

Severus snorted in response, enjoying her banter.

Lucia began speaking again. “As much as I would love to have you teach me how to float across the floor, I’m afraid I have to say-”

Severus interrupted her. “You don’t have the ability to choose. The ball is in a month and we need to begin teaching students sooner rather than later.”

Lucia rolled her eyes, struggling to maintain her inner need to defy anyone telling her not to do something.

“If it will make the situation more appealing, I do have a rather rare vintage of Primitivo red.”

Lucia raised an eyebrow. “You know I will drink literal swill and you think a rare vintage will appeal to me.”

“You’re correct, I should have offered you the dreck that you normally offer me.”

“Quite right.” Lucia imitated a posh british accent. “What time should I come over?”

Severus had not expected Lucia to dress the part, instead assuming she would show up in her typical brightly colored attire. Instead she arrived in a white dress that swept the floor, held up only by thin straps. The material looked to be satin and he assumed it was her wedding dress.

Lucia approached him in the center of the room, making sure to do her best imitation of what she assumed dancers walked like. Her arms were extended to her sides and her chest was puffed out. She looked a bit like a goose after all, with her head bobbing forward and back.

“I can’t see your feet.” Severus said.

“That” Lucia said, tapping his nose “Is precisely the point.”

“I cannot teach you how to dance without being able to see where you are stepping.”

Lucia huffed, quickly transforming her long dress into a knee length skirt.

“Wandless magic? Very impressive.”

“I am the transfigurations professor for a reason.” Lucia said with a proud smile.

“The first thing that we must discuss is isolating the upper body.” Severus began, demonstrating a lifted posture.

Lucia attempted to imitate him, puffing out her chest.

“Not quite like an ape initiating a fight.” Severus laughed.

“I’m just trying to channel what I feel on the inside.” Lucia replied.

Severus reached forward, placing a hand on her stomach and back and straightening her posture. He then put his hand under her chin, lifting her face so she looked to be gazing past him before pressing her shoulders back to open her chest.

Lucia felt herself flush for a moment, unsure how to respond to the intimate touch.

“Try to keep your back straight and your core engaged. It will prevent your neck from… well from looking like a goose.”

“I fucking told you.” Lucia said.

“Place your left hand on my shoulder.”

Lucia reached out, grabbing on to him.

“No no, just rest your hand there. It’s like an anchor. Press your palm into my shoulder, but try not to grip.”

Lucia tentatively released her grip, doing as he asked. She nearly clasped his robes again when he placed his hand in the middle of her back, with her arm now resting on his.

He must have noticed her tense because he looked at her quizzically.

“Just very ticklish.” Lucia said with a nervous smile.

Severus nodded before he grasped her other hand. “The next step is having the correct body contact.” He used the hand on her back to press her chest and ribcage into him. “It’s important to try and maintain the connection of our torsos while dancing. It will make everything else much easier.”

“Will it though?” Lucia asked, feeling herself begin to sweat.

“The next important concept is keeping our feet close to each other but slightly offset.”

Lucia felt him step closer and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to learn how to dance because she knew she’d embarrass herself. She did not anticipate that she’d be this flustered.

“Let’s see if you can sense where I want you to step.” Severus said.

“Wait which foot do I use first?”

“Step left, step right and then step together with your left. Then right step, left step and together with right.”

“I’m doomed.” Lucia despaired.

“When you feel me turn in a direction with my upper body, attempt to mirror it using only your ribcage and upper body.”

Lucia inhaled through her nose, trying to not think about the fact that they were just a few layers of clothing away from a very intimate scenario.

The music began to play behind them, a traditional slow waltz that Lucia had heard before but never danced to. She felt Severus press into her, indicating that she should step back. It took all her concentration to step with her left foot.

“Your step was much too large.” Severus said. “Don’t think so much about stepping. Think more about lifting your foot and feeling our connection send you back.”

Lucia nodded. They tried again, this time making it the second part of the pattern where she was expected to step right first. She stepped left by mistake and swore, losing her posture.

Severus let go of her back, moving to grab the back of her neck and correct her posture.

Lucia nearly let out a moan, the feeling of his hand on her neck guiding her eliciting images she could barely contain.

“Don’t let your posture drop.” Severus chided.

“Says the man whose composure is apparently made of steel.” Lucia commented.

Severus couldn’t help but notice her breathing seemed a bit heavier despite them not doing anything more rigorous than a handful of steps. He couldn’t help but smirk at the realization.

“It takes quite a bit more than a warm body to make me lose my composure.” He teased.

In truth Severus had been quite distracted as well. She was quite a bit shorter than him and he had an excellent view of her breasts when he glanced down at her to check her posture, especially when she leaned back and opened her shoulders as the dance required. She was more buxom than he remembered at the beginning of the year, with the school’s desserts causing her to fill out. It wasn’t an unpleasant change, he had noted. Her hips had also become more round, something she emphasized often in her high waisted pants.

He noted that she was getting warmer as well, and was thankful he had layers of clothing to hide his flushing skin. This was the closest they had been besides a lingering hug and he couldn’t help but appreciate how she felt under his hands.

Lucia was always a strong woman, sometimes to a fault. She was stubborn and often more than a bit contrarian. He felt it in the way she moved and the tension she held in her back. She was stiff and moved in the way she wanted. It made her a terrible dance partner, but those characteristics were something he was beginning to love about her.

“You should relax more.” He commented after she had stumbled again.

“I am finding that physically impossible at the moment.” Lucia muttered.

“Perhaps a different style of dance is better suited to you?” Severus asked, finally releasing her from his hold.

“I was really good at rubbing my butt on people in school.”

“What?” Severus asked, confused as to what she meant.

“Ilvermorney was much less… formal about dances.” Lucia said casually. “Perhaps I can teach you sometime.” She winked.

“I hardly think that would be appropriate to do in front of students.” Severus replied.

“Well then we will just have to do it privately.”

Severus was silent for a moment. “I think I will request Minerva to help me teach the students.”

Lucia let out a bark of laughter. “Probably for the best. I told you it was a waste of time.”

“I hardly think it was a waste of time.” Severus said. “Now you can at least feign dancing. Though perhaps you should hide your feet.”

“That’s the plan.” Lucia said, transfiguring her dress back to the length she arrived in.

“Though you may need a more voluminous skirt to hide them properly.” Severus said. “I can’t imagine this dress hid your feet well at your wedding.”

“Oh this wasn’t my wedding dress. My wedding dress was red. I also didn’t dance at my wedding. We eloped. I think I bought this for an Opera performance.”

Severus was thoughtful for a moment, trying to imagine Lucia in a red dress.

“Now I believe I was bribed to be here.” Lucia said, gesturing to the bottle of wine that was on his table.

“Ah yes, the only thing that makes my company worthwhile.”

“At least you are aware of your shortcomings.” Lucia teased.

Severus quickly conjured the couch. He paused for a moment, considering forgoing the chair altogether before conjuring it as well, not wanting it to be obvious that he enjoyed being close to her.

Lucia grabbed the wine bottle, casting a spell to open it before pouring two generous glasses. “It’s Friday.” She said haphazardly.

“As if a day of the week would stop you.”

“I’m offended. I’m only drinking because I’m with my favorite colleague.”

“Have I usurped Aurora?” Severus asked, surprised at the admission.

“Barely, but if you try to teach me how to do another type of dance I can assure you that your rank will drop below Professor Binns.”

“That is quite the threat.”

“I’m just letting you know exactly how much I do not enjoy dancing.”

“What a terrible shame.”

“What do you mean?”

“I quite enjoyed it.” Severus said, no deception in his tone.

Lucia was caught off guard, usually the one to flirt openly. “Are you sure you didn’t get into the wine prior to our lesson?”

“Unfortunately I do not have that excuse.”

Lucia took a large drink of the wine, noting the tart flavor and richness. It was dark and full bodied and intoxicating, far better than what she typically purchased for herself. She was not a wine connoisseur by any measure, but she had been to enough events put on by people who were willing to pay more money to get drunk than she was, and she knew the markings of an expensive wine.

“You’re really spoiling me with this wine.” Lucia said.

“I couldn’t imagine a more special occasion.” Severus said.

“A holiday, or perhaps your birthday.” Lucia commented.

Severus coughed slightly. “I thought perhaps your birthday would be an appropriate reason to drink it.”

Lucia let a grin split across her face. “How in Merlin’s name do you know that it’s my birthday?” She hadn’t even told Aurora, mostly because she hated to be disappointed. After spending her early twenties with very few friends, and even fewer reliable friends, she had grown accustomed to not celebrating her birthday, opting instead to just try to make plans with people that week without the pressure of celebration.

“Minerva let it slip.” Severus answered. It was a lie. He had snooped in her file thanks to his access as Deputy Headmaster.

“You really didn’t have to. It’s not an important day.”

“I would argue today is very important.” Severus said.

“Oh yes? Why is that?” Lucia asked.

“November 15th is the day that Lucia Sometimes’ possible career as a professional dancer came to an abrupt and ungraceful end.”

Lucia let out a full bodied laugh, throwing her head back. She looked at him with delight. “I shall celebrate the death of my career then.”

“Cheers.” Severus said, extending his glass.

“Cent’anni!” Lucia exclaimed, finishing her glass.

Severus rose, extending his hand to take her glass. He refilled it and returned, hesitating for a moment before choosing to sit next to her on the couch.

It was large enough where they were not touching, but he could feel her warmth next to him, something he had missed immediately after they stopped dancing.

“I did get you an actual gift, not just drinks.” Severus said.

“Libation is gift enough.” Lucia said. “But also, gimme.” Her voice was giddy and Severus resisted a chuckle.

“I’m afraid it may disrupt your plans for your Christmas Break.” Severus said.

“Oh yes I have a very strict schedule.” Lucia said. “I’m not sure I can fit you in between petting my cat and trying to prepare for the Malfoy party.”

“Well then I hope you can make time on the 20th.” Severus said, pulling an envelope from his pocket.

Lucia opened it gingerly. Inside were two tickets to a performance of various Debussy arias. She noted the venue was in London, a place she had yet to explore.

“You can attend with anyone you like.” Severus said.

Lucia slapped him on the arm. “Clearly I’m taking you. Don’t be ridiculous.” She looked at the tickets in awe. “How did you know I loved Debussy?”

“In truth I didn’t. I always appreciated Debussy’s influence on modern music, especially jazz, and there aren’t often shows dedicated to him because he only finished one Opera in its entirety.”

“He was so particular about the libretto, but also so profound.” Lucia said, smiling at Severus; before grasping his hand. “I can’t tell you how excited I am! Not to mention impressed. I can’t say any man has taken me to the Opera before. I usually have to drag them.”

Severus was pleased to hear that. “If you would like, we could also go to dinner beforehand.”

“Why Severus, if I didn’t know better I’d call that a date.” Lucia teased, squeezing his hand.

Severus flushed, looking down at their clasped hands. Suddenly he felt like a shy schoolboy again. A shy school boy that was an idiot to think the head girl would ever fall in love with him.

Lucia noticed his change in demeanor and placed her other hand on his knee, turning into him. “I didn't mean it like that. I’m really happy to go. With you. If things were different, if I weren’t well… you know, maybe it could be a date.” Lucia stumbled over the words, trying to be both comforting and not expose her weak underbelly of affection.

Severus pulled back his hand but did not move his leg away from her. “It’s not as if I would expect a young woman such as yourself to be interested in- in someone like me.”

“Someone kind and intelligent? An excellent dancer and potioneer? Someone who makes me laugh? No I imagine not. I’m aiming for the dreadfully dull, daft and disrespectful.” Lucia said, squeezing his thigh lightly. “Besides, I’m the murderous widow who probably drinks too much and definitely would be constituted as ‘used goods’ by any self respecting wizard.”

“Has anyone said that about you?” Severus asked, shocked.

“Not in so many words, but certainly it has been implied. I had a man tell me he wouldn’t trust me to raise a child with the right values.” Lucia sipped her wine.

“Well you have been telling the older students where to have sex.” Severus said.

“They are doing it anyway. And do you know what happens when you do it in an unsafe place? You make mistakes. You rush things. You forget to cast a spell or take potion. I’m doing it for their health.”

Severus sighed, knowing she had a point. “Regardless, you aren’t used goods. And you would make an excellent mother.”

Lucia smiled sadly at him. “I almost was one you know?”

Severus assumed she meant that she and her husband had considered having kids.

“It was an accident. I had just gotten a promotion with MACUSA. Ryan and I talked about it for weeks. It was really difficult because I think we both wanted to have kids someday, but we both felt like it was too early. I mean we had barely gotten engaged at that point and I had wanted to really enjoy that time together. We were so happy living in the city, but neither of us wanted to raise a kid there. It was selfish but we deserved to be selfish.”

Severus realized what she was talking about and thought for a moment that perhaps he should hold her hand.

Lucia continued. “I don’t really regret it. I think if he were still alive I would think it was the right choice, and fuck, it probably was regardless.” She smiled sadly. “But you see, I am used goods.”

“Not at all. You made the right choice for yourself. People have made terrible mistakes, more foul than anything you could imagine, and still been loved.” Severus said.

Lucia glanced at his left forearm, covered by his robes. “Some people have also been redeemed many times over. I’ve what? Saved a couple horny teenagers from having an accidental pregnancy? Nominate me for an Order of Merlin!” The sarcasm was rich in her tone.

“You’ve saved people from more than that.” He said, thinking back to his night in the Shrieking Shack.

“Yeah well, I could have saved a lot more than that.” She finished her glass of wine. “I think I’m going to retire for the evening. I told Myron Wagtail I’d meet him in Hogsmeade tomorrow to rehearse for the Yule Ball.” Lucia said, feeling like the mood had soured.

“I can escort you to your chambers.” He offered.

“Fortunately I am a grown ass woman and can walk myself.” Lucia said tersely, perhaps a bit harsher than she intended. “I’m sorry, I’m just a bit tired. Dancing really took a toll on me.”

“Perhaps.” Severus responded, unsure of what to say.

“And for the record, I do wish it were a date.” Lucia said, and then began walking back to her chambers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay. I was sick when I wrote the last chapter and went from having a stomach flu to a cold. That's what happens when you work with teens I guess.
> 
> My life has been nuts. I'm working on a single which will hopefully be recorded in the next couple months, my boyfriend is possibly getting a job in another city so we might be moving (we've been together for 3 years so I'd move with him), and my job has been super stressful.
> 
> I work with a kid on the spectrum as a learning coach/nanny/tutor and it's been really emotionally exhausting. He's a very high emotion kid so when he's happy he's super sweet and wonderful and when he's angry he is a tyrant. It's been overwhelming and exhausting, even just working part time. My poor boyfriend hears me complain about it every day. He's probably sick of it.
> 
> Any way this chapter is fluff. Fluffy fluff fluff.


	17. To Have a Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Yule Ball - enough said.

Severus closed his eyes tightly. His class of fifth years were being especially incompetent, something he blamed entirely on the upcoming Yule Ball.

His temper recently had been especially volatile, something he told himself was primarily because of the impending holidays. Severus had never really enjoyed Christmas, opting to stay at Hogwarts instead of going home to his family. It was something that had extended into adulthood and gotten worse as he had gotten older. A mild distaste for the entire season had turned into an acute dislike.

But if Severus were to truly be honest with himself, he would admit that he was a bit more annoyed that he no longer seemed to have Lucia’s full attention.

He had gotten used to her spending a fair share of her evenings with him, even if it was primarily spent in silence, but lately she had been leaving in the evening and for entire days on the weekend to spend time with Myron Wagtail, the lead singer of The Weird Sisters. Severus remembered teaching him in his early days at Hogwarts. He was, if anything, a mildly accomplished wizard in the field of charms and admittedly very popular due to his musical ability and good looks. Severus remembered many of the students fawning over him, something that Severus only observed with mild annoyance at the time. It seemed Lucia was no different.

In the little time that Severus had spent with her over the last month, Lucia kept bringing up old memories of Myron as well as what they were currently up to. Everything from splinching themselves while drinking and ending up in the hospital together to co writing songs, their closeness and history was beginning to feel like an imminent threat to Severus, one he was taking out on the students.”

“Phillips, one would think you’ve already consumed your befuddlement draught by the absolute idiocy in which you are ripping apart the sneezewort!” Severus snapped, whipping around to face the class.

“I-I’m sorry professor. My mistake.” The student muttered before scurrying to get more from the ingredient supplies.

Severus glanced up at the clock, realizing the ball was just a few hours a way and he was expected to help set up. “Class dismissed. If you did not complete the potion today, then I can’t say I have high hopes for your O.W.L. examinations.”

“But sir, class isn’t supposed to be over until 4:30.” One of the Ravenclaws said.

The rest of the class looked at her as if she had just dropped a wedding cake. A few even hissed at her to shut up.

“As I’m sure you can imagine, the Yule Ball doesn’t set itself up for you insipid students.” Severus drawled.

The students rushed out, excited to primp and dress up for the evening. Severus couldn’t say he shared the same excitement.

The Great Hall was slowly being prepared for the evening all week, with various pieces of decor being staged then concealed in order for them to be easily set up day of. When Severus arrived, much of it had already been arranged.

Severus glanced around for a moment, noting the silver and blue decor.The doorway to the hall was replaced with an archway made of intertwined metal that shifted and twisted around itself. Instead of the typical floating candles, there were glowing bubbles of silver that emitted a radiant light as they danced around the room. A stage had been set up where the staff table typically was and in front of it was a dancefloor of solid marble flooring. There were chairs and tables set up in the back of the room with blue streamers and enchanted ribbons tied in bows that glowed in dim lighting. Most notably there were beautiful flower arrangements scattered about, some as large as Lucia herself.

“Oh Severus, could you help Lucia in the courtyard? I believe she is erecting the gazebo.” McGonagall said as he entered. She was levitating another large arrangement next to the stage.

“Of course.” Severus replied, heading outside with only a small amount of displeasure.

Lucia was standing in the center of the courtyard with her wand raised, levitating part of the dome of a large wooden gazebo that had already been put together. Severus noted her hair was in curlers and wrapped in a scarf and it looked as if she was wearing a large swathe of fabric around her neck.

She glanced at him as he approached and smiled. It must have been obvious that he was staring at her neck because she said “To keep my voice warm. I’d hate to have it crack onstage.”

“Ah yes, the performance you have been working so diligently on. How many songs will you grace us with?” He said, with perhaps a bit too much edge to his voice.

Lucia looked at him oddly. “Just one, but we’ve been working on other things.” She said offhandedly. “Could you help me raise the rest of this?” She gestured to the pieces of the structure around them.

They made quick work of the rest of the gazebo, until the last step was to decorate it. Lucia enchanted it to play some gentle classical piano music, putting a few benches to the side and even sneaking a piece of mistletoe to hang in the middle of the gazebo while Severus wasn’t looking.

She had noticed Severus had been a bit more sour than usual, but hadn’t really started taking it personally until recently. It had become abundantly clear that he was jealous of how much time she was spending with Myron. Every time she mentioned him, Severus found some inexplicable reason to insult the man. Whether it be his appearance, the unoriginality of his lyrics, or his rumored behaviors, Severus had made it clear he did not like Myron. It had gotten to the point where Lucia had considered telling him that he is gay, just so he would stop acting like a bratty child.

Instead she had become increasingly obtuse about their time together, even though she had exciting news to share. Myron had connected her with his recording label and she was beginning to work on her second studio album, primarily thanks to his assistance. She found co-writing to always be more enjoyable than writing alone and missed her friend Emily very much for that reason. She was always much better at the melody and production end of songwriting than Lucia was. Myron had filled that role rather seamlessly, giving an endless stream of ideas to her half baked melodies and thrown together lyrics. It was a thrilling development, but one she knew Severus would take poorly at best. She wasn’t sure how he would take knowing she wasn’t planning on teaching at Hogwarts after the next year.

Her plan was to get a job at a shop somewhere part time and work on her albums with Myron. He knew she didn’t want to tour again, having found it to be exhausting and not enjoyable, so it would be more of just an album for an album’s sake, but that’s how she had always felt about music. As soon as it became how she made money, it was less enjoyable. Suddenly she had to navigate complex social circles, foster connections, network and advertise and then maybe she’d make money. With Myron as her producer and co-writer, she’d be able to produce an album that she wanted to make without having to tour it and ideally make some money back on it.

She knew Severus would be sad to see her leave Hogwarts, primarily because they had become so close, but she had to do what was best for her and it had become abundantly clear that she was not cut out for teaching.

Minerva had already called her into her office a handful of times to discuss how to appropriately discipline students, what type of advice to give them, and, most annoyingly, to promote abstinence amongst sexually active students. Lucia had never liked following rules that she didn’t understand or agree with as a teen and certainly liked them even less as an adult. It was becoming increasingly obvious that Lucia was not a good fit for the strict rules McGonagall enforced.

“Are you going to change for the ball?” Lucia asked, glancing at his robes.

“I can’t imagine why I would.” Severus said, pulling down the sleeve of his dress shirt.

“Well aren’t you lucky. Not all of us are so good looking that we can wear what we wear every day to a ball.” Lucia teased.

“I think it’s more that any improvement I may make would be marginal at best.” Severus said.

“I hardly think that is true. Although I do have a hard time imagining you in anything besides your robes. Tell me Severus, do you wear them to sleep?”

Severus snorted at the idea. It was true that he had worn the same robes for basically every school day, event, summer evening and holiday party since he was in his early twenties. He had never seen the need for another kind, finding that he looked formal enough and casual enough for most environments.

“Either way, I best be getting ready. Obviously my hair isn’t even remotely close to finished.” Lucia gestured to her head.

“I assume Myron will be escorting you this evening?” Severus commented, partially to confirm his suspicions and partially to prepare himself in case they came in together.

Lucia let out a bark of laughter. “Hardly. I was planning on arriving on my own, though if you’d like to be my arm candy for the evening, merlin knows I wouldn’t complain.”

Severus was surprised by the offer and then remembered he had agreed to arrive with Minerva as the Deputy Headmaster. “Unfortunately I have other duties to attend to, but I would be happy to be your primary dance partner.”

“Then I’m afraid you won’t spend much time on the dance floor.”

“What if I promise to share a flask with you.”

Lucia smiled brightly before a look of disappointment crossed her face. “I try not to drink before performing anymore. In fact I’m trying to drink less.”

Severus was surprised by the admission. He had considered more than once that Lucia did drink a bit more than the average person, but he didn’t think it was a problem. “Is there anything you need help with?” He asked.

“No, it’s not like that. I just- I drink when things get hard and I don’t think that’s a healthy way to deal with things.” Lucia said, not meeting his eyes. “I’m trying to face things head on. Besides, I’d like to know that any choice was made in good consciousness.”

“I suppose that makes sense.” Severus said mildly.

“I can’t help but blame myself for no forward movement on figuring out who Isabella is and maybe if I didn’t drink while studying up on it, perhaps I would have made more progress.”

“That isn’t your fault. Potter’s advice on possession was hardly helpful at all.” Severus said.

His meeting with The Order had been rather anticlimactic, with his question to Potter receiving more than a few odd looks. Harry had been more than happy to help, explaining that his love for his friends and family had overwhelmed Voldemort’s possession. Severus felt the bile rise in his throat at the sickly sweet statement.

“It’s not just that. I just- I don’t want you to think of me as your weird colleague that drinks wine.”

“I don’t think of you that way.” Severus said.

“But you do! I mean you’ve used wine as an incentive twice and for good reason. It works. It’s fine. I just don’t want to be that person anymore.”

Severus was sad for a moment, wondering if she’d still want to grade papers with him if she wasn’t looking for a drinking companion.

As if reading his mind she said “But don’t worry, I still hate grading alone so perhaps you can turn me on to whatever tea you’ve been brewing recently that smells like dirt and grass.”

“It’s chamomile.”

“Smells like grass.”

“It does wonders for the nerves.”

“I can’t imagine something that smells like grass being good for the nerves.”

Severus snorted in response to her stubbornness. “Don’t you have a dress to squeeze into or makeup to apply?” He questioned.

“You don’t even know the half of it.” Lucia huffed in response. 

They parted silently, returning to their respective chambers. Severus simply required a shower and perhaps a bit of Sleakeazy’s, though he was loathe to admit it.

Lucia, on the other hand, was just beginning the long and arduous process of getting ready. Despite knowing she wanted to pull her hair back, Lucia had chosen to put her hair in curlers that morning, attending all her classes looking like someone’s disoriented grandmother. She figured with curlers and a generous helping of smoothing products, she may have manageable hair for a sleek bun. If that failed, then a messy bun would have to do.

After what felt like a battle royale involving her hair brush, Lucia had finally managed to artfully craft her hair into a curly bun with pieces framing her face. Never mind that she would be finding bobby pins for weeks.

She painted her nails black, shaping them into points as she had seen Narcissa’s. Her makeup was kept relatively simple with a cat eye and red lipstick.

Lucia looked at the dress hanging in front of her. She had worn it on her wedding day and a handful of events after. The cherry red of it was very appropriate for the holidays and always accented her skin and eyes beautifully. It was originally a halter neckline, but for this evening she transformed it into a strapless dress with a scalloped neckline that followed the pattern of the lace. The waist was tucked and accented by a satin cutout and red belt. The skirt was tight on her hips, only flaring out slightly at her feet. A long slit went down the center, allowing her thin red strappy stilettos to peak through. Lucia knew the shoes would probably not last the whole evening, but they at least would look good while they lasted.

Lucia wasn’t anticipating being late for the ball, in fact she thought she would be early and see all the students enter the Great Hall. All her classes had been abuzz with excitement and many of her students were excited to dress up and dance with each other, despite not being excited about the ballroom element that their heads of house had taught them.

Various students were scurrying toward the Great Hall past her as she took her time, mostly because her heels would not allow her to walk any faster than a slow trot.

A handful of her students, especially in her NEWT level classes, paused to greet her and show off their beautiful ensembles. Lucia had offered extra credit to anyone who could demonstrate transfiguration on their dresses or robes and many of her students had chosen to take her up on her offer. But perhaps the most exemplary transfiguration was Luna, who had made a dress that resembled an actual sunflower, seeds and everything.

The entrance to the Great Hall had a crowd of students around it, most of them waiting for a date to arrive or avoiding going into the hall altogether. If Lucia was a student, she would have joined them, finding the party outside of the party was usually more fun than the actual party. But as a teacher she was expected to not only attend but observe and make sure her students were on good behavior.

She squeezed past some students, waving hello as she passed and headed toward the tables near the front where the other teachers were sitting. She noted that all but Severus and McGonagall had arrived.

Lucia sat next to Aurora, noting her dress of purple and black that was covered in stars that shifted around as she moved with the occasional shooting star flowing across the skirt.

“That’s beautiful, did you charm it yourself?” Lucia asked.

“Thank you! No, Flitwick had the idea. Isn’t it lovely?” Aurora said, smoothing her hands over her skirt.

“Do you think he could charm my shoes to be more comfortable?”

Aurora leaned back and peaked at her shoes under the table. “I’m not sure Flitwick could even make those tolerable.”

Lucia laughed. “The backup plan is to transfigure them into sneakers. Do you think anyone will notice?”

“Do you care?”

Lucia pretended to think for a moment.”You know, I absolutely do not.”

Suddenly there was the sound of orchestral music from near the entrance of the Great Hall. Lucia and Aurora glanced toward the archway to see Minerva and Severus walk into the large ballroom. People were unsure if they were supposed to applaud, so instead many students nodded in greeting.

Lucia made eye contact with Severus, smiling at him as he headed toward their table. He sat down across from her, wishing there was a spot next to her but happy to be able to see her clearly across from him.

He immediately noticed her lips, the same shade of red as her dress, in stark contrast with her light olive skin. She looked beautiful, if a bit wild, but he always thought that about her.

Minerva gave a short speech, reminding the students to be on good behavior and that the punchbowl was not only being observed but it was specifically charmed to prevent students from spiking it. A few of the older students gave conspiratory glances, which Severus noticed, and Lucia glanced boredly at the bowl. She had been assigned punchbowl duty for a majority of the evening.

The feast began with very little fuss. The food seemingly appeared on each circular table and all the students and faculty began eating. Lucia ignored the turkey entirely, opting to focus almost her entire attention on the stuffing and brussel sprouts.

Aurora eyed her plate with somewhat confusion and Lucia shrugged. “Not a lot of turkey in italian food. Never got a taste for it.”

“Instead you got a taste for brussel sprouts?” Aurora commented.

“You can roast them in wine.” Lucia said offhandedly.

Aurora rolled her eyes, not at all surprised by the answer.

The feast ended and Minerva rose again to begin the dancing portion of the evening. Severus stood beside her and as a fast waltz began, he took her hand and led her to the floor, demonstrating excellent form.

Lucia rolled her eyes as Aurora rose as well, deciding to dance with Flitwick despite the height difference.

Gawain Robbards approached Lucia, ready to ask her to dance.

“Don’t even bother, my stilettos are sharp and my footwork is shabby.” Lucia said, her eyes still on Severus.

“Of course.” He said before asking Poppy to join him.

Lucia watched in silence as Severus glided across the dancefloor, resembling a bat more than usual with his robes flowing around him. She felt a sudden desire to be dancing with him, but knew it would be better if she stayed off the dance floor. Even without the heels she was a liability, with them she was a disaster.

Severus glanced at her a few times during the song, noticing her gazing at him throughout. Many students were still at their tables, waiting for The Weird Sisters to come out before they got on the dance floor.

He knew Lucia was unlikely to join in either the traditional partner dance or the degenerate gyration that he was sure would occur in a matter of minutes. For a moment he imagined her out there, her hips swaying to the music and her skirt riding up. He knew she wouldn’t, especially with a crowd of people around, but the image stuck in his head.

Lucia rose, taking her position by the punchbowl, her arms crossed and her wand in her hand. She was prepared to fend off any number of students trying to make the night more interesting, though a part of her sincerely didn’t care whether a tiny spell got through her defenses.

The song ended and Severus approached Lucia, noting her stance emphasized the curve of her hips in her red dress.

“I see that you did not abandon your post to dance.” He said.

“You know me, a consummate professional. I would never leave my duties. Especially something as important as… whatever the fuck I’m doing right now.” Lucia waved her hand dismissively.

“Preventing underage students from getting inebriated.” Severus cracked a small smile.

“I thought I was supposed to just prevent anyone from drinking anything. I was under the impression that this punchbowl was merely decorative.”

“Would you like some company?”

Lucia shrugged her shoulders and raised her eyebrows. “Only if you promise to be on your best behavior. That means no sour looks at seventh years and no snide comments.”

“That is basically a vow of silence.”

“You’re right. You wouldn’t be my Severus if you didn’t say something mean.”

“I’m hardly your Severus.” He said jokingly

Lucia’s face dropped, knowing he meant it humorously but still feeling the sting of his words. “No I suppose not.”

Severus realized what he said had hurt her in some capacity but wasn’t able to determine what he could say to help the situation. Thankfully he didn’t have to as The Weird Sisters took the stage and the crowd began yelling in excitement. Even Lucia smiled brightly as she saw Myron make his way to the mic. Everyone in the room seemed thrilled for the band to arrive, except for Severus.

He felt a hot sick twist in his gut as he watched Lucia begin singing along to the lyrics, even occasionally allowing her hips to sway in the manner he had fantasized about. It would have been alluring if it weren’t to the inspid lyrics created by the most obnoxious man he had ever encountered.

Severus for a moment began to disdain Lucia, wondering how a woman he had regarded as both smart and discerning could enjoy such idiotic music. How could someone go from Debussy to garbage? She must have been like all other women, charmed by his good looks and shaggy hair.

Lucia leaned into him. “I love his chord progressions. He borrows minors a lot which I find very refreshing compared to the typical progressions you hear in rock and pop music. And thank god it isn’t in the key of E.”

Severus thought for a moment that she had read his mind, proving her interest was more than pedestrian. He merely hmphed in response.

“I wasn’t really a fan before my manager got me a spot as their opener, but after hearing them play a lot I learned to appreciate them. I tend to like music that was made when I was at school rather than new stuff but oh well.” Lucia said. “Oh god I sound ancient. Tell me Severus, is this what it feels like to get old.”

“Weren’t you telling me I wasn’t old not too long ago?” He asked.

“Yes but that was before I started feeling like I don’t understand young people anymore. Now you have to try and make me feel better.”

“I know of at least 3 seventh year boys who have highly inappropriate crushes on you.”

Lucia looked at him with interest. “Really, have you given them detention for it?”

“For other reasons.”

“Sure you did.” Lucia said. “But thank you. I can’t say I like knowing that teenage boys find me attractive but it doesn’t make me feel like less of an artifact.”

“Quite.”

“Besides, I’m sure you have had your fair share of students with crushes.” Lucia said.

Severus snorted. “Absolutely not.”

“Really? I would have been super into you.”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah, brooding angry man in the dungeon. I would want to come down there and fix you but also be spanked by you. You know, typical teen fantasies.” She winked at him.

Severus flushed and pulled at his collar, imagining her bent over his knee.

“Of course that was just a juvenile fantasy. As I’ve gotten older they’ve gotten much more sophisticated.”

His throat began to feel dry and his pulse began racing. The image of spanking her was already too much for him. He wasn’t sure if he could handle what her more experienced adult mind could concoct.

The band paused after a set and announced that they were going to take a break. Lucia looked over at Severus. “That’s my cue. Wish me luck?” She asked.

“I hardly think you need it.” He replied.

Lucia shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want it.”

Lucia walked away, presumably to meet the band backstage. The jealousy in Severus’ stomach began bubbling up again, coming out in small outbursts when he saw someone so much as lift a wand near the punchbowl.

Minerva approached him, noting his aggressive stance. “I noticed you haven’t danced with Lucia tonight.”

“She doesn’t dance.” He replied tersely.

“I’m sure she would for you.” Minerva eyed him knowingly.

“You have taken up Albus’ role as meddling headmaster a bit too well.” Severus commented.

“It just seems as if the two of you get along very well.”

“I get along well with quite a few people.”

Minerva looked at him with sharp criticism. “I think quite a few of those people would beg to differ. Really Severus, it’s as if you prefer to be unlikable.”

Severus huffed in response.

“But it seems Lucia likes you anyway. You should be so lucky.”

Severus thought for a moment about the implications of what she was saying. “We have always been professional.”

“I hardly think anything Lucia does is particularly professional, but I understand what you are saying.” Minerva said.

Severus was about to speak when Minerva interrupted.

“But if something were ever to happen, perhaps after this dream business has been taken care of, I would only expect discretion amidst students.” Minerva said. “Besides, with Lucia not returning next year, I hardly think it will be an issue.”

Severus looked at her in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Minerva was taken aback for a moment. “I’m sorry, I was under the impression that you were aware. Yes, Lucia let me know earlier this week that she intended to resign and pursue other opportunities.”

“What opportunities.”

“I believe she mentioned something about Myron and music. I’m not entirely sure.”

Severus felt his stomach drop and the twinge that he had been feeling all night turned into a painful twist. Lucia was moving on, leaving Hogwarts and subsequentially him for Myron and presumably better opportunities.

“Of course, I am sure she will continue to keep in touch.” Minerva said, a look of concern on her face.

Before Severus could reply a large roar erupted through the crowd as Myron and Lucia came back on stage. He was holding an acoustic guitar and she was wringing her hands nervously and smiling. She caught Severus’ eyes for a moment and waved. He looked away, unable to meet her eyes. Lucia felt concerned and almost got off stage to ask him what was wrong, but stayed instead.

“Hogwarts! I am sure she needs no introduction, but this is my longtime friend and your professor, Lucia Sometimes!” Myron said into the microphone to a cheering crowd.

Lucia smiled and waved nervously.

“Besides being an excellent witch, she is a talented and beautiful singer and I’m excited to do a duet with her. Lucia, would you like to count off?”

“Sure. 1, 2, 3, 4.”

Myron began strumming and Lucia approached the shared microphone. They stood facing each other and Lucia watched him as he played before she began singing.

“Turn down the lights  
Turn down the bed  
Turn down these voices  
Inside my head  
Lay down with me  
Tell me no lies  
Just hold me close  
Don’t patronize  
Don’t patronize me.”

The two began singing together in harmony. Their eye contact became increasingly more intense as they tried to synchronize their singing.

“Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t  
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t  
Here in the dark, in these final hours  
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power  
But you won’t  
No you won’t  
Cause I can’t make you love me  
If you don’t.”

Severus felt his blood beginning to boil. It was clear to him that they were involved, far more than she let on in conversations.

“I’ll close my eyes  
And then I won’t see  
The love you don’t feel  
When you’re holding me  
Morning will come  
And I’ll do what’s right  
Give me till then  
To give up this fight  
And I will give up this fight.

Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t  
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t  
Here in the dark, in these final hours  
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power  
But you won’t  
No you won’t  
Cause I can’t make you love me  
If you don’t.”

The song ended with the two of them solemnly smiling at the audience and then hugging each other. Severus had to admit it was beautiful, but it felt like when Lily had begun dating James in seventh year. The ultimate betrayal. With a flourish of robes, Severus turned around and rushed out of the Great Hall.

Lucia saw the black of his robes exiting and immediately ran off the stage, concerned for her friend but also confused. Her heels were digging into her ankles and she was acutely aware of how tight her skirt was as she hiked it up to give her legs more mobility to walk. As she made it into the entrance hall she heard his footsteps going outside to the courtyard and she rushed after him, finally seeing him just as he was passing by the gazebo.

“What’s wrong, Severus?” Lucia called, concern and confusion clear in her voice.

Severus whipped around, moving toward her at a brisk walk. “Nothing is wrong Ms. Sometimes, I am simply done listening to the insipid whining of a man-child and his love-lorn fan.”

Lucia scoffed, finally realizing what he was feeling. “You’re jealous. You’re fucking jealous.”

“I have no reason to be jealous of that attention starved fool.”

“You know this is maybe the least attractive thing you could do, right?”

“Not as unattractive as whoring yourself out for a record deal.”

Lucia could have slapped him. “Don’t you fucking dare call me a whore or accuse me of that. What I have accomplished I have earned. Just because you have such a sad fucking life that you’re unwilling to change or move past doesn’t mean I can’t make something of mine."

“As if your life is so much better. Drinking away and wasting your talents on worthless teenagers who only pay attention to you because you’re a beautiful American.”

“You don’t get to be angry at me. You don’t fucking get to ok? Even if we were something, you still wouldn’t get to.” Lucia was nearly yelling in his face now, so annoyed that he would even think that of her. “You barely have touched me. We haven’t even kissed.”

Severus grabbed her by her arms, pulling her in and smashing his lips against hers. She was shaking in his arms, from the cold or anger he couldn’t tell. The kiss was intense, both parties desperate for more contact until Lucia broke away violently.

“Fuck you. Fuck you!” She was yelling now. “You don’t get to call me an alcoholic whore and then do that.” Her voice cracked then and tears started streaming down her face.

Severus was silently watching her as she stumbled into the gazebo, wiping tears away and smearing her makeup. He slowly followed her inside, sitting on a bench across from her wishing for her to meet his eyes. They sat in silence for a long time as Lucia’s sobs began to subside.

“He’s gay you know.” She finally said. “That’s the most idiotic part of this whole situation. He’s fucking gay.” She laughed through her tears.

“What?” Severus finally said, the implications of what she said not yet sinking in.

“Yeah he just respects me as an artist. He wants to help me get an album off the ground in the next year. I was going to tell you, but I thought it would be a bummer so I wanted to wait until after the holidays.”

She continued. “I really wanted to stay friends though and I thought maybe I could kick you in the ass to start your own potions shop. Get out of this fucking place.” Lucia gestured around them.

“And now?” He asked, afraid of the answer.

“I can’t- I can’t handle people who are jealous. It doesn’t make sense to me. You had no reason to distrust me and no reason to even be jealous in the first place. I don’t think this is good for us or you.”

“But I didn’t know-” Lucia cut him off.

“It doesn’t matter! I shouldn’t have had to tell you. I feel terrible. That was his secret to tell, not mine.” Lucia looked down at her hands, before making eye contact with Severus. “No one gets to talk to me like that, though. I’m not an object. I don’t belong to anyone.”

“I never thought you did.”

“But you want me to belong. I’m not that kind of witch. I don’t stay home at night. I won’t always tell you where I’m going. I will flirt with anyone because that’s who I am. If you can’t handle that without calling me a whore and freaking out, this is over before it even starts.”

Severus was quiet for a moment, looking at Lucia across from him. Her hair had started to come undone from her updo and was wild around her. Her eye makeup was smudged around her eyes and her lipstick was smeared. Her skirt was hiked up with the slit nearly up to her hip. But mostly he saw her face. She looked disappointed and the fire in her eyes revealed that she was struggling to cool down her anger and frustration.

“I’ve never- I haven’t wanted anyone since Lily.” Severus admitted a bit weakly.

Lucia’s face softened. “It's wonderful that you were faithful to her for so long. It’s such a wonderful trait. But the love of a jealous teenage boy is not the kind of love I’m willing to accept. I will be faithful and I will be honest but I will not limit my life because it makes someone else uncomfortable.”

Severus looked at her again, noting that the fire in her eyes he had only just noticed a moment ago had always been there, it just had never burned so bright. “I would like to try.”

Lucia looked at him as if appraising him for a moment. “I would like that too.” She said, standing up and walking toward the center of the gazebo. “But I don’t think you can.” Lucia walked away, leaving Severus gazing at the spot she had been standing, just below the mistletoe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woof!
> 
> Sorry for the delay. This is a longer chapter than normal but it needed to be so it took longer than normal. I can only really write on the weekends anymore.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> As much as I'd like their happily ever after to start right now, I think Severus has a lot to learn about what mature, adult love looks like and Lucia has got some things to work through herself. I don't think his anger, pettiness and jealousy has gone away over the years and I think he needs to work through it before they are kissy and lovey.


	18. To Celebrate Or Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucia reminisces about Christmas' past and learns she can't run from her future.

He was still making her coffee. It had been nearly a week since the ball and he was still making her coffee.

Lucia had considered the implications of this, wondering if he was trying to prove to her that he wasn’t giving up. The problem was that she was unclear on what he wasn’t giving up on. Being friends with her? Fine. Having a relationship? She wasn’t so sure.

There was more to it now than just it being an objectively bad idea. After all, it was like being given a book and having the title be ‘He Dies At The End’ and expecting to enjoy it. Just because she had the unique opportunity to possibly change the ending didn’t make the book seem more appealing, despite it’s very handsome cover.

No it was more the jealousy and childish cruelty he had when he felt threatened. If anything was unattractive to Lucia it was possessiveness.

Ryan had been characteristically unpossessive of her, accepting that she wanted something casual in the beginning with all the grace of someone who knew that she’d choose him at the end of the day. And she did. After they were in a real relationship, sharing utility bills and splitting household chores, she continued to be a free spirit. She never slept with anyone else, never even wanted to, but she did things alone, with frequency.

Near the end of their marriage Ryan had been dealing with stress at work and had stopped wanting to do things as often. He was older than her and often felt tired. Her enthusiasm for life was only so contagious after being together for years and he had stopped wanting to join her on her adventures, or misadventures. Her evenings with her then single best friend Emily had found them at bars, nightclubs and music venues. She had been uptown and downtown and to secret parties as well as large galas, all without Ryan. In secret she had loved it. She had only spent a very small portion of her adult life single, with Ryan entering it soon after she turned eighteen. Now, in retrospect, Lucia wished she had spent more nights home with him.

But Ryan had never been jealous or insecure. He had never used her past against her or insulted her, and he certainly had never called her a whore.

Severus was many things that Lucia loved, but he was also insecure and had the propensity to be cruel. A large part of her had no interest in that. Love was never unconditional, and certainly a minimum condition she required was trust and respect.

But he was still making her coffee and she was still drinking it, self respect be damned.

It was the first day of winter break and breakfast was especially quiet with only a handful of students staying. Lucia had hoped Severus would return to his home but to no avail. It seemed he insisted on being an ever present shadow on her winter break.

Had Lucia known how uncomfortable she would be, she may have made arrangements to go somewhere for the holidays. Likely not home, as then her in-laws would expect her to spend time with them.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love her in-laws. They were kind and very attentive to Lucia, especially after Ryan’s death. In fact it was her that had been terribly inconsiderate of them and their time. She hadn’t spoken to them for months after, not even arranging a funeral for Ryan or showing up for the one they had organized. They showed her compassion despite this, inviting her to their family gatherings and including her in any event. Maria, his mother, had even offered to set her up with someone after a couple years, which Lucia found to be incredibly bizarre and uncomfortable. 

Ryan looked so much like his mother. The curved nose, bright eyes and wide smile were a perfect reflection of each other. It was painful to see her smile, often with a twinge of sadness or concern behind it, and Lucia wanted to avoid that.

Similarly, Emily would be a bundle of nervous energy. She always was this time of year, knowing Lucia had no family to speak of and the anniversary of Ryan’s death on the horizon, Emily wanted to make Lucia feel loved and included in all things.

At the end of the day Lucia just felt exhausted from trying to convince people she was ok and happy. In no way could the holidays ever be anything more than a stressful and unpleasant time for her, even without the well intended preening of her friends. Emily had even gone so far as to show up at her apartment when she missed a party, sighting a stomach bug that was entirely fictionalized.

“Lucia!” The voice called from the front of the garden level apartment.

“Damnit, why did I give her a key to the gate.” Lucia muttered, putting the tub of ice cream down on the coffee table next to her glass of wine.

Lucia hobbled to the front door, her toes recently painted with muggle nail polish. She considered using a quick dry spell but had left her wand in the bedroom somewhere. In truth she hadn’t left the house in a couple days and hadn’t bothered cleaning up after herself either, leaving her wand to be just another part of the entropy that was slowly becoming her life.

The door swung open revealing a bundled up Emily, covered in faux fur and sporting bright red lipstick and gloves, a stark contrast to Lucia’s too long t-shirt with chocolate and pasta sauce stains all over it. 

“You missed the party.” Emily said, trying to be gentle.

“Yeah. Sorry I should have told you. I thought I was up for it but then I wasn’t feeling great.” Lucia said.

“You don’t have to feel bad. I just thought maybe this year would be the year.” Emily commented.

It was New Years Eve, well now New Years day, 1998, three years since Ryan had passed.

“It’s just a stomach bug.” Lucia lied.

“Yeah my ass it is.” Emily scoffed, looking around the filthy apartment and casting a few spells to clean it up a bit.

Lucia shrugged, not phased by being caught in her lie. “I thought it would be too.”

Emily went down to sit on the couch and noted the ice cream and wine next to an open picture album. “Oh my goodness your wedding. I wish I had known you then. I would have been your maid of honor.”

“No you wouldn’t have.” Lucia quipped, sitting down next to her and pulling the album into her lap. “No one was invited. You would have gotten the little elopement owl along with everyone else.”

Emily stuck her tongue out at Lucia and turned the page.

The next picture was of Lucia and Ryan in San Francisco. They were looking for a bathroom and ended up stumbling upon a partially renovated portion of a high rise with conveniently unlocked doors. Ryan had dragged Lucia in despite her worry of getting caught and insisted they get a picture together. He had grabbed her by the waist and dipped her, nearly knocking them both over in the process. The photograph captured the moment of fear and then the peels of laughter that poured from them both as they righted themselves.

“He always made you laugh so hard.”

“Like a fucking ape, or a chimpanzee if I was especially amused.”

“It was his favorite thing to do, make you laugh. Whenever he found a joke that cracked you up he’d say it over and over again.”

“You forget about his other favorite hobby: annoying me.” Lucia flipped the page again. This time it was a series of photographs they had taken in a muggle photobooth. The first was of them smiling, the second they were kissing and in the third she was flashing the camera.

“God, remember when I stopped wearing bras for a few months?” Lucia asked.

“Unfortunately I think that’s burned into my memory.”

“Ryan loved it. He’d just reach over and give a little squeeze when no one was looking.”

“When he thought no one was looking. You guys were gross.”

“Yeah we were. Gross and in love.”

“He’d want you to be gross with someone else, you know. Or at least not act like a sad sack of shit every single year around the holidays.”

Lucia sighed, knowing she was right. “I don’t- I’m not sure I want new happy memories. I like these ones.” She said, gesturing toward the book.

“Well there are happy memories happening around you that you are missing.” Emily said, pulling off her gloves and revealing a sparkling diamond in a solitaire setting on her ring finger.

“Holy shit Em.” Lucia said, grabbing her friend's hand and examining the rock. “When did this happen?”

“Over Christmas. I wanted to tell you right away but we had to tell family first. We announced it tonight at the party.” Emily said.

“Oh shit Em, I’m sorry.” Lucia said, feeling genuine regret. “He did a great job. Didn’t take any of my advice though.”

“You told him to get me a pink heart shaped ring.” Emily said, incredulously.

“Only because I knew you’d say yes regardless and the look on your face would have been priceless.”

“Yes well, he did pick correctly, no thanks to you. I did admittedly not very subtly write down a few serial numbers and the type of stone I wanted.”

“Of course you did. Also a Christmas proposal, really?”

“As if your proposal was even remotely romantic. He didn’t even have a ring.”

“Because I told him not to!”

“That doesn’t mean he should have listened to you.”

“I married him precisely because he listens to me.” Lucia said, laughing. “Listened. He listened.” Her voice dropped again and she looked back at the picture album.

Them holding hands on the front steps of their home after they had purchased it, excitedly waving some papers and a pair of keys on a ribbon at the camera. Ryan paused for a moment, looking at Lucia before pressing a kiss to her cheek which made Lucia grin even wider as her expression scrunched with delight.

“I took that picture.” Emily said.

“Yeah you did.” Lucia said, leaning into her friend and crying for the first time that evening.

Emily wrapped an arm around her allowing her furs to soak up the tears. “I miss him too. He was a good man and even better for loving you.” She said.

“He was picking me up pizza, you know. Fucking 2 am pizza run to my favorite hole in the wall when a drunk driver mowed him down.” Lucia said, her tears mingling with a tense anger. “He was a good man.”

“I know.” Emily replied.

“Pizza hasn’t tasted the same since.” Lucia said.

Emily paused for a moment before letting out a full belly laugh. Lucia cracked a smile into her friend's coat, feeling only marginally better.

Lucia had tried hard to be happy for her friend, and had even successfully been so. She had thrown a bachelorette party, served as a maid of honor at the wedding, gave a rousing speech about their nights of debauchery and mischief. She had been with Emily when she had a breakdown over the color of the runners being wrong and easily charmed them to be the correct shade of periwinkle and kissed her friends cheek as she drove off in their enchanted limo to their honeymoon.

It was at that moment that Lucia knew she needed to move away from New York, expecting a quiet holiday where she could sulk in peace.

Instead she has a warm cup of coffee in front of her and a painfully polite but quiet colleague sitting next to her at the staff table.

A handful of the staff members were still in attendance, but most of them, including Aurora, had opted to spend time with their families over the holiday break.

The staff table and student table had been combined, allowing for what was already an awkward morning to be even more so. Lucia couldn’t shovel food in fast enough, opting to take her apple and eat it as she walked back to her office.

Before she could even get up from her chair, Severus spoke up. “Professor Sometimes, I would like to request your presence in my office this morning.”

Lucia squeezed her eyes shut tightly, not willing to look at him. “Of course Professor.” She replied, snatching her apple and taking a large bite of it as she walked quickly off.

“Ten am sharp then.” He called after her.

She had never found herself to be the most adept at manipulating situations, but Lucia was well aware when others were doing it. Asking her to meet with him in front of students and McGonagall put Lucia in an uncomfortable position. It was Christmas break so she had a surplus of time and could not use that as an excuse, but she would also be perceived as being rude and disrespectful if she said no without good reason. It was a shit move and Lucia was pissed.

It was nearly 9 am, an hour before she was expected to be in the dungeons with her current least favorite dungeon bat. Plenty of time to let her annoyance turn into anger.

After alternating between banging on her piano and pacing, the clock struck 10 and Lucia had decided to not go to the dungeons at all, instead she sat in front of the fire with her feet placed on the table in front of her and chewed her nails, contemplating just how she got herself into this irritating situation to begin with. It was only when she got up to put another log on the fire that she noticed that she had failed to lock her door. Or perhaps she had and the bastard had just magicked it open.

“Professor.” She acknowledged, picking up a rather large log and unceremoniously tossing it into the fire, causing sparks to fly back toward her. She tried not to flinch as a particularly large bit of ash burnt her hand, but she must have because he immediately was in front of her, holding her hand in his with his wand over it, silently mending the burnt skin.

“You didn’t come.” He said, his face and body uncomfortable close to her

“My stomach was upset.” She lied while stepping away from him, not really caring if he believed her or not.

He didn’t. “If I knew you didn’t want to see me, I wouldn’t have asked.”

Lucia scoffed. “So you asked me in front of my students and peers, knowing I would have to say yes.”

Severus looked confused for a moment. “You thought I was trying to manipulate the situation.”

“I know what that looks like. I’m well aware of what you were attempting.”

“I was attempting to get you to talk to me, because it seems you are unable to even acknowledge me during mealtimes.”

Lucia let out a bark of laughter. “Gee, I fucking wonder why.”

“I know what I said was out of line-” Lucia cut him off.

“Save it. I don’t care.”

Severus continued. “I didn’t apologize for how I acted. Not only for saying those awful things, but also for kissing you. I lost control, something very uncharacteristic of me.”

“I would argue it’s one of your main characteristics. Everything but your clear disdain is on a very tight leash.” Lucia said.

“Yes, you’re right. I felt threatened so I lashed out.”

“You had no reason to-” This time Severus cut Lucia off.

“Not only did I not have any real cause for concern, but it was not my place. I do not own you. You are not a wild animal that I can keep in a cage.”

Lucia looked at him for a moment, unsure how to interpret his words.

“Do you usually call people whores when you want to kiss them.” Lucia asked.

“I can’t say I’ve run into these situations often, but yes, I do seem to call the people I… I care about things when I feel inadequate.” Severus said, averting his eyes.

“Yeah no shit.” Lucia said. “Look, I stand by what I said. I don’t put up with that kind of bull.”

“I know. I don’t expect you to, however I would like to try to be better.”

“I’m not in the business of fixing people.” Lucia said.

“That is not what I’m asking.” Severus said, his frustration slightly peeking through his composed demeanor.

“Then what are you asking?” Lucia’s exasperation at the situation was on the surface, every word she said dripping with annoyance.

“I’m asking for you to speak with me again, grade papers in my office and go to the Opera event with me. “ He said. “Nothing more, nothing less. Just for you to spend time with me and see that I am trying to learn what it means to- well what it means to be with a woman.”

Lucia’s guard had almost faltered at his words. She had forgotten about the Debussy show entirely, the tickets safely tucked underneath all the term papers she had still yet to grade. 

Admittedly the week of avoiding him had set her back in grading. Left to her own devices, Lucia opted to play piano or snuggle with her cat, not read the barely coherent ramblings of teenagers, darling as they were.

“Do you expect anything from me?” She finally asked.

“Only that you give me opportunities to show you that I can be better than that.”

“And if you aren’t better than that?”

“You’ll know. I’m sure the Malfoys’ party will be a testament to my ability to maintain my composure amongst the vultures.”

“You paint such a lovely portrait of your friends.”

“Narcissa and Lucius are my friends. The people they associate with are less than desirable consequences of their friendship.”

“You’re assuming I even still want to go with you.”

“Didn’t you say something about disappointing Narcissa?”

Lucia thought for a moment about the older woman who seemed kind, though a bit stuck up. She reminded Lucia very much of her mother’s side of the family. The pureblood mildly disapproving types who always wanted the best for her but she never quite reached the mark.

“It wouldn’t be my first time being a disappointment.” Lucia commented.

“Perhaps then you can decide later on, but I think Debussy would be a good start to mending what I have broken.”

“Do you often apologize?” Lucia asked.

“I don’t often find I need to.”

“Oh you need to, and very often.” Lucia scoffed. “Fine. Dinner and Debussy.”

Severus visibly relaxed, his shoulders melting back into a more natural position and she could have sworn she saw a smile at the corner of his mouth.

“Shall I see you this evening to grade papers?” He asked, eyeing the pile on her desk and the pile on her coffee table and the piles on the floor.

“Yeah sure. Whatever.” Lucia said offhandedly, taking her place at the piano.

Severus began to exit her chambers, his robes flowing around him as they so often did.

“Oh and Severus?”

He turned around to face her.

“Thanks for the coffee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well nice set up for the next few chapters and then back into the plot after the holidays. Sorry for the cruel cliff hanger. Like I said last time, I don't think Severus is well equipped for being in a relationship and neither is Lucia. She is very avoidant of her problems and that certainly will bite her in the ass.


	19. To Eat and Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucia and Severus have their first official date.

Lucia smoothed the front of her dress for the third time in a row, fighting the slight shake in her hands. She was not a nervous person. In all her life no one had ever described her as nervous. Often brash, impulsive, irreverent, but not nervous. And yet there she was, standing in front of a mirror debating if she looked like she cared but didn't care about a date that wasn't really date with a man who barely acted like a man.

"Pull it together, Sometimes." She muttered.

Her skirt was knee length, a novelty print of piano sheet music in a warm brown and orange color. The sweater she paired it with was an earthy orange, ribbed and fitted to her torso. She was thankfully it was not a formal opera, requiring her to wear a formal dress and heels. Instead she could pair her outfit with her long orange coat without concern. It was perhaps a bit more casual than she would have done if Severus wasn't on such thin ice, but as he was she didn't see the point to ravish him with some of her more glamorous cocktail dresses.

Nuit meowed at her feet, rubbing the side of her face against Lucia's boots.

"Yeah I know, I should stay home with you." Lucia said, kneeling down and picking up the feline. "I've been feeding you too much." She said, noticing the heft of the cat who was never particularly light but was now especially heavier.

"Actually, I have been giving her treats when you are not looking." Said a voice from the doorway.

Lucia turned to look at Severus. She couldn't say she was surprised. After the third time he had just appeared in her chambers she had asked if he was removing her locking charms and he explained that the doors would open for him with no resistance. The castle was meddling, as it apparently did like to do.

"I didn't mean that I-" Lucia started. "No nevermind, I did mean it. I am still not sure this is a good idea."

Severus looked disappointed for a moment before she continued.

"I'm not cancelling I just don't necessarily think I forgive you at this point." She explained.

"The goal of tonight is to prove I can be a better person than what I have shown you."

"Giving treats to my cat is a good first step."

"She is beginning to prefer me."

"That is fundamentally untrue." Lucia scoffed. "You do not have breasts. I know for a fact she loves breasts. She nurses on me nightly."

"Ahh yes, my first test. I can assure you I am not jealous of a cat enjoying your breasts."

Lucia let out a genuine laugh. "Thank god, because you will lose to her every time."

"I suppose losing to a cat would not wound my pride too deeply." Severus looked her up and down, assessing that she seemed ready for dinner. "Shall we apparate? We will have to return to my chambers."

Lucia examined herself in the mirror once more. Messy hair and all, she looked fine. A bit of regret shot through her. Severus had put a lot of effort into this evening and she was intentionally feigning indifference despite being anything but. "Yes I suppose." She said, conjuring a necklace quickly to dress up the outfit and turning to Severus.

He could read her smile: she was reluctant. He had tried to be optimistic, knowing he was skating on thin ice but the look on her face nearly made him want to cancel the entire evening. He felt that way, that is, until she reached out for his hand.

He noted that hers felt exceptionally small in his. When he had taught her to dance before he had been more focused on the proximity of her body. He hadn't noticed the callouses on her fingertips from her stringed instruments, the thin fingers bare all but the tattoo on her ring finger.

Lucia looked down at the clasped fingers between them as they walked and let out a small chuckle. "There's my olive branch. I promise not to be a bitch."

"The same fire that fuels your anger is what fuels everything I enjoy about you." He said. "Besides, I have earned your ire."

"And you got it. Now let me put out the flames."

Severus nodded, leading them into his chambers. Three apparations and a loud pop later, they had arrived in London, specifically an area called Shoreditch. Lucia noted the eclectic shops around them as well as the street art, feeling instantly reminiscent of her neighborhood in Brooklyn. It only took them a few blocks to find the tiny Italian restaurant based in the ground floor of an older brick building.

"Oh this was a bad idea." Lucia said.

Severus looked concerned for a moment, afraid she was about to cancel the date.

"I have a hard time controlling myself around pasta." Lucia clarified, cracking a smile.

"That seems like it would be a good thing." Severus said, relieved she was not intending to cut the date short and ask to head back to the castle.

"Just wait until you see me with a plate in front of me." Lucia winked.

"If this is a kind of innuendo, I am not sure how I feel about it."

"Nothing a quick scourgify can't fix." She said.

They were seated rather quickly. The waiter spoke broken English but Lucia had a working knowledge of food related Italian.

"Thank you for picking an actual authentic Italian restaurant. I can't tell you how many first dates I've been on where I get taken to a place that only serves spaghetti and lasagna." Lucia said, looking through the menu. "Not that there's anything wrong with those two things, but really. A whole country and those two dishes are the highlights?"

Severus had to push down the insecurity that statement raised in him, instead choosing to accept the compliment. "I doubt you would accept a cheap imitation of anything."

He met her eyes and she looked back at him for a moment before cracking a smile. "I don't know, I have a history with cheap imitations of wine."

"Speaking of-" Severus started.

"Nope. I'm standing by it. Not drinking."

Severus was surprised, hoping he would be able to share a bottle with her, in part because he wanted to take the edge off himself and also because he thought it might make the evening more romantic.

"Don't worry, it's not forever. Just until I get… well everything figured out." Lucia paused for a moment. "Which will probably take forever if it even happens."

The waiter approached, offering to take their drink orders. Lucia opted for a water and Severus followed suit, watching as she carefully scanned her options for food.

"What are you leaning toward?" She asked.

"It's in Italian." He replied, genuinely unsure what he was looking at.

Lucia shuffled around the table, taking a seat next to Severus and leaning in to guide him through the menu.

"Bucatini is a hollow spaghetti pasta, which they are serving with a red wine and tomato reduction, pici is like a thicker spaghetti and they are serving it with a fried pancetta, fuck that sounds good, in egg yolks-"

Lucia was about to continue when he stopped her. "That sounds adequate."

"Merlin I hope you don't describe sex like that. 'Yes dear, that was quite adequate.' Hard not to take that as an insult."

Severus flushed at the comment, quietly pleased that she was joking with him and teasing once again.

Lucia went back to her seat, once again opening her menu. "I think I will go for the pappardelle with short ribs." She closed the booklet, placing it on the table and crossing her arms in front of her. "Now I must warn you, I genuinely meant it when I said I lose control of myself around pasta. It's an intense experience, almost sexual. If you feel threatened by a gay man, I can't imagine how you're going to feel about a plate of the most divine food ever created."

Severus noticed the bite in her words and the slight jab at him. Choosing to ignore it he said "I will enjoy getting a preview of what's to come."

Lucia raised an eyebrow. "I appreciate the confidence. Very attractive."

The waiter returned, taking their order. Lucia ordered for the both of them, her Italian barely getting her through a short conversation with the waiter.

"What did you two discuss?" Severus asked.

"He asked if we were on a date."

"And what did you say?"

"I told him I was kidnapped. I think he's calling the police right now." Lucia said, her eyes not leaving her glass of water as she swirled it in front of her.

Severus laughed, something that caught him off guard. Lucia smiled warmly at him, happy to hear his deep voice envelope her.

"No he asked if I was Italian and I told him I have family in Tuscany. He's from Milan." She explained.

Severus felt a little jealous for a moment, wondering if the man was trying to flirt with her.

"He also asked if we were on a date and I did say I thought you were going to propose."

"Why on earth would you say that?"

"Because, and I say this as a Slytherin, he offered a complimentary dessert."

"Oh you are sly."

"Wouldn't like me if I wasn't."

The food came and indeed Lucia's interest in speaking with Severus dwindled significantly, instead focusing on the plate of pasta that absorbed the rich sauces of the pork. Severus's meal was similarly exemplary.

"Fuck this is good." Lucia moaned out, putting a forkful of pasta into her mouth.

"Clearly." Severus said, raising a bite of his out dish to his lips.

"I wish I could cook. I would make pasta and sauce and eat this any chance I got."

"I have been known to be a skilled cook. Perhaps I can attempt this dish for you sometime."

"With what kitchen?" Lucia asked through a mouthful of food.

"Either the Hogwarts kitchens, though there is little privacy there. I also have a home we may apparate to. I occasionally visit during the year to ensure my wards are holding. Perhaps we can go together."

"That's a bit forward for a first date."

"Apparently I'm already proposing to you."

"It's fine. If you don't I will just feign disappointment and we will still get a free dessert."

"I assume that means you don't want to see my home."

Lucia sighed, thinking she had successfully avoided the question. "I'd just like to make sure things are going well between us before… well before I get any more involved in your life. It's easy to keep my life separate. It's across the world from here. Everyone I know, everyone I love is an ocean away. It would be huge for me to even think about taking anyone to my home."

"I never said anything about meeting your friends."

"Yes well that's the next step isn't it? I've met your friends. They already think we are madly in love for Merlin's sake. My friends just think I'm experiencing the existential doom of my mid twenties and I'll get over it, move back and meet another American guy."

"Is that what you want?"

Lucia sighed, feeling the weight of the conversation steadily increasing. "No. But I don't really want anything besides happiness. Whatever that looks like." She put her fork down, no longer feeling hungry. "I've learned pretty thoroughly that plans usually find a way to crash and burn around me. Best to just not have them."

"I have never allowed myself to plan. My life was never mine to choose." Severus began. "Though a second chance is something I don't think I deserved, I have it and I want to do something better than what I have so far."

"You do deserve a second chance though." Lucia said, reaching across the table to grasp his hands.

"Then give me one." He said, looking her in the eyes.

Lucia's brow creased as she thought about what he said. "Ok. Dinner at your home."

"On Valentine's day?"

"Oh for fucks sake, please don't subject me to that holiday."

"I thought women liked Valentine's Day."

"I like the discounted chocolate on the day after Valentine's Day."

"How could anyone ever think you were anything but a Slytherin."

"You bring out the best in me."

The waiter returned and looked expectantly at Lucia. She pretended to be disappointed and the waiter nodded, taking their plates away.

"You are, what is that muggle saying, throwing me under the bus." Severus said.

"Sympathy cake. Congratulations cake. They taste the same to me." Lucia said dismissively before looking at the dessert menu that the waiter had placed in front of them.

"I suppose my opinion on which dessert holds no bearing."

"Maybe it would have if you had proposed." Lucia deadpanned, not looking up from the menu. "I'm leaning toward the Tiramisu, unless you have a strong aversion to espresso flavor."

"Indeed I do not."

The waiter returned a moment later, took their order and promptly returned with the plate and two clean forks.

"My mother in law told me this used to be considered an aphrodisiac. A weird thing for her to say but whatever." Lucia took the first bite, letting out a muffled moan.

"I take that to mean it is up to your standard."

"Absolutely. Eat some!" Lucia insisted, pushing the plate toward him. For a moment she considered forcing a fork full of the dessert in his mouth but opted instead to just verbally harass him. "I can't finish it myself."

Severus took a bite, immediately tasting the rich espresso and cocoa powder. "It's soggy." He said.

Lucia sat back, crossing her arms across her chest. "You eat British food. Most of the things you consume are boiled beyond recognition and seasoned with salt only. I hardly think you can criticize food."

Severus smirked at her, taking another bite. "I never said I didn't enjoy it."

Lucia narrowed her eyes before taking another bite and smiling at him. "Remind me to never cook for you."

"Were you planning to?"

"Not even remotely."

After they had finished dessert in the restaurant the waiter returned with their check, placing it in front of Severus. Lucia reached out to pay but Severus stopped her hand.

"I picked the restaurant so I will pay." He said.

"I insist on paying half." She said.

"No." He replied in a terse manner, grabbing some muggle money from his jacket.

"I don't let people pay for me."

"You will tonight."

"I really will not."

Severus sighed. "Lucia, allow me to make things up to you in ways that I feel comfortable."

Lucia was mid reach, grabbing for the checkbook when she retracted her hand. "Fine." The pout returned and she crossed her arms. "But next time I'm paying."

"Next time?"

"Oh shut up."

The pair left the restaurant, walking quickly to the venue. It was a renovated space, likely a former warehouse, made to look like a modern event area. The walls were stark white in contrast to the warm wood furniture and metal lighting fixtures. It was clear the event was targeted more towards musicians than music enthusiasts, as the space was advertised as an art space for artists.

Lucia and Severus sat down in the third row, patiently waiting for the event to begin. The stage, so to speak, was just a rug with a piano and a microphone with chairs set up in front of it.

"This reminds me so much of an event I used to go to every month in New York." Lucia said, leaning over toward Severus. "It was partially for networking, but also just a really amazing opportunity to hear more experimental compositions. Although there were always some duds."

"Not everyone is a prodigy like you." Severus teased.

"Oh trust me, I worked hard to be barely competent. Natural talent only gets you so far."

A woman walked through the aisles and grabbed the microphone, introducing the event. She explained that it was a monthly event where they highlighted talented musicians and encouraged collaboration and creativity. The speech ended with her encouraging those who wanted to be involved to leave their phone number and address to get information on future events or inquire about performing.

The first singer was a man, a rich baritone. Lucia leaned over and made a comment about him being "quite impressive".

Throughout all the performances Lucia would make commentary, either explaining the meaning of the piece quitely after the performance or complimenting the performance. Severus was entranced, not so much by the music in front of him, but by the clear passion Lucia held for classical music.

The final song of the evening began, a poem called "Nuit d'etoiles" set to music by Debussy.

Lucia immediately grasped Severus' hand and whispered in his ear "This song breaks my heart every damn time."

The singer began, her voice piercing above the piano accompanying her in graceful arches and crescendos. Lucia clutched her necklace, trying not to cry. She felt she had cried in front of Severus enough for an entire lifetime.

"Nuit d'étoiles,  
(Night of stars)  
Sous tes voiles,  
(Beneath your veils)  
Sous ta brise et tes parfums,  
(Beneath your breeze and your perfumes)  
Triste lyre  
(Sad lyre)  
Qui soupire,  
(Which is sighing)  
Je rêve aux amours défunts.  
(I dream of bygone loves)

La seriene Mélancolie  
(Serene Melancholy)  
Vient éclore au fond de mon cœur,  
(Comes to blooms in the depths of my heart)  
Et j'entends l'âme de ma mie  
(And I hear the sound of my beloved)  
Tressallir dans le bois rêveur.  
(Quiver in the dreaming wood)

Je revois à notre fontaine  
(At our fountain I see you again)  
Tes regards bleus comme les cieux;  
(Your gazes, blue as the heavens)  
Cette rose, c'est ton haleine,  
(This rose is your breath)  
Et ces étoiles sont tes yeux.  
(And these stars are your eyes)

Nuit d'étoiles,  
(Night of stars)  
Sous tes voiles,  
(Beneath your veils)  
Sous ta brise et tes parfums,  
(Beneath your breeze and your perfumes)  
Triste lyre  
(Sad lyre)  
Qui soupire,  
(Which is sighing)  
Je rêve aux amours défunts.  
(I dream of bygone loves)"

Severus squeezed her hand, noticing her sniffling. The song had reflected a past love, but also a hope for the future. The sentiment had always hit her as sweet, but after Ryan's death the song had taken on a new meaning.

"I'm sorry." She muttered, wiping away a rogue tear that had made it onto her cheek as they exited the building, wandering the streets of London. It was well past 11 pm. Normally at this point in the evening she would be in bed with a book, if not completely asleep.

"It was a moving performance." He replied.

"You hardly seem phased."

"I am more concerned that the evening was ruined."

Lucia let out a laugh. "No not at all. It's just a sad song, but there is a bit of hope there still."

"Perhaps it is an omen."

"We already have enough omens. Speaking of, I know you spoke with Harry regarding possession but I was hoping I could speak to him."

The mention of Potter immediately sobered Severus. "I can't imagine why you would want to speak with boy wonder. I already told you how he escaped Voldemort's possession."

"You did but I still would like to learn more about it. How it felt. What he focused on." She said.

"I hardly think he will tell you about it for no reason."

"What if I told him the truth."

"That would be very unlike you."

"I stopped drinking. Perhaps it is time to stop lying too."

Severus paused for a moment. I will have McGonagall reach out to him on your behalf. I am not inclined to owl him myself."

"Nor would I expect you too." Lucia yawned a high squeak of a yawn.

"What in Merlin's name was that."

"It's what people do when they're tired."

"It sounded like a cat's tail being stepped on."

"Oh shut up." She smacked his chest lightly. "I am tired though. Shall we apparate back?"

Severus sighed, not wanting the night to be over quite yet but conceding that he was also quite exhausted. "I suppose."

Lucia allowed Severus to wrap an arm around her as they apparated back to the castle.

Severus reluctantly let go of her waist, noting the way she tucked her hair behind her ears and glanced up at him.

"Thank you for tonight. I really enjoyed it." She said, still standing close to him.

"I am glad that I did not disappoint you."

Lucia smiled gently, reaching up and pushing a stray hair away from his face before standing on her toes and placing a kiss on the side of his mouth.

"I can't wait for next time." She said, and exited his chambers.

Severus touched the corner of his mouth where she had kissed him and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weeee a successful date. Lucia only cried once.


	20. Update

Hello all,

This is obviously not a chapter. I just wanted to update you all, especially considering that I will not be posting a chapter this week. I live in an area significantly impacted by COVID-19 and while I am fortunate enough to be young, healthy and financially stable, I am still experiencing a lot of personal distress.

On top of that I was nearly kidnapped on Saturday night. Thats not an exaggeration. I've been pretty emotionally raw and while I have been working through things creatively, it has primarily been through music.

I will be back soon, but I'm giving myself time to heal.

Stay healthy and stay safe. The world is fucking scary right now.


	21. To Give a Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucia realizes she has dropped the ball of friendship.

Being the only child of a middle to upper class family in Manhattan, Lucia had a surplus of gifts as a child. Her father, who was rather insistent on her being a quidpot player like he was, seemed to purchase her whatever age appropriate top of the line gear that was available, even after Lucia made it clear she did not enjoy the sport. Her mother on the other hand was much more interested in cultivating the characteristics Lucia was lacking, such as grace and punctuality and therefore gifted her a myriad of planners and ballet classes. Between the two of them there was never a shortage of gifts for her Christmas morning. However after they passed away it was only her and her grandmother.

Having come to age during the depression era, nonna was not very comfortable or even familiar with spending money. She would often opt to enlarge food instead of purchasing more of it, even if it left an odd aftertaste as magic often did and insisted that gifts should not cost more than a few dollars. Lucia was perfectly fond of that because it meant she got nonna’s hand me down books, all ear marked and annotated.

After Nonna passed it was her and Ryan. He knew her well enough to know she enjoyed experiences more than things and would plan extravagant days for her, often ending up somewhere near the ocean so Lucia could dart at the receding water like a child and race back to him grinning.

Emily bought her music. It was especially natural, considering they met through music. Occasionally it was a concert, or after Emily received an especially large commission even a Taylor guitar.

It always struck Lucia that all the people she was surrounded with were incredibly good gift givers but she was as tone deaf as her parents. For their third anniversary she purchased Ryan luggage “for all the trips we are going to take”. Emily had traditionally gotten a bottle of wine which she shared with Lucia and a gift certificate somewhere, and her grandparents and parents almost always got the only gift she could offer as a broke student: a song.

So when Christmas eve rolled around and she had three gifts in her quarters, Lucia could have curcio’d herself.

She had hoped that an ocean between her and Emily would curtail her friend’s desire to show affection by gifting her with something, but indeed the lavishly decorated gift with ribbons was from her dear friend across the pond. Another was from Aurora in conspicuous constellation wrapping paper, and the plain brown paper with a black ribbon was clearly from Severus, though it was unmarked. Leave it to her to be the shitty friend who hadn’t gotten anything for anyone.

It was because of this discovery that she found herself in Diagon Alley, having asked to use Severus’ floo connection and shooting him a scathing look when he inquired why she needed to go there.

He was rather confused when she bustled into his rooms unannounced in the early morning. Typically they spent their evenings together. He was about to go work on a handful of ongoing potions when she burst through the door and asked to use his floo network.

“What in Merlin’s name would require you to venture out on Christmas Eve?” He asked

“It’s none of your business.” She said haughtily, grabbing a handful of powder. “By the way, would you describe yourself as a person who would rather have a pocket watch or a wrist watch?” She hesitated before stepping into the fire.

“I hardly need a-” Severus started.

Lucia cut him off with a huff. “Never mind I will figure it out on my own.” She said, stepping into the flames and saying “Diagon Alley” in a clear tone.

It was clear that Lucia was not the only person who had put holiday shopping off to the very last minute. Though not crowded persay, there were a healthy amount of people bustling about that Lucia didn’t feel so much like she was the only irresponsible friend. She was, however, likely the only irresponsible friend to be sending a package via international floo.

The first shop that she visited was Madam Primpernelle's Beautifying Potions for Emily. She had been complaining as of late about her sore back and her need to be pampered and Lucia had read in Witch Weekly about a bath salt that would turn your home bathroom into a full spa experience, massage included. She added a bottle of Toe Turning nailpolish which apparently made high heels comfortable to wear as long as the nail polish was intact. Emily was notorious for her high heels despite already being quite tall and very pregnant.

Aurora was the next on her list and admittedly she had no idea what the witch might enjoy. She seemed very much niche in her interests and Lucia was concerned that anything she purchased relating to astronomy would be either redundant or offensively inexpensive and low quality. Lucia ended up settling on an ornately decorated hair clip that would hold and disguise her wand. She felt rather cliche purchasing that for her friend but was unsure what else to buy the witch. Aurora did often have her hair in a clip, she rationalized.

Now Severus was the real challenge. He seemed to be both a man who had few interests that were simple but would either be highly offended, disgusted, or some combination of the two, by anything that wasn’t up to his high caliber of taste.

She had considered buying him some new robes, noting that he either had one set or had numerous versions of the same attire. Somehow she thought the regimented Severus would not appreciate this gift and it would either go unused or he would just flatly reject it.

Her second idea was a new cauldron, but upon entering Potage’s Lucia realized she had no concept of the best kinds of cauldrons to purchase or even what Severus had. The salesperson was all too eager to sell her a copper cauldron, claiming it heated the potion more evenly but Lucia was suspicious of his pushy sales tactics and left the shop empty handed.

Running quickly out of ideas Lucia decided to pace the alley, wondering if a window display would perhaps spark some inspiration. It was upon approaching Twilfitt and Tatting’s that her deep concentration was ruined.

“Lucia! Darling, what a wonder to see you again here of all places.” The voice sounded from behind her.

Lucia turned around slowly, fixing her face into a smile her mother would have been very proud of. “Narcissa, how lovely to see you again.” She eyed the bags levitating around Narcissa. It was no wonder that she ran into her in Diagon Alley again. It seemed shopping was a favorite hobby of hers.

“Don’t tell me you are finishing up Christmas shopping?” Narcissa asked. She was wearing a tightfitting set of robes in brilliant red with black accents. It might have been festive if the color were more like blood than that of Jolly Saint Nick’s cheeks.

“Well I-” Lucia started.

“Or perhaps you are shopping for a dress for New Years. Twilfitt does have the best selection in London, though nothing compared to Paris. I was just there last week getting the finishing touches on my gown.” Narcissa interrupted.

“I haven’t-”

“Oh dear you haven’t gotten a dress yet? Why it’s only a week away. How will they make it in time?” Narcissa asked, aghast.

Lucia thought for a moment that the witch didn’t need to breathe the way that she kept prattling on and on about dresses. “I was planning on transfiguring a dress I already own, actually.” She said, keeping her chin high.

“Oh that’s… charming. I suppose on a professor’s salary that can only be expected.” Narcissa waved her hand. “I could get you a discount at Twilfitt though. The owner is more than happy to help a friend of mine.”

“I really don’t-” But Lucia was cut off again as Narcissa grabbed her by the arm and started to pull her into the store.

“I insist, really. Consider it my Christmas gift to you.” Lucia was struck by the generosity. “Besides, if you will be performing you need to look your best. Can’t have last seasons dress in front of the finest witches and wizards of Europe.

Lucia internally noted that though it seemed like a kind consideration, it was actually to preserve Narcissa’s reputation.

Narcissa dragged Lucia through the store, occasionally snapping at the shop girl to grab a dress and put it in the dressing room. Narcissa’s taste was… interesting. At least there were no ruffles in sight, but the amount of beads and rhinestones was getting a bit absurd.

“You know, I think I prefer something a bit more understated.” She said as Narcissa presented her a dress with a large brown bow right on the hip.

Narcissa looked visibly disappointed. “I never got to dress a daughter. Lucius was very insistent that Draco never wear anything besides black, though I did manage to get him in a few sets of green robes before he was a teenager and wanted nothing to do with me.”

Lucia wasn’t sure if Narcissa was attempting to guilt her or if this was an honest admission. She had a hard time imagining the witch pining for a child, as she seemed to be the cliche pureblood who only required an heir to pass on their noble bloodline. She wouldn’t have been surprised if the marriage between them had been arranged, considering she knew the practice was common amongst the upper echelons in Europe, especially the sacred 28. 

Instead of allowing the guilt trip work Lucia compromised. “I will try them on but I can’t guarantee I will wear any of them.”

That seemed to satisfy Narcissa as she snapped at the shop girl again, something Lucia was beginning to find rather annoying, and said that they were ready.

Lucia knew she was meant to be a surrogate daughter in this scenario, but she couldn’t help but feel like more of a doll as she parted the red velvet curtain in layers of organza, silk, chiffon and satin.

Narcissa, ever demanding, would insist she spin, her eyes fixed on Lucia’s figure.

“I’m not sure a ball gown suits you. You’re rather short.”

“I did mention that when we were walking around.”

“I thought it might counterbalance your hair.”

Lucia scoffed “I can assure you that my hair will be absolutely immaculate for the party.”

“Yes well pardon me if I don’t believe that.” Narcissa flipped her wrist dismissively.

“Pardon me mam, but I have a dress I think would be lovely on her.” The shopgirl said, revealing a gold dress. It was hard to tell what it looked like on the hanger, but the bodice had structure that looked like boning.

“I can’t sing in that.” Lucia said abruptly. “It looks like it would constrict my breathing.”

The shopgirl looked offended for a moment. “Miss, I can assure you everything at Twilfitt and Tatting’s is made to be the epitome of comfort.”

Narcissa nodded in agreement. “I believe everything is charmed to fit the body in motion.”

Lucia looked at the gown auspiciously. It did look like it would flatter her and the color was lovely.

“However the color will have to change. No gryffindor colors for the belle of Severus Snape.”

The girl turned to Lucia with an expression of immediate confusion and awe. “You are dating professor Snape?”

“Well I mean we are seeing each other.” Lucia said.

“Oh they are darling together, clearly in love. I am over the moon for them.” Narcissa gushed.

“I just- I never thought he would. He’s so…” The girl stumbled over the words.

“Stubborn, short tempered, severe, self-centered?” Lucia asked. “I suppose he can be all those things. But I can also be a right bitch so who am I to judge.”

“But he’s that way all the time.” The girl said.

Lucia sighed, knowing well the image that students must have of the intimidating professor Snape. “Perhaps around students. But he is quite kind to me and to his friends.” Lucia glanced at Narcissa.

Narcissa cleared her throat and said. “Yes well, come on then darling, try on the dress. I’m sure we can get it in silver.”

“I look dreadful in silver.” Lucia said, looking at the liquid metal of the fabric.

“Perhaps a chrome?” The shop girl said, clearly wanting to redeem herself after insulting her customer’s friend.

“Yes, that will do nicely.” Narcissa said.

The shopgirl flicked her wand and the gold fabric melted into a warm dark silver.

Lucia took the dress into the fitting room, happy to take off the pink tulle monstrosity that Narcissa had put her in before. She did have to admit the dress fit well and despite what appeared to be stiff boning, she was able to take full breaths. The dress had draped off the shoulder sleeves and a high slit that reached almost immodest levels. Her breasts were pushed up, perhaps more on display than she would typically prefer. It was certainly not what she would typically wear, but as soon as she stopped out of the fitting room Narcissa clapped in delight.

“Oh you look wonderful. I think Severus will be quite pleased.” Narcissa said. “Now tell me, do you plan on having your tattoos concealed?”

Lucia looked down at her arms, forgetting sometimes that her rebellious years were permanently inked on her body. “No I have no plan for hiding them.”

“Even the one on your hand. It is quite uncivilized looking. One might think-”

“I can think of a worse tattoo to have.” Lucia snapped, not appreciating the criticism of her wedding ring tattoo.

A light flashed behind Narcissa’s eyes and the shopgirl, knowing full well that two grown witches were in a disagreement, scurried off to the counter to try and attempt to look busy.

“How dare you.” Narcissa spat, discarding all the affectionate feelings she had for Lucia immediately. “I invited you into my home and treated you like family because of Severus and you repay me with snide remarks.”

Lucia sighed, realizing her ire was directed at a woman who had lived in a world more smaller and more restrictive than her own. “I’m sorry, I just really find this tattoo important.” Lucia said, gazing down at her left hand. “It’s my wedding ring. A reminder I have of him every day that’s physically on my body.”

Narcissa looked confused for a moment. “Did you not have a ring?”

“Never got around to it.” Lucia shrugged. “Besides, I quite like that I have this forever.”

“I can’t imagine how Severus feels-” Narcissa began but Lucia interrupted her.

“Severus and I have both experienced loss. It is thankfully not an issue.” Lucia said.

Narcissa paused for a moment, her eyes downcast. “I thought Draco had died at one point. There was no way of knowing whether he was- well whether he had survived in the castle. That dreadful battle. I can’t imagine how I would feel if…” She trailed off.

“Thankfully you will not have to imagine that. You have a healthy son and husband and I’m sure future grandchildren to look forward to.”

Narcissa grimaced. “Gods I hope so. But he’s broken off his betrothal to Pansy Parkinson. Many of the pureblood families want nothing to do with us.”

“Perhaps there will be a lovely girl that sweeps him off his feet on New Years Eve.” Lucia mused.

“If I can get him to leave his room. He’s been dreadfully cooped up since, well since everything.”

“I am sure you and Lucius are doing the best you can for him.” Lucia said, not believing the words even as they slipped past her lips.

Narcissa scoffed. “Lucius has never taken to anything as poorly as he has taken to parenting.”

Lucia could imagine that he was any number of things, but a good father was likely not one of them. Instead of voicing this opinion she stayed silent for a moment before offering up the only thing she could. “Severus can spend some time with him. I understand that he is fond of the boy.”

“As fond as he can be of anything besides a book.” Narcissa muttered.

“Of course! Books. I’m so stupid.” Lucia cried, realizing what she should get Severus. Lucia could have kissed Narcissa if the woman didn’t secretly terrify her.

“What do you mean.” Narcissa asked as Lucia retreated into the fitting room.

“I have been killing myself trying to figure out what to get the pretentious bastard all day.” Lucia explained, haphazardly pushing the dress off her body and redressing in her street clothes. “But the man is so damn… well he’s pretentious and he hates everything.” Lucia popped her head out from behind the curtains with a mad grin. “Except for books.”

Lucia pranced out into the shop, heading immediately for the exit.

“Aren’t you going to purchase the dress?” Narcissa called, a bit perplexed by the frantic exit.

“Maybe some other day. Today we are buying gifts.” Lucia said, pushing the doors open and heading into the streets of Diagon Alley once more.

Her newfound enthusiasm was quick to fade as she realized she didn’t actually know what Severus liked to read. Often he was researching with her in ancient tombs or grading papers during their evenings together. She had a difficult time recalling anything besides a muggle book named Ulysses that didn’t make very much sense at all, though she was drunk when she attempted to read it.

It wasn’t until her third time circling Flourish and Blotts that she had lost hope entirely.

“Are you looking for something in particular dear?” Asked a kindly woman who looked to be in her late 40s. She had dark skin and her hair was wrapped neatly in a scarf.

“I’m just trying to buy a fu- fun gift for a not very fun wizard.” Lucia said, catching herself as she almost swore near an especially young looking witch and her family.

“Who is this wizard? I may have an idea of their inclinations.” She replied, clasping her hands in front of her.

“Severus Snape.” Lucia said, expecting the witch to have a similar reaction to the girl at the shop.

“Oh yes, he is an avid reader. I will say I don’t know of much here that would interest him that he hasn’t already read. I am sure you are aware of his collection.”

Lucia was, as the shelves in his office loomed large every time she entered it. She cursed herself for not looking at them with more interest.

“However as of late he has been asking for more unusual titles, specifically muggle books.” The witch continued.

Lucia furrowed her brow.

“Yes his last purchase, Ulysses, was quite unique. I do not think he will enjoy it. It’s muggle nonsense.”

There were only a handful of muggle books that had ever caught Lucia’s interest over the years, almost all of them having to do with music or musicians. She wondered what Severus would be interested in if not potions.

“He was fond of The Prince by Machiavelli.” The woman commented, placing a finger on her chin thoughtfully. “I do think he enjoyed Shakespeare as well if I remember correctly, especially the play Othello.”

This might as well have been a foreign language to Lucia. “I’m sorry, I read mostly Witch Weekly Bestspellers. I don’t think that helps me at all.”

“Of course dear, my apologies. I think he would enjoy a book called Les Miserables, though I do not have it in stock. I imagine muggle London will have it in stock at any book shop though. And perhaps while you’re at it you can pick up Jane Eyre, for yourself. Professor Snape always struck me as a Mr. Rochester type.” The witch blinked at her.

Lucia nodded in understanding. “Thank you Miss…”

“Madam Villanelle. I hope you will return and let me know what you think about my suggestions.” The woman said, watching as Lucia retreated toward the door.

“Yes of course, thank you very much!” Lucia said, rushing to the streets. First she had to exchange some of her galleons for muggle currency and then she was to floo the package to Emily, something she knew she could do from just about any fireplace connected to the network. She returned to The Leaky Cauldron after a brief trip to Gringotts, noting the glass domed ceiling had been fully restored, quickly wrapped her friend’s gift and set herself on the streets of London.

It was nearly mid afternoon at this point and Lucia had skipped lunch in a mad rush to get her shopping done. There were very few things that could stop Lucia in her tracks when she had a task at hand but hunger was one of them. Lucia considered for a moment retreating into The Leaky Cauldron and ordering a steaming bowl of slop, but decided against it, eying the little cafe across the street that smelled delightfully of buttery baked goods and coffee.

In her haste to cross the street she almost didn’t notice the book shop located next door to it, one Charing Cross Books. Lucia could barely contain her smile as she breezed into the cafe, ordering a croissant, hot coffee and a quiche. She sat down at one of the handful of tables and eyed her watch. It wouldn’t be too late of a lunch to spoil her dinner. After hastily scarfing down her food and drinking her coffee, Lucia went into the bookshop and began browsing the shelves of books.

“Damn, I forgot to get the author's name.” Lucia muttered, realizing she knew near nothing about what she was looking for. Typically she was more well equipped for Christmas shopping but this year had truly gotten away from her.

Lucia approached the man behind the counter. He was as short as he was wide and wore unusually small spectacles. His coat looked worn and he was balding a bit, but was otherwise friendly looking.

“Hello.” She waved anxiously at the man.

He glanced up behind his glasses and eyed her unusual appearance. “Come from across the street have you?”

Lucia was taken aback for a moment. Muggles were not supposed to know about The Leaky Cauldron. It should be all but a broken down shop window to them. “I’m not sure-”

“All the ones who look odd like you come from across the street. Not sure why you want to wear your shower robe out into the world, certainly not to a book shop, but a pound is a pound by the way I see it.”

Lucia looked at him with increasing confusion. “I’m sorry I’m very confused.”

“Your robe dear. One would think you’d save that for a special someone.” He said, gesturing to her outfit.

She had forgotten she was wearing her wizarding robes, choosing to put them over her coat in the wintery cold of London. “Oh dear, I must have forgotten to take it off.” She says, trying her best to seem ashamed. “Now I have a question regarding some books.”

“I should hope so.” The man interrupted.

“Yes well, I need two books. Les Miserables and Jane Eyre. Do you carry them?” Lucia asked.

The man scoffed as if offended she would imply that he didn’t. “Of course we carry them. We wouldn’t bloody well be a book shop if we didn’t. Now follow me and I’ll help you find them.”

He guided her to a section of the shop that had a large sign above it that read ‘Classics’ in curling script.

“Now I can’t say I have ever had much love for Ms. Bronte myself,” He said, pulling a book from the shelves and handing it to her. “She wrote a bit too much like a woman possessed for my taste. Some say she and her sisters were witches.”

Lucia doubted it or else she would have heard of this book but kept her mouth shut and nodded, realizing the man liked the sound of his voice a bit too much for someone running a bookstore.

He approached the next shelf and grasped the second novel, this one much thicker than the last.

“Merlin’s name that book is huge!” Lucia exclaimed, taking the book in her arms as she could not easily hold it.

“Big fan of Arthurian legends?” The shopkeeper asked.

“Err, yes, something like that.” Lucia mumbled. “Thank you. I think I’m ready to pay.”

The man took her money gladly, after all a pound is a pound even if it comes from a witch and Lucia sighed in relief. Her shopping was done and she could return to the castle, hopefully with a gift that Severus would appreciate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive! This story is not abandoned.
> 
> Thank you all for the kind words. I have been coping better this week.  
> I have struggled and continue to struggled with depression and a panic disorder that makes life really hard to live sometimes. It's been a difficult few weeks but I'm back on medication and hopefully when this is all over and life resumes as usual I will also be back to usual.
> 
> These past few weeks have not been entirely lost. I've read a lot of books (about one a day, it's truly becoming a problem) and I've managed to self produce a few songs. I just have not been writing and for that I am sorry. Hopefully we will be back on a normal schedule soon.
> 
> Thank you for understanding. Covid-19 is one thing, being quarantined is one thing, being nearly kidnapped is one thing, but all of them together caused me to need to take a mental break from anything that was too taxing, partially because I couldn't trust that I would produce anything worth keeping and partially because I just needed my brain to be doing things I had no emotional attachment to the end result of.


	22. To Fall Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus finds a surprise on Christmas morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! This fic is probably just around 10-15 chapters away from ending which sounds like a lot but in my mind it’s almost done what the fuck.
> 
> With that in mind I have two fics in mind  
> A Sirius OC fic that takes place in the same universe post war or a Charlie OC fic that is pre war through the war.
> 
> I also wouldn’t hate doing a Draco OC fic I just don’t have any great ideas for that. Let me know what you’d be interested in reading!

Severus had never been overly fond of Christmas. His childhood had not been full of warm hearths, plentiful gifts and affectionate parents like many of his peers, nor had his adulthood. If anything the holiday had faded into the background. If a colleague or friend had ever attempted to give him a gift they had quickly learned his disinterest in the practice and lack of appropriate thankfulness. Truly Christmas was and always would be just another reminder of the joy and happiness that his life had lacked. At least so he thought until this year.

Narcissa had written Severus a rather passive aggressive letter earlier in the month outlining the expectations when courting a pure blood witch. It didn’t seem to matter to her that Lucia was neither of entirely pure blood or actually interested in being courted in a traditional manner. Narcissa did list off a few recommendations for gifts in the letter than Severus had considered. Jewelry was, of course, at the top of the list.

Severus sifted through his mind, trying to remember if Lucia wore jewelry and when. She had worn a necklace on their date, but he had noted that she was adjusting it constantly and removed it at some point in the night. She wore small stud earrings with what looked like rubies every day and didn’t change them. He noted she did have a second piercing in her ear but had never seen her wear anything in them. The fact that he had paid that close attention to her ears did not entirely settle well with him. He was paying too much attention to this woman. As for bracelets or rings, she seemed to own neither. Save for a small nose stud that he occasionally noticed was switched out for a ring, Lucia went unadorned.

In fact, after reviewing the list of suggestions, there were very few things on it Severus could imagine Lucia enjoying. She was almost exclusively interested in music, though he was happy to discover she also enjoyed reading.

He was actually quite proud of the gift he had settled on. It was something she did not, to his knowledge, possess and would hopefully be impressive and meaningful. Developing it had been no small task and he wondered if she had guessed it when she noticed the books on theoretical legilimens as well as musical charms on his desk.

If she had guessed, she hadn’t revealed anything and even seemed displeased when he asked her if the gift had arrived in her chambers. Perhaps she had not been expecting to exchange gifts. Either way, it was Christmas morning and Severus couldn’t help the mild feeling of anticipation bordering on excitement he had as he left his chambers for breakfast.

The dungeons were especially dark and quiet around the holidays. It seemed a waste to light the dark crevices when there were so few students in attendance. Even Severus had to admit the still darkness was a bit disconcerting, especially in the gloomy early mornings when the light was too weak to penetrate the black lake. The light increased as he approached the grand staircase, illuminating the stairwell in a grim light as it began to shift and raise off the ground.

“Blasted stairs,” Severus muttered, raising his wand to summon the stairs back when he noticed a figure dressed in white laying on the floor, partially hidden in the shadow of the steps.

A student must have decided to drink on Christmas Eve, he decided. It wasn’t often that they were stupid enough to pass out in the hallway but it was not the first time. He considered leaving them, hoping another student would find them and save Severus the trouble of helping and ultimately punishing the student. Detentions, though never fun, had lost the twisted satisfying feeling that they had held for so many years. Perhaps it was because Lucia always scowled at him when she thought he was being a, in her words, ‘spoil sport.’ It was actually the image of Lucia scolding him for letting a student be passed out in the hallway that caused Severus to approach the figure.

It wasn’t until he cast a lumos charm and got a better view that he realized it was not a student.

“Lucia!” He rushed to her side, dropping to his knees to examine her.

Lucia’s eyes were closed, the dark circles underneath them made even more obvious by the harsh shadows cast by his wand. Her hair was disheveled and there looked to be blood seeping out from underneath her head, soaking her curls in a dark red. She was laying on her side and her arm and shoulder underneath her looked to be at an odd angle. Her chest was rising and falling slowly, but she didn’t respond when he called her name.

Severus knew better than to move her. It looked as if she had maybe fallen and he didn’t know how extensive the injuries were. Instead he called out for the house elf Sippy.

The elf appeared in front of him, her cheerful smile quickly turning to concern as she glanced down at Lucia.

“Sippy, I need you to get Pomfrey down here immediately.” He said, perhaps more harshly than he intended. Sippy was the only house elf who wasn’t frightened of him and he didn’t want to ruin that.

“Of-of course sir. Right away.” She said, her wide eyes on the still form of Lucia as she disappeared with a pop.

“Lucia, Lucia wake up.” Severus said, trying to gently lift her head and inspect where the blood was coming from.

There was a large knot on the left side of her skull that indeed was leaking blood all over the dungeon floor.

Severus swore to himself, casting a quick charm to clot the blood. Madam Pomfrey would do a much better job but at least he could stop the bleeding.

His eyes began trailing down the rest of her body. The nightgown she was wearing was loose and hid her figure, not allowing him to properly inspect her without removing it. He began to lift it from her legs when he realized it was not just any nightgown. It was the nightgown. The one from her dreams. The one she had asked him to inspect.

A thought flitted across his mind that perhaps he should move away from her. Though she looked like his Lucia, there was still a murderously powerful being that may be lurking behind her pretty face. Gods she looked pale. As much as his instincts told him to preserve his own safety, the fragile state of her insisted he stay at her side.

Pomfrey appeared soon after, exclaiming in shock as she looked down at Lucia’s form. She quickly pulled out her wand and began assessing the damage, muttering under her breath about the moving staircases and how there’s at least one accident every year.

The trip up to the Hospital Wing seemed to take years as he watched Lucia’s seemingly lifeless body float ahead of him. Pomfrey had quickly reset her shoulder which had been dislocated and mended her broken arm. Her collarbone was shattered as well and that required a potion, but besides a concussion that she didn’t yet know the scope of, Pomfrey assured Severus that Lucia was safe to move.

Severus could have cried with joy when she said that Lucia would likely have a full recovery, though not for a few days. Her shattered collarbone would need to be mended using the skele grow potion rather than a spell and her concussion would need to be treated with care and supervision, both of which Severus was quick to volunteer.

“What a dreadful Christmas gift.” Pomfrey said absentmindedly as she lifted Lucia’s unconscious head to sit more comfortably in bed. “A bad fall and a concussion. Poor dear.”

Severus was silent, standing next to the bed and looking down at Lucia. Pomfrey had mended the wound on the back of Lucia’s head and cleaned her up a bit, but her hair was still wild and her face still hauntingly pale.

“I can let you know when she wakes up.” Pomfrey offered.

“No. I will stay.” Severus said resolutely. The urge to reach out for Lucia’s hand was overwhelming but he wouldn’t dare while Pomfrey was still nearby.

“Now Severus, that’s no way to spend Christmas.” She tutted.

“I said I would stay.” He snapped, not taking his eyes off Lucia.

“Alright, if you say so.” Pomfrey lifted her hands in defeat. “Though I can’t imagine she will wake up anytime soon. Skele Grow can be quite unpleasant so I gave her a few drops of a sleeping potion, hoping to save her from the worst of it.”

Severus sat next to Lucia’s bed for hours. McGonagall had visited, offering to bring him a book while he waited for her to wake up. He had dismissed her quickly, not wanting to be distracted in case her condition worsened. Or she woke up and was not his Lucia.

She had always been pale. The golden olive tone of her skin was light. She joked occasionally about being a shut in and never being outside long enough to tan. Even still, she looked especially pale despite the bright white of the bedding.

It wasn’t until late in the evening when she stirred. Severus tensed in his seat, his grip on his wand tightening.

“Merlin’s sagging beard. Fuck me.” She muttered under her breath.

Severus let out a sigh. This was his Lucia. A medieval era phantom wouldn’t swear quite as colorfully.

“Why do I feel like I tried to get intimate with the whomping willow?” She asked, cupping the back of her skull. Her eyes gazed around the Hospital Wing with confusion before landing on Severus. She looked tired but he was relieved to see she was awake.

“You may have fared better if you did.” Severus said, trying to keep his expression composed.

“Seriously, what the fuck happened?”

“I was rather hoping you might have an idea.”

“The last thing I remember is eating a very large portion of cake that I smuggled into my chambers and then falling asleep.” She said, her brows still furrowed.

This information did not surprise Severus. He didn’t expect her to remember being possessed, if that was indeed the case.

“Do you have a history of sleepwalking at all?” Severus asked.

“No I sleep like the dead. Which is very fitting considering the dead are the subjects of most of my dreams.”

“What did you dream about last night?”

“Nothing.” Lucia replied. That wasn’t unusual. If she wasn’t seeing someone’s death, she usually had a blissfully dreamless sleep. “What the hell happened, Severus?” She asked, her frustration growing.

“You were found on the floor of the dungeons with a few broken bones and concussion. Madam Pomfrey suspects you fell from at least the ground floor, possibly the first.” Severus said, watching her face carefully for recognition.

“I don’t- I don’t remember heading down to the dungeons or waking up. Perhaps it’s the concussion?” She tried to rationalize.

Severus paused for a moment, considering sharing the last piece of information. She didn’t remember and perhaps that was for the best. Before he could decide one way or another Madam Pomfrey rushed in.

“Oh dear, I’m glad you’ve woken up.” Poppy said, rushing to Lucia’s side. “Shame on you Severus for not getting me right away.”

Severus rolled his eyes at the scolding. She had treated him in the hospital wing many times as a student, as well as in the last few years as he spied for Dumbledore. He was used to her scolding.

“Tell me dear, how are you feeling?” She asked Lucia.

“My head hurts and I’m tired but I’m otherwise fine. Although my right shoulder is quite stiff now that I think about it.” Lucia said, rolling her shoulder with a grimace.

“Yes well a shattered collarbone and dislocated shoulder will do that. You’re lucky it wasn’t worse.” Poppy said, pulling out her wand to cast some quick spells to examine Lucia. “As for your head, nothing a bit of chocolate won’t fix.”

Lucia seemed to perk up a bit with the mention of chocolate.

“I do have to check your concussion dear. The mind is a very fragile thing.” Poppy said. “Tell me, what is the name of this castle?”  
“Hogwarts?” Lucia said, her expression giving away the fact that she thought the fanfare was a bit ridiculous.

“Indeed, and where in the castle are we?”

“The Hospital Wing.”

Pomfrey lifted her left hand and displayed 3 fingers. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Three. Honestly I’m fine. Please just give me some chocolate and I’ll be on my merry way.” Lucia said, snapping a bit in irritation.

Poppy sighed. “Of course. Though I was hoping I could convince you to stay until your collarbone had fully healed. Promise me you won’t do anything strenuous for the next few hours.” She shot Severus a pointed look. “Like… dancing.”

“Oh I can assure you there will be no dancing.” Lucia said dismissively.

“Until New Years.” Severus corrected.

“I think it’s probably best I don’t exacerbate my shoulder.” Lucia pretended to pout.

“You’ll be fine by tomorrow.” Poppy corrected, reaching under the bed and retrieving some folded up white fabric. “Your nightgown from last night. I took the liberty of cleaning it. There was a bit of blood on the collar.”

Severus stiffened and looked over at Lucia. She was looking at the folded nightgown with an unreadable expression, though he thought he saw fear flicker behind her eyes. “Thank you.” she said stiffly, grasping the fabric to her chest as she rose from the bed. She was wearing a different set of pajamas retrieved by the house elves. They were a pale pastel orange pair of pants with a loose fitting camisole. As she rose he could see the slightly swollen flesh of her collarbone and shoulder. But what he noticed most was the slight tremble of her hands and the sway in her stance as she found her feet.

“I can escort you to your rooms.” Severus offered, reaching out to grasp her uninjured arm.

“No!” Lucia snapped, then a bit more gently. “No, I can find my own way, thank you.”

Pomfrey summoned a set of robes for Lucia to wrap around herself and a pair of shoes, letting her know not to hesitate to call for her if she starts feeling faint or anything begins aching.”

“I will, thank you Madam Pomfrey.” Lucia said, she shot Severus a look of warning as she left which he promptly ignored.

She was already halfway down the hall when he caught up with her.

“You shouldn’t be walking so fast. You’re still weak.” He said, his hand on her uninjured wrist.

“When were you going to tell me about the nightgown Severus.” Lucia snapped, whipping around.

“I wanted to make sure there was no other explanation.” He said, a bit shocked by her anger toward him.

“Don’t you think you should have led with it? It seems kinda, oh gee I don’t fucking know, really god damn important.” She huffed.

“Not more important than your health.” He answered.

“I’m fine. I’m walking. I can move my arms.” She waved them frantically. “And I’m still just as stupid as I was before the concussion.”

“You’re hardly stupid.”

“Seems like I am, considering I’m involved with someone that I apparently tried to murder in my sleep last night.”

“We don’t know if that’s what happened.”

“I’m sure I just changed clothes in my sleep and went on a nice walk in the dead of night to the dungeons for no reason at all. And in that nightgown of all things.”

“I didn’t want to alarm you.” Severus sighed, seeing quickly that he was both right and wrong to not share the fact that she was in the nightgown with her.

“Well, the mission failed. I’m very alarmed.” Lucia huffed. “At least that dream bitch is a clutz.”

“Perhaps.” Severus said.

“What do you mean?”

“It could have been that she was trying to kill me and failed.” He paused for a moment. “It could have also been a warning. That she can hurt you too-”

Lucia cut him off “If I keep looking into this.”

“Precisely.”

“That means we might be getting close to something.”

“What have you been looking into.”

“Possessions mostly. There are a few ways to prevent it. The most promising way seems to be occlumency.”

A smile threatened to spread across Severus’ thin line of a mouth.

“What?” She asked.

“You happen to be speaking to an accomplished occlumens.” He said, his brow raising in a proud sneer.

“Of course you fucking are.” Lucia said. Biting her fingernail nervously.

“I can teach you whatever you need to know.”

“I’m not sure I like the idea of you digging around in my mind.”

“It’s either me or a vengeful spirit.”

“Well when you put it that way.” She conceded. “Soon. We will work on it soon. I’m tired.”

Severus nodded in understanding. She began heading toward her chambers when he called out to her. “Lucia, I never want to see you like that again.”

Lucia could have laughed. Of course he’s more concerned for her right now than the fact that the ghost had successfully possessed her the night before. “I’ll try my hardest not to fall off any stairwells in my sleep.”

Severus just looked at her as if trying to parse her emotions. “Happy Christmas, Lucia.”

She had forgotten the holiday entirely. “Merry Christmas.” She replied and turned back to her doors.

Her rooms were quiet, though the wardrobe was wide open and a few garments had been strewn about. 

“Fucking ghost left a mess.” Lucia muttered, picking up her clothes and hanging them up again before turning to the fireplace. The gifts were still in front of the hearth, though a large box had appeared as well wrapped in lavish silver paper with green trimming.

Lucia gazed down at Nuit as the cat weaved in and out from between her legs. “Suppose I have some gifts to open then.” She said with a sigh.

She picked up the large box first, taking a look at the tag on the side. Narcissa. She should have guessed. The box was light despite its size and Lucia suspected she knew what it was. Her suspicions were concerned as she unfolded the gown from the day before, all chrome and beautiful in the gauzy tissue paper.  
The note accompanying it read ‘Dearest Lucia,  
I trust that you have had a wonderful Christmas and that Severus has given you a gift suitable for a woman of your breeding.’

Lucia scoffed. Her breeding was a bunch of mouthy Italians, witches be damned.

‘Though I am sure you have many serviceable gowns, please consider this as payment for your much anticipated performance at our New Years gathering. I trust you will find acceptable shoes and style your hair appropriately. Happy Christmas.”

Lucia could have laughed if she weren’t so tired. Leave it to Narcissa to turn a gift into a lecture on appearance.

The dress was beautiful, and admittedly she was pleased to have something new to wear. It had been a few years since she had spent very much money on herself.

The next box was from Emily. Her friend had sent her a strange instrument called an autoharp. In her note she explained that it was a muggle instrument and that, when strummed, it would play whatever chord was pressed down. Lucia tested it a bit, delighted by the ease of the instrument.

Aurora gave her a planner, something which Lucia had no plans to use, as well as a note wishing her a happy holiday and good new year.

The last box was from Severus. She was most nervous to open that one. If her suspicions were correct, and they usually were, he would also be a much better gift giver than Lucia.

Simply but neatly wrapped, the package was about the size and weight of a quaffle, perhaps a bit heavier. Lucia was tempted to shake it but thought better of it, choosing instead to slowly unwrap it.

Inside was a wooden jewelry box with a latch. It was rather simple, the dark wood nicely polished with a beautiful grain and a small silver latch. Perhaps he thought she had an extensive jewelry collection, which was absurdly inaccurate.

Inside the box was a series of metal cogs and what looked like little notches. The mechanism was entirely unfamiliar with her.

Lucia turned the box around noticing a small opening in the back to fit a key. Underneath the box was an envelope, which Lucia originally planned to read after examining the gift more thoroughly but the closer she looked the less she knew what the strange box was.

Lucia opened the envelope gingerly, unfolding the note inside.

‘Lucia,  
When I was growing up I had a friend who had a box very much like this. It is what muggles call a music box. When it’s wound up a song will play as long as the box is open. I have charmed this music box to play whatever song suits your emotions and mood. I hope to share many songs with you in the future.  
Severus’

Lucia examined the bottom of the envelope, finding the small key. She placed it inside the lock and wound it a few times before opening the box.

A soft melody began to play as the cogs began to turn inside and Lucia immediately recognized the melody. She couldn’t help the soft smile that floated across her face as she began to sing along.

“Wise men say,  
Only fools rush in.  
But I can’t help  
Falling in love with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this. I rewrote this chapter a couple times because I wasn't happy with it and then I got really depressed and then I rewrote it again.
> 
> Next chapter is new years. This is the point in the game where the story earns it's explicit rating.
> 
> If you do not like or want to read explicit scenes of a sexual nature I will make sure to annotate when they begin and end. This is not going to be a super smutty story but sex will be included from this point forward as the plot permits.


	23. To Reconsider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus is approached with two offers he has difficulty refusing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I lied. No sexual content in this chapter. This ended up getting a lot longer than I thought it would be and when I wrote it out it made more sense to split this into two parts. The first part being from Severus' perspective, and the second from Lucia's. There won't be any overlap on events, but I just wanted to get this bit out earlier since the tone of the chapter changes significantly.

“Ouch.” Lucia said halfheartedly as Severus attempted to pull her onto the dancefloor. “My shoulder.” She stuck out her bottom lip in a pout that may have seemed innocent if her eyes weren’t flickering with mirth.

“Your shoulder is perfectly healed. Even Madam Pomfrey said you would be fine.” He replied, raising an eyebrow at her poor attempt at evasion.

“It’s still swollen.” Lucia complained.

“I happen to have an excellent view of your shoulder and it has never looked better.” Severus said. In fact he had quite a good view of most of her.

When Lucia arrived in his chambers earlier that evening and took off her cloak to reveal her dress he had been momentarily unable to say anything. Or if he did say anything, he couldn’t quite remember exactly what he said.

He hadn’t known Lucia to dress particularly provocatively. Even her dress for the Yule Ball had shown only a bit of cleavage and leg. This dress was an entirely different matter. The metallic fabric of the bust made it look like her breasts were being displayed on a chrome platter. The entirety of her right leg up to her hip was exposed by a long slit, with the rest of the fabric gathered around her hip and then flowing back into a small train. The bodice was fitted tight, showing off her narrow waist and the curve of her hips. He was quite pleased that this was his date.

Severus was so enamored that he almost didn’t even notice her hair was straight, pulled back in a sleek bun. He wondered how long that had taken her considering she was not at breakfast that morning and when he had knocked on her door earlier she had yelled something along the lines of “Unless you have a razor and a wig you’re wasting my fucking time.”

“It’s a lot, isn’t it.” She muttered, trying to pull the slit closed. Her smile was nervous and he noticed the red lipstick he liked so much had been replaced by a soft pink.

“Only if you don’t intend on being the most beautiful woman there.” Severus said. He only realized how cheesy the remark was after he had said it.

“Oh I am sure Narcissa will have that crown already placed on her immaculate blonde head. I have no desire to steal her crown.” Lucia laughed, waving a hand flippantly.

It was only after they had arrived at the celebration that he realized having an attractive and extremely exposed woman as his date wasn’t entirely a good thing. It seemed like every single member of the ministry had tried to have a conversation with her while they were being served cocktails and appetizers. Severus had taken to wrapping an arm around her waist, something he hadn’t done in front of anyone before, just to ward them off.

In fact Lucia and Severus hadn’t done much of anything physical. She had been injured and tired for the few days after Christmas and then preoccupied with rehearsal. He had offered company while she practiced but she quickly rejected that idea, claiming he would be a distraction. Severus thought that was entirely the point but gave up, happy to see her for an hour or two in the evening where she occasionally leaned up against him as they read or would grab his leg absently when they were talking. He had considered kissing her of course but the catastrophic smashing of faces that was their first kiss had made him feel like he needed to make the second kiss exponentially better. And what was better than a midnight kiss?

Severus wasn’t quite sure how sentimental Lucia was about those kinds of things. Her opinion on valentines day indicated a possible indifference to all romantic traditions, but surely there would be one or two she had appreciation for.

Now in the ballroom of the Malfoy manor, Severus dreaded kissing Lucia in front of all these people. The romance of the moment seemed to dissipate more and more each time a leering man approached her and inquired about her relationship with the Malfoy family.

At some point in the night Lucia had taken it upon herself to wrap her hand around Severus’ arm permanently, leaning closer every time someone approached.

“It’s like they can’t tell we are a couple.” Lucia scoffed, taking a bite out of the cheese stuffed pastry that was being passed around before quickly summoning another one from the waiter’s tray.

Severus glanced down at his attire. It was the same set of robes, though they were his least worn out pair. He had tried to wash his hair and even pulled it away from his face with a tie, something Lucia had immediately complimented. But he knew he didn’t look quite the part that Lucia did. Despite her tattoos, she looked like she belonged in a world of opulence where beauty was valued and appreciated. She was beautiful. He was… well he was Severus.

“Most people assumed I would be a bachelor for my blissfully short life. I think they are confused that I’m neither dead nor alone.” Severus shot her a smile. “Also I did hear Wilkie Twycross say something about me possibly paying you to be my date.”

Lucia frowned at that information. “You couldn’t afford me on a professor’s salary. He should know that.”

The joke was lighthearted but he could tell she was still displeased by the way she squeezed his arm and looked around a bit.

“Are you quite sure you don’t want to dance?” Severus asked for what felt like the tenth time that night.

Lucia sighed. “I’m sure I don’t want to, but I will if you insist.” She said. “Besides I had to beg Flitwick to charm my heels.” She opened up the slit and lifted her heel off the ground to show off the muted gold stilettos. “I can’t help if my upper body looks like shit, but at least my feet will be doing the right thing.”

Severus hardly thought anyone would be looking at her posture with her breasts on display in the way they were but kept his comment to himself.

They waited until a slower waltz came on before walking onto the ballroom floor.

“Chin up, shoulders back no gooseneck.” Severus whispered to her as they clasped hands. “And stop pulling on my robes.”

“Sorry” She grimaced, relaxing her grip and trying to prevent herself from being a further embarrassment.

Lucia spent a majority of the dance with an expression that combined fear and anxiety with intense concentration. When Severus muttered in her ear that he was going to spin her, the only reply she could muster was a quiet squeak as he twirled her in front of him, the train of her gown flowing around her like an ocean of chrome.

When the song ended he asked if she would like to dance again and she quickly rejected that idea, nearly dragging him off the dance floor and back into the crowd.

Narcissa had greeted them earlier in the evening. She was sporting a sparkling black gown with silver trims that did indeed put even Lucia’s gown to shame.

“If it isn’t my favorite couple.” Narcissa greeted, her hands clasped in front of her.

Lucius merely nodded in acknowledgement before his eyes began to wander the ballroom as people began to arrive.

“Hello Narcissa, Lucius.” Severus greeted them both with his hands clasped behind his back.

“Hi.” Lucia said nervously, flashing a smile. She never quite got used to these social functions, even less so without a drink in her hand. “Thank you again for the dress.” She added, resting her hands on her stomach. Lucia had sent a thank you owl the day after Christmas but felt like she needed to thank her in person as the dress was incredibly beautiful and likely expensive, though what would constitute expensive to people like the Malfoy’s was a mystery to Lucia.

“Of course darling. Now we really must greet the rest of our guests, but perhaps we will chat later, after your performance that is?” Narcissa said, grasping Lucius’ arm and smiling sweetly at the other couple.

Lucia was due to sing at around eleven pm. By the time they exited the dance floor it was nearly ten thirty and she excused herself to go prepare.

Severus quietly retreated to the back corner of the ballroom where he spotted Draco and Blaise Zabini, two of his former students. He had been meaning to have a conversation with Draco for a matter of months it seemed like but could never catch him outside his rooms. He had become a bit of a recluse after the war.

His long blonde hair which was normally slicked back neatly was a mess around his face, looking nearly stringy with all the grease that he had put into it. A glass of what looked like hard liquor, possibly ogdens old, was clutched in his hand as he sneered out at the people.

“Hello Draco, Blaise.” He offered up.

“Hello Snape.” Blaise replied, looking every bit the haughty slytherin that Severus remembered him to be.

“You may be out of school but I will still be addressed as professor.” Severus drawled, allowing a heavy dose of acidity to trickle into his tone.

Blaise started for a moment, ready to argue before he stood down. Snape was, after all, a far more accomplished wizard than he was.

Draco was a bit less respectful. “Who was the slut you arrived with.” The sneer seemed to be a permanent addition, Severus mused. He really should have tried to meet with Draco sooner.

“That, you insufferable boy, is Lucia Sometimes, transfiguration professor and my date. I trust you will not make the mistake of insulting her again.” Severus spit.

“I’ve heard that name. Your mum told my mum that she’s some distant cousin of mine. American witch.” Blaise said, trying to lighten the mood.

“Indeed, Narcissa is quite fond of Lucia.” Severus added, looking pointedly at Draco. “I’m sure she would be disappointed if she knew anyone was treating her like less than she deserves.”

Severus knew Draco was secretly a bit of a mommy’s boy. If anything could get his behavior in line it would be the threat of his mother’s disappointment.

Draco let out a huff, taking another large gulp from his glass and rubbing a hand through his hair.

“Sna-Err I mean Professor, we’ve been meaning to ask you something.” Blaise said once realizing his friend was not going to apologize.

Severus looked at him blankly before he continued.

“Draco has been having a hell of the time leaving the house. Everything he does is being scrutinized and documented by The Daily Profit.” Blaise offered up. 

“If he thinks I will sympathize with him then he forgets I am in the exact same situation.” Severus replied, unimpressed with the conversation so far.

“Of course. Well we were thinking that we could brew some Polyjuice potion and he could pretend to be me when he needs to get out of the house. You know, go to Diagon Alley, maybe ride his broom around, go into London.”

Draco looked over at Severus with mild trepidation. He hadn’t told his parents about this idea and nor did he intend to. They would tell him he should be proud of his family and his name.

Severus looked at them thoughtfully for a moment, considering the situation. Normally he did not like providing potions such as the polyjuice potion. Very rarely did people use it for anything besides mischief. But the drawn look behind Draco’s eyes and his palore made Severus think that perhaps this would be beneficial for the boy.

If Severus ever thought he would have children, that time had long passed. Besides when three hundred sniveling teens and preteens were his responsibility, why would he want one more? But Draco had always been a bit more than just a student to him. He was the child of some of his most loyal friends, at least as close to ‘loyal’ and ‘friends’ as the Malfoys and Severus were capable of, respectively.

“Fine. Though I expect I will hear of no funny business occuring because of either of you.” Severus snapped.

“Of course sir.” Blaise said, grinning at his friend.

Snape began wandering away when he overheard Blaise mutter “See, I told you he’d be easier to convince now that he’s getting laid.”

Before Severus could turn around and lecture the boys, a swell of orchestral music rose above the din of conversation. The lighting dimmed, save for the orchestra and the lone figure standing in front of it.

Lucia looked serious and composed as she clasped her hands in front of her. The music behind her played a dramatic melody before fading out as she began to sing.

The language was French, or so Severus thought. He didn’t pretend to be an expert on languages but based on his knowledge, it sounded like french. It took him a moment to notice that there was a scrolling of words above her head translating it to English. The letters seemed to appear from mid air, rolling out like ribbon above her.

“Ah, cruel one.  
You understood me too well.  
The gods bear witness to me.  
These gods who in my side  
Kindled the flame that is fatal  
To all my blood.

I languished.  
I died amid tears.  
I withered.  
I despaired before the fires of your charms.  
Oh, such anguish your eyes  
Inflicted upon my entire soul.  
Ah, cruel one!

Tell me how I may expiate  
A sin so profound,  
Always renewed;  
I can resist no longer.  
Oh, Gods, deliver me!  
This fatal flame  
Illumines my death!

Behold my heart!  
Behold my heart!  
Here is where your hand must strike.  
Behold my heart. Strike.  
Ready your sword. Strike!”

Lucia’s brow was furrowed as she finished out the song, a tight smile appearing across her lips as she finished the melody. There was a roar of applause. Severus could not blame them. She sang with conviction and precision, her practice clearly paying off. When she hit the high note at the end of the aria, he could feel the air still around him as the crowd took a collective breath. In his limited experience, he knew the note was quite high. Though she did assure him when he questioned her about the difficulty of the song that it was actually the melody that she found challenging, stating it was a challenging melody to memorize because the logic behind it wasn’t clear. Whatever that meant. Despite being no expert he was under the distinct impression that her performance was close to, if not entirely, flawless.

He felt a hand clap on his back, sending him jolting forward before he turned around to see a familiar sight.

“My boy, what a lovely companion you have for this evening. You simply will have to introduce me.” Horace Slughorn said, keeping his hand on Severus’ shoulder.

“Horace.” Severus acknowledged, noting that Lucia was busked away by Narcissa to a group of people beside the orchestra.

“I can’t say I’m not surprised. Never took you for the type to… well you know. Doesn’t mean I’m not happy for you! You must be quite proud.” Horace continued.

“I can hardly take credit for her accomplishments.” Severus said, purposefully misinterpreting his comments. If this evening had done anything it had confirmed that he was woefully undeserving of Lucia Sometimes’ attention and everyone knew it.

“I would have said hello earlier but there are so many people that I haven’t seen in years. Quite the event.” Horace said absentmindedly.

“Yes, I suppose so.”

“I must admit I was quite chuffed when you decided to take the position of potions professor again. Not that I resent you, mind you. I just thought perhaps you might want to take a break.”

“Really? I was under the impression that you were happy to go back into retirement. Besides, you’re getting so much attention for being a war hero after leading all those Slytherin’s into battle.” Severus commented, keeping his judgement to himself. Horace had spent the last seven months capitalizing on all the status he had earned during the war. The only reason he was chuffed now was because the attention was starting to slow down.

“Yes well, if you ever consider stepping down know that I would be happy to take up the post again.” Horace offered, a look of shame hiding underneath his friendly smile.

Severus looked down at the man for a moment in consideration. Lucia was leaving after this year. She kept mentioning a vacant building next to the Weasley boy’s shop. Though he was loath to be close to them and their brood of a family, he had to admit that brewing potions alone all day sounded a lot better than teaching. She’d hint occasionally about wanting a low stress job, something like running a shop, and mentioned perhaps applying at Flourish and Blotts, stating she had a lovely conversation with one of the witches working there. Severus thought it might be a pleasant life if Lucia and he had a potions shop of their own. No it would be especially pleasant with Lucia.

Severus looked at Horace thoughtfully, considering the man’s offer. “Perhaps. I have been considering an early retirement as of late.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is Salammbo's Aria. It's from Citizen Kane and isn't technically from an Opera but it's really fucking good. And also really difficult to learn. I know I've got one classical singer reading. I would recommend taking a listen to the version by Venera Gimadieva. It's probably my favorite aria ever and I've been personally working on it for the past 6 months with nowhere near the level of perfection that this song demands.
> 
> So I mentioned in the last post that I had 2 story ideas for this that I plan on following this one with as it comes to a close. Well now I have 3. All of them would be continuations of this universe so Lucia and Severus' story would be part of canon for the other HP stories I write. Let me know which one, if any, you'd be interested in me writing first. All these are working titles and plots and may be modified.
> 
> The Problem with Polyjuice  
> Draco Malfoy/OC (Cecilia Prescott)  
> It's hardly Draco's fault he got in this situation. All he was trying to do was find a way to get out of the manor unrecognized and Blaise had offered him his identity as a scapegoat for excursions around the city. He didn't intend to go on a date with a half-blood. He wasn't planning to trick her into thinking he was someone else entirely. And he certainly could never have predicted that he'd fall in love with her. No, not his fault at all.
> 
> Here Be Dragons  
> Charlie Weasley/OC  
> If Sylvie wanted to get married, she would have stayed in Paris where the men were at least clean. She had far more important things to focus on. As a healer in training she didn't have time to focus on silly wizards and their propensity to get burned by oversized fire breathing lizards. Fortunately for her, Charlie didn't want a relationship either. He was already married as far as he was concerned, to a bonny lass named Norberta. Didn't mean they couldn't have a bit of fun though, did it?
> 
> A Brief History of Film  
> Sirius Black/OC  
> Sorcha reviews movies and drinks. Those are the only two things she does and that's fine with her. She might be dying but at least she's doing it with a press pass and a beer in hand. After meeting a man at the pub who has not only never seen The Godfather, but literally any other film, Sorcha makes it her personal mission to make him fall in love with movies the same way she has by showing him every film in her list of Sorcha's Top 100 Favourite Films Ever Made. Hopefully they have enough time to get through it before she... well she doesn't want to think about that. She'll just have to live long enough to finish off the list.


End file.
